Finals

I love the sound of that.  

Finals.

Finals mean I FINALly get some time to be me.  Finals mean I FINALly get to see my kids for more than a quick minute.  Finals mean I get to FINALly address the fact that my womb is getting back at me for several traumatic pregnancies.  Finals mean I FINALly get to address my grief over losing my grandpa.  Finals mean I can FINALly find my house again under all the chaos that is left behind in the wake of life.  Finals mean I can FINALly get into a classroom that is mean for my class size and my discipline.  Finals mean my Seniors are FINALly on the path that is the first day of the rest of their life.

Finally.

I can breathe...well I will be able to breathe after tonight.  

No more fear of cancer in my belly.  No more anxiety for my grandma.  No more periods lasting 26 days out of a month - with all the inconvenience and lack of energy that comes with that.  No more papers (for a bit). No more staff meetings..well significantly less.  No more juggling schedules to accommodate two fire families with four FT parents.  

Life can just be!

I had a great finish to the school year.  My kids service learning project was a total SNAFU - nothing went right.  BUT, it was a night that 40 teenagers will talk about for years to come.  I mean how lucky am I that 40 teens came out to work a trust building party for a neighborhood they don't live in on a beautiful Friday night, the week before exams!!  My classes are in place for next year.  My girls room is clean.  My new van is being detailed as we speak.  

Life is good.  I will get back to writing.  I will get back to networking.  I will walk around and watch the world through the lens of my camera.  I will find my way out of the chaos that was the school year - wonderful, rewarding, stressful, exhausting and just my world.  I will take vacation so that I am strong enough to take it all on again in August. 

I'm back.  I'll see you in a week.  We have a 48 this weekend, after my FF spent all last weekend on the Fire/Safety Crew at the Mile.  And, teachers still have 2 more days of school left...

Hug the muppets, love on your fireman and enjoy each day for what it brings.  Rest in Peace, Grandpa.  We miss you already.