tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938798835343717281.post4034652418314120091..comments2023-07-20T07:20:27.404-05:00Comments on Too Hot to Handle: The Fire FamilyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938798835343717281.post-40310254394994518842012-10-02T13:28:00.835-05:002012-10-02T13:28:00.835-05:00I read this at 3am, the first time through. I can...I read this at 3am, the first time through. I can only imagine life that you guys live, through what you have said. mind you, MFD is not all hearts and butterflies. There are jerks in every house. But I have not yet seen where they did not have each other's backs when came to work out in the field. We had good friends of ours almost write us off, because the FF did not pass our dept's pysch eval - he wasn't enough of a team player. I would hope that this will keep our FFs safe, but ther is no certainty in this world. Even the FD where I teach - I emailed a BC to find out how the shifts aligned for my med file, so the office knew what number to reach FF at (he never answers his cell when he is on shift). And they have gone out of their way to make sure everyone at the nearest house knows I am "family". I am far from naive. I realize what this life can do to families and relationships. I have seen the marriages destroyed by this life. We are battle tested and have learned how make this work. But, all of that aside, we (MFD) have not lost anyone since the Christmas Eve '94. We also lost a fire recruit in the 90s to a fall from a ladder, I believe. I could not find her information over lunch.<br /><br />As for the women. Female teachers nearly broke up our marriage. Claws came out when I came in. And there were 30+ in that building. I have no issues with the meds he works with, that is where most of the XXs end up. He is as dense as every other male when it comes to women hitting on him. I trust him and he is very open with just about everything.<br /><br />As for this job being on the pedestal, not happening. I am learning to make this life my own. I love the time I have to myself. But being a single mom of 4 muppets, aside from the day to day annoyances of having to do soooo much of this alone, at any given time I could be doing this ALL alone. I am very aware of that. BUT, I still trust the guys he works with to bring him home to me. They have constant training and do really look out for each other, even with the personality differences that piss them off on a daily basis. Living next to another fire family, I have stopped rolling my eyes when they great each other with "Brother" and a hug. You and I both know that those pictures in their helmets will do more good than anything else when it comes to bringing them home, but I still trust the FFs he is with to make sure of it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06206395438184642707noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938798835343717281.post-16624383236369248332012-10-01T23:46:24.614-05:002012-10-01T23:46:24.614-05:00Beautifully written post and I am very glad this h...Beautifully written post and I am very glad this has been your experience. I genuinely hope this will continue to be your experience. :) I agree with the younger crowd coming from a different (frequently annoying) viewpoint....but I am forgiving of it, because I remember being that younger, less mature firewife and having felt what they feel. Age definitely adds a grace and understanding in a firewife and in life in general. I disagree with your views on females in the fire service, but thats because my experience as 10 + years as a firewife, has been different. I will also readily admit it is based on one single department and probably not indicative of females in the fire service as a whole. But you have to imagine the depth of emotion that happens in an adrenaline based call. That forms a connection, an emotional connection, that being on the outside...we can't always be a part of. I've seen that connection many times lead to something more between an FFs whose marriages I thought were as solid as could be. Again, this is my jaded perspective, not one I'm trying to sell you on. As far as the brotherhood... I used to believe and speak exactly what you did. Unfortunately, the magnitude of the tragedy we've dealt with and brother against brother it brought with it, have long since jaded me beyond redemption for the ideal you describe. I trust my FF, and my FF alone, to have the wisdom, experience, knowledge and training to avoid a situation that would make him have to depend on another FF. I've been called to the hospital more times than I care to count because he's fallen through floors, roofs, out windows and been attacked. And who saved him? He saved himself. He limped, crawled and dragged his own hinney out of each of those situations. His firefighting mentality does not include the "brotherhood". Because he knows...having been there, when it comes down to those life or death moments, the ugly truth is, your will to survive will override everything else and it becomes every man for himself. Please don't do yourself a disservice by putting the job on a pedestal. Believe me...it will cause you lots of heartache down the road if you do. Amberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776758658176619884noreply@blogger.com