My Week in Review

Craziness does not begin to explain it.  The Boston Fire hits home, even though we are half a country away.  The Fire Wife community gasped a collective breath.  I know sometimes the guys think we are over reacting...and some are.  But, for that split second we can all feel the heartbreak that those left behind will feel for the rest of their lives.  There is of course much discussion to be had in our circles.  I pray we never have to have these discussions again.

Work was insane, but in an amazing way.  My kids latched on to a 95 Theses project, that I always do, like I never expected.  It real, it was genuine, and it was a bit raw.  But they EXPERIENCED learning, like I think they never have before...or at least have not felt often enough.  And, unlike Martin Luther, the anti-Semitic, misogynistic, ill tempered scripture scholar, the voices of my kids were heard.  Our principal is going to address some of their concerns. I found that out while they were working with Serve2Unite and the University on a HUGE community service project.  And when I stepped back into my room and shared the news, their collective faces lit UP! They even came up with a name - the BVHS Neighborhood Ninjas. LOVE! From there, the inspiration flowed through the room and it was awesome to see.

I went to a Bucks game with the kids and my FF on Thursday.  I did not sleep well at all, so I was searching for a proper excuse to NOT go.  Couldn't find one...and so I went.  Suddenly, I got a text from an amazing FFW.  She came out of the bathroom and there were two little girls that looked amazingly like mine!  So, given the empty nature of the BC, we found 2 rows we could all fit in.  The FFs sat and chatted all night, the kids bonded and I enjoyed myself where I expected to be fighting to stay awake.  Such a nice surprise!

We found a place that will take my grandpa.  They have a secure facility.  My dad and grandma were happy with what they saw.  OF COURSE, there is a bump in the road.  Things were going so smoothly.  He had TB when my dad was 12ish...to they point where both of his parents were in a sanitarium.  Any TB test you give him, will come back positive.  So, we go through the X-Rays, but he can't take a deep enough breath to get a clear image.  So, yesterday they were doing a CT to check.  And so, we hurry up and wait.  My dad is meeting with the admin of the building we are hoping to move him to this week. Fingers crossed.

We are just wrapping up a 48.  I had to run to the firehouse Friday night to drop off his meds. That would be a BAD thing to go without on a 48. The tones went off after he got done mopping the kitchen - in his sexy basketball shorts, black socks and Crocs. <snicker> Tones said hit by a car or ejected from a car.  As I was leaving, a witness pulled up in a panic.  I calmed her down and assured her, they were leaving in a matter of seconds.  I speak enough Spanish to usually get by, but speedy, freaked Spanish is not in my repertoire.  I got her calmed down - turns out it was a pedestrian hit and her foot was amputated.  Clearly a reason to be freaked out. 

The Muppets are doing well. One is barking like a seal.  Her bronchiospasms are insane. Clearly, there needs to be some medical attention given.  Our honey cough syrup and cough drops are not cutting it. Although, if I could get her to NOT run or yell, I can keep it undercontrol.  The other girly girl smooshed her glasses.  The boys and I did some spring cleaning...which was interrupted by iPod usage.  Needless to say, I confiscated said electronic devices. Way too much like work.  Funny thing was, I got the same excuse - checking the time.  My only issue with that - he was in the living room on the couch.  Had he been in the kitchen, unloading the dishwasher - where there are 3 clocks available in an 8 foot radius. Sooooo, they are now sitting on my dresser.

I also addressed my bedding issue.  Our dog fur layer, does not stick to they satiny type comforters. So that is what I have been buying.  But, they do not hold up to polar bears sneaking up on the bed.  So, we needed a quilt.  I looked into a couple of options, one I would still like to make happen, but I bought one in the mean time. The fireman approved from afar, so life is good.   

Bucks won, Badgers are in the Final Four, Opening Day is upon us. ON WISCONSIN!


And now, I am waiting for the day to begin.  Mass and then breakfast with my FF.  From there, the three stooges are going with my FF to see my grandpa.  My seal-girl and I will be staying behind.  I do believe she will be getting some much coveted computer time and I will be getting some grading in.

