Making a House a Home, Again

I feel like a military family. Like we are always moving. I think we may have finally found our forever home. I won't bore you with the details, but it was an insane, unexpected turn of events. It happened very quickly and my husband is now on top of the world.

All of which is good. 

He LOVES the house. We finally have enough room to have all our family over and not feel like we are on top of each other.

We have a family room and a living room. We have a game room - in process. We have a two car garage and a real fireplace.  We have a legit dining room. Not a living room we turned into a dining room. Not a heated breezeway that we put our china cabinet in. Not a bedroom that we opted to use instead of jamming into a tiny kitchen. A real life dining room. All so good. We have a 2nd FULL bathroom, which we have never had before. We have an amazing fenced in yard and entire neighborhood of truly amazing people. The kids LOVE this house, even though they are still sharing rooms. I have my own office, in the most amazing of purples.

But I am not feeling like I am at home, yet.

I don't completely relax when I come home. My shoes are not unpacked, yet. I know - first world problem for sure. My closet still has the clothes just tossed in there. I hate the color of my bedroom - but he liked it, so we had to give it a try. I HATE IT. Dungeony and dreary and belch. So, now I have to find a day to paint. The carpeting was horribly stained and needs to come out - in the living room/dining room and game room carpeting smells like you would not believe. I know these are all minor. I will get my hardwood and laminate. I know  that. But I am letting all of these things get in the way of making this a home for us.

I just need to let me self relax and accept it as home. I will get my bathroom unpacked, some day. I will find my shoes and organize my closet, over Christmas break. I will have the rest of my life to make it my own. I will. I started with our menu board. It is my mark on this kitchen. It ties our family to this house and forces us to stop unpacking and running around so we can eat together.

I hoped that the Halloween decorations would pull me in. They definitely pulled the neighbors in, all so very nice. But I felt like I was decorating a store front. 

I wish I had the answer. Maybe the Christmas trees going up will light up my heart. Maybe it will just take time. Maybe it is just that all of the work obligations I have found myself carrying around are just not allowing me to love it like the rest of the crew. Maybe it is just some combination thereof.

Anyway, after all my grumping, here's my favorite room of the house. I can't wait to have a fire in it. I can't wait to get the tree up in here.  I can't wait to enjoy it.

I need to take a new picture without the 2nd TV in there and with all the turn of the
century canvases up!

All a Matter of...

Perspective...

Time...

Motivation...

We always place things into a box that makes whatever it is feel like everything will be okay. We remind ourselves that there is always someone else who is worse off than we are. We remind ourselves that there are families that would love to have the ability to struggle with their kids over getting their rooms clean. We consider the fact that there are people literally starving, while we are complaining that there is "nothing" in the house.

I find myself doing a lot of that lately. Mostly for good cause. I need to remind myself of how good I actually have it. I need to remind myself that work is what makes it amazing. I will be missing the chaos of 4 kids going in 4 different directions sooner than I think. A year ago, I wasn't sure I would be around to complain about everything.

And I remind myself of that, daily. Sometimes hourly. 

I am still here. Exhausted. Frustrated. Loved. Here.

But I also remind myself that it is okay to be human. I don't always have to wear my Superwoman UnderRoos. Especially at work,  I really need to learn that it is okay to ask people to help you carry the load. I need to remember that I don't need to make change happen all by myself. There are a ton of people who can help make that happen. I don't have to save the world single-handedly. There are a ton of super heroes just waiting for me not to be a control freak. If I fail, I just head back to the drawing board to analyze what worked and what didn't. And from there, you build your next game plan. From there, you come back stronger.

I failed this weekend. My on-line format for my classes was going through a major update and I could not get it to play nicely until Monday morning - 2nd hour. I did not get any of the grading done that I wanted to. As a teacher I failed. I didn't understand that their update meant such a headache for me. I figured two hours of no access, in the dark of night and then all would be well with the morning light. I know better than that. It was so not the case and I failed. And yet, my classroom is still standing and my kids were still goofy. Life went on, even with my imperfection. AMAZING.

There were two TVs because we can't find the
base for the one on the stand. Sigh.
It is in a box.

But, I did get the common areas of the house unpacked and my walls are no longer bare. My lovely FF is currently working on my office (He is that amazing) AND we all got the Halloween decorations up, The kids had so much fun with that. We are taking this big (to us) house and trying turn it into our home. And that is all that matters. 

We got the curtains hung this weekend because I felt like singing
"I'll Be Watching You" in a minor key every time I walked
past the window during the dark of night.

