An Open Letter to the CEO of Buffalo Wild Wings

This is the week before exams as a teacher and a mom of a sophomore can be a bit stressful. When you add the Lieutenant's exam, there's a whole other level of stress. Our house is still not put back together, there are baseboards and radiator covers still in need of a home, there are paint tools and a Christmas tree that still need to be addressed. I have four rooms of  new beautiful floors, but need to find the time to put the pieces all back together has evaded us. It makes me twitchy to have things not in place. We decided to get away from it all, literally just for an hour.

Sometimes I think we are so caught up in the bigger, better, newest, most technologically advanced ways of attracting customers, that we forget that sometimes plain, ole' boring customer service might be the way to go.  

It was not so pretty.

Sally J. Smith 
President/CEO
Buffalo Wild Wings 
5500 Wayzata Blvd. 
Suite 1600 
Minneapolis, MN 55416 

Dear Ms. Smith, 

      My name is Trina. I am a high school history teacher within the Public Schools. I am married to a Firefighter/Paramedic from the Fire Department and we have four lovely Muppets, the rest of the world calls our kids.

Last night, my husband and I were able to sneak out for an hour – literally, in between me coming home with our oldest and the clock maker coming to look at the 1952 grandfather clock we bought to celebrate our new home this fall.  We decided to go for wings, as were celebrating my husband’s (hopefully successful) completion of the Lieutenant’s exam earlier in the day.

Now, with the hectic lifestyle for firefighters, working shifts of 24 hours on and 48 hours off, you can imagine how throwing in the individual schedules of four kids between the ages of 8 and 16 creates a whole other layer of insanity. And, although the world believes that we as teachers are instantly done at 3:55pm when the kids walk out the door, most days I am not leaving until 5:30pm or later. My homework does not even get looked at until after the two youngest are in bed. We do not get many opportunities, especially during the school week, to get out alone.

       We were getting a bite to eat at your restaurant at 3636 S. 27th St in Milwaukee. I was grumbling about being placed at the booth right by the hostess stand, but in the end, I was thankful to be there.

Apparently, a group of teenagers sprayed pepper spray in the restaurant. As the entire southern end of the restaurant began fleeing, we wondered what the issue was. And then I took a breath to make a comment. My nose was on fire, my sinuses began draining and I could not stop coughing. I know now how I will react to exposure to pepper spray, as it apparently was pulled over to our table through the ventilation system. My husband, being a med on scene, advised your manager (Julio, I believe) to clear the restaurant and call 911. He told my husband he was dealing with it internally and there was no need. There were at least two pregnant servers and two little girls with asthma that were being impacted by this exposure, as well as the throngs that suffered irritation from the spray. The whole while, the teens were brought boxes for their food and never asked to leave. They “believed” they were spraying air freshener. As a high school teacher, I can leave my opinion of that statement to your imagination. They did not leave until Engine 12 and the police pulled up. 

I find your manager’s lack of reaction to be inexcusable. I suffered the whole night and continue to sound like a lifelong smoker while I prepare my students for their exams. I am guessing that my lungs have been compromised from the 50+ pulmonary emboli I developed following surgery in 2014 and that would be at the root of the continued discomfort. But who would have thought that dinner out would be off limits? It is completely inconceivable. 

The most frustrating aspect of this whole fiasco is your manager’s lack of concern; for his wait staff, for his customers and for the reputation of that location and truthfully, your chain as a whole. He truly appeared to have no concern for anyone, except his nightly total.

I paid for our drinks and pretzels, as they were delivered as we were about to leave and sat and shivered in the breezeway. My husband encouraged people to leave and seek medical attention if needed since there was a delay in calling 911, tending to those who were struggling until the fire department arrived, by law, he can’t just walk away. 