Have a great Sunday!  

A moment...

Sometimes you just need to take one. 

I snapped at the kids this morning.  Like, scary, holy crap she's PISSED kind of a snap.  They quickly fell into line because I NEVER snap like that.  I try my damnedest not to.  But this morning, my frustration over my less than optimal teaching position this fall and the fact that 40 hour weeks have stolen another summer from us and that laundry is not done and life is not going the way I want it to go took over.  And I snapped.

My depression and frustration and loneliness took over, even it was just for a moment.  And I let it.  I probably should not have, I am much better control freak than that.  But I did.  

Then I got my eyes checked (exactly the same as they were 2 years ago - life is good for a girl whose "eyes are going to get worse" is she doesn't wear her glasses - just sayin') and cried the whole way there because I snapped at my kids.  Some thoughts popped into my brain that I eventually stashed away, that I really should not have let pop in.  Again, control freaks are in much better control than that.  I should be very disappointed in myself. 

I have the cleanest kitchen and dining room and bathroom.  D even started dusting the living room.   They moved very quickly while I was at the exam.

And then I asked them to go take care of their bedrooms - like they were originally asked to, and I felt that evil monster peeking over my shoulder.  So I left.  I ran to the store to pick up chicken for dinner and some milk for the babies, of whom I was fearful of destroying with my laser beam eyes. And I cried the whole way there. When I returned and D started to fuss because I picked up a Twix hoping that the chocolate would help boost my serotonin levels, I think I sent her a death look and she went back to her lunch, quietly.

You can tell it is bad when my FF had called TWICE by noon to check on me.  He never calls unless he needs something or he's bored.  Seeing as he is at a conference, chances are he is taking the time when he can, not because he is bored.  I must be on his radar.

I have abandoned them, in the bottomless abysses that comprise their sleeping quarters, and I didn't even tell them.  I left for my patio, with my phone and my laptop and my Nook.  I am listening to the Bruno Mars songs that I cannot usually listen to, seeing as I do try to shield the muppets from too many F-bombs. I am in the shade so as not to burn, but I could probably use the Vitamin D.   I took the polar bears with me, just to have them bark at Lt. Crabby Arse next door who is yelling at his kids and so they (the polar bears) yelled at him, as those kids are part of the flock they have come to protect.  I just took the drooly ringleader and threw him back in the house.  He was breaking my Bruno Mars peace with his barking protests.

I am figuring out dinner, trying to get as many people to the dinner table at the same time.  But Daddy's "normal" hours this week does not match up with football practice - with my electronics and caffeinated beverage du jour.  And they have found me.

I sent them back into the house, without a word on either end.

I am taking a moment.  I am in a self-imposed time out.  Just me, my electronics, my quiet tri-pawed polar guard and social media for distraction from my mind.  

My hero cape must in the mound o'laundry that my FF has promised he would do for me, cause I am not feeling it all today.  I am nobody's hero today.  Instead, I am a lonely, broken mom of 4, fire wife.

I'm taking a moment...

My Crazy Life

Things have been absolutely CRAZY around here. Sorting, packing, loading, unloading. Just NUTS. Last night we had some nasty t-storms roll through and somehow I ended up with a child next to me, I thought about banishing her back to her realm, but no.  It is kind of refreshing to have her just BE here with me.  Woke me up early, but that is okay.  I have missed the cyberworld.  It has been nice.  No tea parties, not packing, not playing with Strawberry Shortcakes - just being.  Today, my FF goes to work.  My oldest and youngest will be hanging out with me.  I think we will find the kitchen, pick up the family room and the dining room and then just chill.  There is laundry to be done - A TON of it!  I am SOOOOOO behind on laundry.  I might try and sneak some of that in, too. J works a 48 this weekend as well, I am certain I will be pulling my hair out over that by Sunday - especially with all that laundry calling my name.  But through all of this craziness, I think we have forgotten to just BE.  That is my goal for today. JUST BE!

Tomorrow - back to the craziness....