The meetings that seem to control my day, will still be there. But my kids will not. They will move on to their lives, separate from our home. 

Home. Hopefully they will always see this house as home. Hopefully the teenagers will keep wanting to hang out here. Hopefully this will be filled with the chaos of toddlers again, someday. Home is where the heart is. Boxes and meetings, they are part of life. They keep the lights on and the comforts going. Those are just the details.  The big picture includes Ghosts in the Graveyard and giggles at the table. The big picture is what we make it and what we remember.

It is all a matter of making it memorable.  They won't remember the boxes that seemed to stay piled up forever, they will remember the movies and the giggles and the running around. Memories.

Memories make the home, not the zip code.

Dreams take Work

Anything worth having is worth working for. Right? No matter the fatigue factor or the exhaustion. No matter the stress or the time. If it is worth it.

As we move AGAIN and into our final, forever home, I am reminding myself of this. It is FINALLY in the neighborhood we have been looking at for YEARS. It is FINALLY large enough for our big family. It was totally unexpected, totally not where we were going with things, but totally PERFECT for us. And so it is worth it.

I am hoping to make our 2600 sq. ft. storage unit look like a home soon. I found my makeup this morning - first world issue for sure. But that allowed some comfort. I don't know where my comforter and sheets are, but I will find them before the cold sets in. There is an extra refrigerator in the middle of my kitchen, as we work to make room for one down in the game room that is currently full of boxes. I am hoping to make that space become usable soon. I am hoping to find stuff soon.

I am hoping to be able to wash clothes soon. We just bought an AMAZING new washer dryer set. LOVELY. 9.0 cu. ft. gas dryer...in my all electric house. Sigh...so we ran to Sears...and bought a new electric dryer for my all electric house...because that expensive new dryer is cheaper than busting up the concrete slab that the laundry room sits on to make that happen. SO...if you need a gas dryer - that I would never have gotten rid of...hit me up.

I am hoping to be able to enjoy life, most of all. I am reminding myself, that this time of work and stress and headaches, will be worth it when my whole family can sit at the same table, in the same room for Thanksgiving. It will be worth it when there is space for my kids to come home with their families and spend the night. It will be worth when I am the grandma and I can steal all of my grandkids for the weekend and they can all stay with me.

It is so worth it.

Sleep can wait. Grey's can wait. Grading can...oh wait. Sigh, still need to do that. I love this house. Now, I need to find it beneath all the boxes and tubs.  It is there, our home, somewhere. I'll do a tour for you soon. Who knows, maybe, I'll give you the box tour tonight. ;)

Happy Wednesday!

We Survived the Move!

Barely, but we did.  My sanity is on the verge of extinction.  My lovely FF has worked - either on shift or at the Milwaukee Mile - 9 of the last 14 days.  (Sore subject, but I am trying to get over it.)  He can't see why I might be bothered by it - male vs. female, I guess.


I have yet to have every room put together at the same time, but I will have it by tomorrow - D's belated birthday party is upon us.  Today is the first day I have just sat.  The cable guy undid the satellite cables when he installed the internet, not good.  The fire family next door has meshed with our crew o' muppets AMAZINGLY.  I love the neighborhood.  I miss having flowers. The dogs have FINALLY settled in.  The foyer is the only space that needs to be painted.  My kitchen SO needs a new floor.  My stove needs to make it in from the garage, but first my firefighter needs to be here to reconnect the gas line - I hate this old electric stove!  My husband bought me a new dining set to replace the one Bear chewed up as a puppy.  I so missed having a dishwasher.  I realized I could survive a week and a half without the WWW, well on my computer, anyway. My hubby thinks this is his favorite house that I have "designed". (Interior decorator, I could never be!)  The boys love having their own space.  Our bedroom is a tad small, but I think it is going to be just fine. Same thing with our bathroom - has outdated blue tiling, but I am looking for a solution.  After today, I can spend less time putting rooms together, while putting out fires, making peace treaties, paying attention to my Muppets and just enjoy the time.


So, birthday party tomorrow, pics posted Monday.  Hubby home for a while after today's race.  


We'll see if my children survive...but, we'll see

T Minus 2

2 days to go.  Kids are excited.  Hubby is sleeping, something about working all this week (including tomorrow) and being at the track on his days off - ya think?  Me - just stressing.  Looking at how much is NOT packed, wondering how we are going to get all this done.  Calling to have all the services forwarded. Confirming the movers. Packing the house.  You know, seems like EVERYTHING. Ah well.