I posted a note on your company’s Facebook page and was shocked when I was asked to simply fill out a generic “how was your experience” survey. I felt completely disregarded. I am not sure I will be able to get over that. Slow service, doesn’t bother me. I waited tables through college and my first year of teaching all those years ago. That seems to be the biggest complaint of this location. We come back to watch basketball during March Madness because it is a safe place to watch multiple games with the kids. Sadly, I am going to guess we’ll probably pull out our DirecTV Genies instead this year. My health is significantly more important. Slow service didn’t kill my business, apathy did.

I do hope this makes it to your desk. I realize we are not on your radar at all. But in the grand scheme of things, if your company doesn’t care for its employees or its customer base, which is keeping the lights on, there is really no place for that company in my world.

I hope this is addressed properly and timely.
Thank you for your time.

A FireWife's Epic Failure as a Mother

Recently a friend of mine from college sent me a message on social media.  We talk all the time in comments and on each other's walls, but only rarely do we message each other.  If I may so bold to summarize her message, essentially she asked how in the world I was so put together with 4 kids and a firefighter that is gone so much.  I always seem to take things in stride. Whereas she, with three kids and a husband with a more traditional job, felt like she was always struggling to get by...especially when he is gone.

You would think that I would have been thrilled with such a compliment, but instead, I felt ashamed.  I am not put together.  I am a mess.  I have metl downs and yell more than I would like.  I am impatient and snippy when I feel overwhelmed and under supported.  I am stubborn and pigheaded when I feel that it was "someone else's job" to do something...and I refuse to do it. I am not perfect.  I am horribly flawed. 

Even as I am writing this blog, literally sitting down in my living room for the first time since 6:30am (It is 7:40pm...on a shift day.) I am sniping at my youngest in my head. Why, do you ask?  Because she is asking about the Packer game while I am trying to type this post.  Mind you.  Her face time with me has been VERY limited this week.  I have gone back to work.  I was at work from 6:30am until 3:30pm.  At Training Monday-Wednesday from 4pm-8pm. (Oh so IRONICALLY, it was training for teachers on relieving stress through breathing.) Today, I had the most stressful training for a gradebook that I have ever experienced...and got nothing done that I needed to get so I am ready on Tuesday.  From there I grabbed the three youngest muppets...the oldest was at football practice...having to bike because I was at work...and take D to my dad's so he could take her judo.  We ran to Target because my polar bears had NO food in the house, picked up N from practice twenty after seven.  And I am home.  

So, snippiness, driving through rush hour after dropping off D.  (Mind you, this is after driving nearly an hour to make the 25 minute drive there.) B and O were singing as loud as possibly and clapping, horribly off-beat, to And All the People Said Amen by Matt Maher.  And I snapped at them.

Yup.  Epic.  Failure.

I snapped at my kids because the Spirit moved them.  

Fail.

But, my stress level was stronger than I was.  

Excuses.

The people driving recklessly in the parking lot formerly known as I-94 and the two syllabi I have yet to finish writing and the picnics that we need to attend and host even though I am SO not ready for that first day and I have so much to do. I need to pick up fabric for a table in my room and my hubby has to help me mount my map bracket and I need make 200 copies of syllabi and print out rosters and...

Breathe.

I am missing that part.

And because I am missing that part, I am missing out on the joy that my people bring just because the song that moved their soul came on.  Because I have let life consume me.  I have given up control to stress and life is now controlling me.

So not a happy place for a control freak to find herself. 

I am going to leave you know.  As my muppets are enjoying the Packer game...and I am trying to set up my last prep in my grade book.  It only has 6 pages of standards.  And each standard needs to have 3 pieces of evidence. And...I am trying so hard not to be an epic failure.  I am a FireWife and I am Fire Strong. 

Just not today.

Stress

You know how it creeps in, makes you a snappy turtle and you wish you had just bitten your tongue.  Yeah, that was this morning. Stress got to me.  Laundry has piled up and no one seems to want to help.  A controlling a$$ of a boyfriend is literally sucking the life out of the daughter of friends of ours, it is bothering me so much I can't sleep. There is still SO much packing to do and my FF is spending 3 days this week on the fire crew at the race track (not to mention one of those days is when I finally scheduled family pictures - considering we have NEVER had professional ones done - after consulting the calendar that "had all the race days in it") on top of the three days he is on shift this week.  I snapped.


