We are Family

I know I JUST posted about this, but I am finding examples of this everywhere!  EVEN at WORK!  

There are two other FFWs in my building - one active, one retired.  The retired FF has had some issues since retiring last year and needs help.  She was feeling lost about where to go next.  So, she called me over to her desk and asked for my help.  Duh.  Of Course!  There are some CO2 issues from back in the day when you didn't mask up, that show why today you DO mask up. He is not advocating for himself and is not really himself anymore...so she, in typical FFW fashion, decided to step in.  And where do you turn, to another FFW, of course.  I mean, DUH!  We can make it happen.  That is just how things go.

I'm a fixer, it makes me feel good when I can help make things happen.  I got the ball rolling and now, well, we'll see if the boys make me look good.  I am certain that they will.

Ladies, you are not alone in this, even on the days when you feel like you are.  Even if you department is teeny tiny, there are women that feel your pain.  I think it does help knowing to whom to go in your department, but you'd be surprised at the connections that networking brings.  Ask a certain BC (not MFD) about his latest round of conferences.  We have connections that can help you out.  "Hey, I know a guy" kinda stuff.  Or we can "listen" through cyber space or we can hold your hand if you are close enough.  We can help change out that faucet or we can send a YouTube video to help you clear that clog.  Just remember, like the guys, you are not alone in this.  BUT, among our FFW super powers, of which I have many, mind reading is sorely lacking.  Please speak up and say "HEY, LADIES.  I NEED YOUR HELP!" You would be amazed at the response you will get. 

You need a direction, hit me up here.  I am always here...

Never Alone

Taken by one of our amazing FFW from Firefighterwife.com

I am watching the memorial service for the Prescott 19, who left us only 9 days ago.  My muppets come and go, my youngest son was watching the pipes and drums...and I am trying to hold it together.  Tears are streaming for these families that I have never met, but somehow know so intimately.

I was fine until the reading of Isaiah's passage, and I lost it.  I have that written in my FF's helmet to remind him that he is never alone, never.  And to hear that at such an event, broke my heart, and the dam that was holding back the tears.   We all put ourselves in their shoes at this moment.  But, the tears come from the helplessness that I feel right now.  I cannot comfort them or reach out to them.  I cannot make the pain ease or their loneliness subside.  I can send my prayers and cry along with them, but that is it.

So, to Brendan McDonough and the families of those 19 amazing souls, thank you for giving them so that others may be safe.  Thank you for sacrificing the past and future for the common good.  And know, like our firefighters, you are never alone.  Never.  To all of our fire families, firefighters, firefighter wives, you are never alone.  Just say the word...

Peace.

When to ask for help

It is not always the easiest.  Especially when you are used to just throwing everything on your back and just getting it done.  When you suddenly need help getting dressed and taking a shower, it is a whole new ballgame. 

I hate feeling like a burden.  Hate it.  I am a stubborn mule, if I can't do it myself, it probably doesn't really need to be done.  Not my best attribute, but it does, none-the-less, make up part of  who I am.  I can open the door and carry the groceries and get it from the top shelf all by myself.  Except, now, I really can't.  I can't go down to the bunker to grab some snacks, I can't stand long enough to get to the bathroom without pain - much less make dinner.  Heck, I cannot even change my own pants alone.  

If nothing else, this is a humbling experience.  

My husband has been amazing.  Never once has he said no.  Never once has he made me feel like an interruption or a burden.  He has just been wonderful.  He is the most loving and patient man I have met.  I see why he makes such an awesome med.  His compassion and love for people flows deep and is genuine.  You can't fake that.  He has also learned how much I do around here.  Laundry has been an issue and he is starting to see it.  Enforcing chores and making sure they are done right.  Meals - all the time. Getting dog food.  It sounds like silly mundane day-to-day things, but he now has to do them.  It is nice to know that he can see the other side of it now.

I have to learn that dog fuzz and messy counters can wait.  I can't stand up to get it done and it will just have to wait.  I have to ask for help getting in and out of shower and changing my underwear.  The most simple and yet personal parts of my day, I cannot do alone.  I have to ask for help.

Maybe this is also a time for me to learn to slow down.  I have snuggled with my girls more than I have since school started.  Chatted with my husband about nothing, more than usual.  Maybe the Big Guy was saying, "LISTEN UP Girlie Girl.  Time for you to reflect."  And here I am reflecting...a lot.

And I am a strong woman!

My FF is back on shift today.  It is our first day on our own without Daddy.  BUT, it also means he'll be home with me during the day tomorrow. :)  Wish me luck.

Kiss your FFs, snuggle with your muppets and enjoy your day.  And when you need it, ask for help.