If you don't like the weather here, wait 5 minutes it'll change.
We have had July heat, Autumn crispness, and March dreary dampness -
all in 5 days.

Wish me luck on the rummage sale.  I don't want to move this stuff again, to St. Vinny's or the house.  Yesterday it was dreary, rainy, 40s, windy and only old people came out.  Old people don't want bouncy zebras or pretty toddler dresses.  Today is supposed to be sunny and 70s- it will be better.  (Note, this was after 90s on Sunday and Monday...just sayin')

Six Days and Counting

This post was started yesterday...


I am so ready to be done with this move.  I am ready to be able to sit down with my kids and just be.

N's room progressing yesterday.
Jimmy Johnson will soon adorn these walls.

Painting should be done tonight.  Well, almost done anyway. I took the kids with me yesterday and got a whopping ONE room done. Ah well.  My FF came after he was done at the race track, and got the red back on the wall.  (Don't even get me started about the paint girl at Lowe's in Manitowoc who told me I would not need a grey primer for my red walls.  Dummy, always go with your gut! We lost 2 days of painting to that fiasco.) So, N's room - painted, our room - almost done - the former butt crack wall still needs to be tended to.  Dining room - done.  That leaves me with the foyer (if you can call it that), the girls' room and B's room.  I should be able to knock out the kids' rooms tonight and probably get to the butt crack tonight, too.  Especially since my hubby taped off the bedrooms - it will be a breeze.


Packing, still some to be done.  Our bedroom - all non-clothing is packed up. My sweaters and sweatshirts boxed and ready.  I will take up the dresser drawers this weekend - I'm weird like that.  I also saw somewhere that if you "diaper" your hanging clothes, it goes pretty smoothly, so I will do that as well.  Girls' room - done.  Boys' room - half done.  Dining room - never unpacked. :)  Kitchen - haven't touched it.  Office - don't want to touch it.  We're getting there.  To my army wife friends - I don't know how you do this, but iSalud!


Timeline for the week - painting tonight, windows in on Thursday, carpeting in on Thursday, preparing for the weekend's neighborhood rummage sale on Thursday, Family Pictures Friday, FF finish any painting on Friday after he's done at the race track, sell the rummage goods Friday after pictures are done, Saturday AM - rummage sale, pack the kitchen and office, Saturday PM - deliver boxes to the new house.


By this time next week, I will be waiting impatiently for the moving truck.  By this time next month, I will be enjoying my summer.  At least it does not consume the whole summer. I just need to remind myself of that!



...and completed today.


So here are the updates. Probably one more day of painting, I'll get to that tomorrow.  Here is what was completed last night...

Dining room
Okay, so this was done earlier in the week, but I love the color.

Our bedroom - still being completed.  Accent wall in mocha.
Also worked on earlier...

B boy's room.  The color is Gone Fishin' - pretty appropriate since his
theme is sea life- fish, dolphins, clams...

My red room - also picked up a new lamp for this room today.

The girlie girls room, just came home with some
new accessories for the purple paradise.
Notice the lack of sunlight in this one...just sayin'.

So, enjoy your weekend, in case I am not back here.  Tomorrow is a neighborhood rummage sale.  Saturday, too.  (While my hubby packs the kitchen and the office.)  Sunday my hubby is working - go figure! And Monday is the big day!  I will definitely have pictures for you guys next week.  I can't WAIT!

PS - school's out for summer...

Stress

You know how it creeps in, makes you a snappy turtle and you wish you had just bitten your tongue.  Yeah, that was this morning. Stress got to me.  Laundry has piled up and no one seems to want to help.  A controlling a$$ of a boyfriend is literally sucking the life out of the daughter of friends of ours, it is bothering me so much I can't sleep. There is still SO much packing to do and my FF is spending 3 days this week on the fire crew at the race track (not to mention one of those days is when I finally scheduled family pictures - considering we have NEVER had professional ones done - after consulting the calendar that "had all the race days in it") on top of the three days he is on shift this week.  I snapped.


Snapped because we are out of cereal.  Snapped because my kids can't seem to figure out that when the garbage can is overflowing, it is time to take it out.  Snapped because when we moved in August, he worked 48 after 48 after 48 and I had to do the move alone - with 4 kids...and history seems to repeat itself.  Snapped because I still have to close up my classroom, with said 4 kids, because my husband is at the race track.  Snapped because we lost a day of painting because I listened to the girl at Lowe's rather than my gut.  I just snapped.  