Snapped because we are out of cereal.  Snapped because my kids can't seem to figure out that when the garbage can is overflowing, it is time to take it out.  Snapped because when we moved in August, he worked 48 after 48 after 48 and I had to do the move alone - with 4 kids...and history seems to repeat itself.  Snapped because I still have to close up my classroom, with said 4 kids, because my husband is at the race track.  Snapped because we lost a day of painting because I listened to the girl at Lowe's rather than my gut.  I just snapped.  


And now his phone is dead and I can't even say I am sorry.  I won't see him until later tomorrow night.  Tonight will be one of the busiest shifts he has all year.  The weather will be in the 90s.  The beer will be flowing.  He had 16 runs on Friday, no doubt today will be worse.


I know better.

A Sign to Slow Down

We all have them - those signs that say the stress of
life is getting to be too much.  Mine started Friday night. We had some things to get done.  I took care of someone to watch the kids.  Met my husband's uncle did what needed to be done and waited for my husband to meet us from the track.  Once we got my hubby's opinion on the stuff we needed, the three of us went to dinner.  After dinner, while we were chatting - that feeling came over me and I could not join in the conversation, I just couldn't talk.  I started to feel paranoid that they were talking about me and heard a few voices that I am not sure were there.  No, not schizophrenia, just a complex partial seizure.  It is my sign that I am stressed out and worn out beyond what my brain can handle.  My last seizure was a tonic clonic in January of 2009 - while I was driving home from work.  SCARY!  Luckily it was just me and a light pole, Thank God! (True story, my husband's current LT was on that accident and remembered it.  MFD is such a small little world.  So embarrassing! What are ya gonna do?)  J was at the doctor's office, boys were still at school and girls were still at the sitters - can you say guardian angel!) But literally, NOTHING since then.  It has been nice.  All of this from a fever at three-  AYE!  So, since the race weekend is done, my FF opted OUT of tire testing yesterday and spent it with me.  He took me to breakfast.  Life was nice.  We had a meeting, helped some friends unpack now that they are FINALLY getting back in their house after a a Labor Day fire.  We had dinner with my dad and brother's family to celebrate my dad's birthday and we came home and tucked the muppets in.  I think I needed a day like that.


I have mesial temporal sclerosis.  There is scarring in my brain from a febrile convulsion at the age of 3 - dx at the age of 27, after a 27 minute tonic-clonic seizure.  My brain is fried.  Luckily - if you can say that - it happened early enough in my life that my brain rewired itself and I have the ability to live a normal life.  I do have some nominal aphasia - the word gets stuck on the tip of my tongue - A LOT.  I do have issues with short term memory - I have used a Palm PDA since 2002, now my Droid and the Cozi app do the job.  I use sticky notes and take copious notes at work on conversation with parents, at meetings, etc.  All things that are manageable.  I have had 6 t/c sz - I think - in the last 9 years. 

I have been spoiled.  Usually my big seizures come when I am over tired, stressed out and there is a strong lightning storm.  (Don't ask about the storm, I don't know.  We think it might be something with the barometric pressure.)  So, I am taking this as my sign that it is time to relax about things and just enjoy my kids and the summer - BEFORE I do have a t/c sz.  So - today - the three stooges headed up to the school in the neighborhood for the day camp program with their friends.  I am just going to chill with O - it is one of those foggy, rainy, yucky kinds of a day. My FF is back at work today, so since it is one of those foggy, rainy, yucky kinds of a day, we are going to turn it into one of those lazy, Netflix and popcorn kinds of days. My brain told me in no uncertain terms that I have overextended myself and need to fix that.  I intend to do just that.

Kiss your firefighters, hug your kids and take time to admire the world around you!