And now his phone is dead and I can't even say I am sorry.  I won't see him until later tomorrow night.  Tonight will be one of the busiest shifts he has all year.  The weather will be in the 90s.  The beer will be flowing.  He had 16 runs on Friday, no doubt today will be worse.


I know better.

Go Bold or Go Home

But what do you do when you are home and the bold doesn't work?


I DESPISE white walls.  The literally bother me to the point of obsession.  My classroom is covered in "stuff" because of it.  So, it makes sense that my home would be no different.  


I got my red paint up on the wall...
 and my poor hubby was NERVOUS as he did the edging for me.


 But it grew on him.

and now the first coat is on. 

And I LOVE it!  I can't wait to get the second coat on today.

The one room I wasn't worried about I HATED and to take Lowe's and Valspar up on their "Love Your Color Guarantee".  And it was on the one room I thought I would be safe with - our bedroom.  It is the same color we have now.  But, our new bedroom is smaller...and as soon as J started edging, I knew it wouldn't work.

We got one coat on the living room, the dining room is done, our bedroom has 2 3/4 walls done.  We still need to go over the edging, but I wanted to make sure it would dry, before I primed it and redid it.  All I see is a dirty butt crack...sorry.  That is what happens when you spend 11 years with diapers, I guess. I can't wait to get it done this morning.

Yesterday

Was amazing and crazy, all in one ball of 24 hours.  I went with my kids to HALO with 14 seniors.  We pulled weeds, planted tomatoes and tended to the needs of their teaching gardens.  That was until 9:30ish.  From there, we helped out the food pantry - sorting and reboxing all of the food from the USPS "Stamp Out Hunger" Campaign.  I think we did a total of 9 pallets of food.  The kids were amazing.  Even the volunteers were amazed at the focus of this crew.

I got home, immediately helped my hubby and our amazing neighbors pack up the 26 foot U-Haul for the second trip up to the new house. (He and a few other FFs got the rest of the boxes from the 2.5 car garage storage unit up and into the basement earlier in the day.  They also got the swing set moved, which THRILLED the kids next door.) Where we subsequently unloaded it. (Funny how that works!) I think we made it home around 10pm.  I don't remember falling asleep.  Might have something to do with the 2 hours of sleep I got night before, waking up at 1am.


So, today, I figure by noon, I won't be moving so swiftly.  Then, I have a few days before we do it all over again.  2 more days of classes, 2 more days of exams and then I can focus on my family and home.

Passive Aggressive, Much?

yup, I can be that way.

When we moved last summer, I found a big old house.  We were going to rent it until we knew what was going on with residency and then buy it.  I love OLD houses, unless they have not been properly maintained.  This was one of those.  


106 year-old federal style brick house.  We offered to pay for half the cost to replace the hundred and some year-old windows, no go.  We asked for the storms to be fixed and the glazing so that the big window in front or the one in the dining room did not come crashing down.  We asked for storms to replaced.  We asked for something silly like screens for our windows.  I went TWO whole weekends without a toilet - FF was on a 48, of course.  No plumber would come (because we did not own the house) and no one answered at the real estate company office (Whose name and logo I am REFRAINING from posting here).  Yeah, try that in a town where you know NO ONE and you have 4 kids.  Especially when it was because the previous tenants were passive aggressive and stuck an applesauce cup down the toilet.  Or when you blamed the tennis balls on my k9s, you know the ones that were stuffed down whatever the heck that square drain is down in the basement.  A - my pups are not allowed down in the steep basement open stairs would be bad for my old girl's hip.  B - tennis balls were put away because Willow guarded them and Bear wanted them - even though he still has no idea how to use them.  NOT FROM US.  Oh yeah, or the railings on the porch that need to be replaced, but because that would mean bringing them up to code.  Or the gutters that have totally pulled away that were going to be fixed before we moved in.  Or the ROTTING front porch that we are lucky no child has put their foot through.  Or the fact that when you flush the toilet you can hear it draining in the tub.


Now - we are moving in 12 days.  Movers are coming June 4th to get my furniture out of here.  The boxes that I never unpacked because things were so bad here, you know the ones in my 2 1/2 car garage storage unit (where the plywood has rotted away and you said you would fix before we moved in), as well as the kids' non-essentials and the boxes from said basement, they are getting moved tomorrow.  And you want me to let in a window guy to fix the window - glazing, storms and screens, I have been asking you to fix ALL FREAKING WISCONSIN WINTER  LONG?  





Sure, June 5th, feel free.

Murphy has officially moved in

And made his laws known.  


Sigh...


Sunday...lovely Mother's Day...no fanfare.  Its not my thing.  But, it might have made the day better, starting with breakfast in bed or flowers or something.


I got my lovelies, dressed and out the door before 8am.  We got donuts and called grandpa so he could see the new house.  I was SO excited to paint, as you read in Sunday's post.  I got there and nothing was ready and I mean NOTHING.  There was no way I could tape, much less paint. Now, I am not fussing.  The family we are working with for this house is a fire family and they have been amazing (and will be amazing neighbors), but I was so psyched to paint and yeah, when it did not happen, not so much.  So, we gave my dad a tour, he made his list of things I need to do - typical dad - my muppets played with the fire kids next door.  Not my ideal morning, but it was okay.  


We headed back to my dad's.  He was going to take the kids while I painted, well instead he got me as part of the package deal. I stopped at the firehouse, as my FF forgot his belt and needed me to rescue him, again. Kids played with the neighborhood kids at Grandpa's house.  Kids ate too much junk food, at Grandpa's house. Kids drank too much juice at Grandpa's house and kid #3 puked ALL OVER the table at dinner time.  Was it at grandpa's house?? NOPE, one our of favorite custard/burger joints.  Needless to say, I did not get my free custard Sunday night.  Ran to Wal-Mart after cleaning up the puke covered girl and table.  Got a new outfit for D.  I was NOT going to drive all the way home smelling puke.  NO WAY, NO HOW, NUH UH!


D was fine after puking up all the junk.  And very contrite.  I felt so saddened when she came into my room Monday morning to apologize for ruining my Mother's Day.  I assured her she did not, that she just gave me stories to tell for years to come.  All part of mommyhood.


Monday, I worked hard and found the best deal for trucks for moving.  Hubby is supposed to be moving boxes on Tuesday (today).  Yeah, well, at the end of the school day Monday, he sends me a text to call him. He's not ready.  He did not get guys lined up - after all he gave them 36 hours notice. <eyeroll> He was not ready and was cancelling the truck.  Oh yeah, and all that leg work I did with the movers, he doesn't want to move that weekend either, maybe the following or week after.  (AFTER I got an email from our leasing company for the house we are currently in, the tenant they had lined up to take over our lease fell through and the next in line tenant can't move in until July so we are on the hook for another grand+ in rent for June.  Just good news, after good news, after good news.)


So, poor hubby caught the wrath of frustration that was just oozing out of my pores at this moment.  He even got yelled at because his uncle called me during class, AGAIN.  Not sure how that was his fault, but clearly at that moment, he was the fall guy. 


Did I mention that it is Prom Week and I had JUST gotten done with the court announcements?


AND parents are fussing for their kids' final exam projects early.  I am giving them TWELVE DAYS to get them done.  Really people??  


AND my hubby double booked today so I am flying solo with the kids' concert tonight.  O is never fun at evening events.  She is just too tired.  I need two sets of hands.


Yeah, so I figure my sanity will be back after I get home at SIX O'CLOCK SUNDAY MORNING!  And get some sleep in.  Be patient with me until then...

Movers

This will be the first move of nearly a half dozen since 1997, in which we use a moving company.  I come from a family of movers, so we have straps and pads and hand trucks and appliance dollies and experience.  But, my grandfather is no shape to move anything, although I am certain he will still feel compelled to supervise and my dad just does not like waking up like he is a hundred years old the next day.  In August, my dad packed the truck and my husband got some guys to help us load and unload.  My dad will still probably help supervise, now that I have a Saturday date, but I am going to relieve him of any heavy lifting.


The fun began with quotes - this is for furniture only.  Some places are quoting 8 hours - I don't see 8 hours worth of stuff, especially not from professional movers.  I just don't. Plus they charge for stairs, both ways. And it is getting pricey.  So, I found a group of guys called Starving Artist Movers.  Just as the name implies.  They sound so much more reasonable.  I am hoping to hear back from them today. their quote was 5-6 hours. They use  a 15 passenger van for smaller moves and rent a U-Haul for larger (which means I don't have to do it!).  They rent the truck, pick it up, pack it up and unload it for nearly half the costs.  Plus, so many of my friends are staying true to their art, where the rest of us left it aside for "real" jobs, how can I not look to it.


I will get a final quote after school today.  Then check with my hubby.  I will let you know if we go with them and how it goes.  If all goes well, they will get a total free, glorious review from me, hoping to send a bit more business their way.  Small companies are definitely an asset to our communities.


Is it June yet??

Moving...Again

<Sigh>


I hate moving.  I hate the disruption of my routine.  I hate that I can't find ANYTHING.  I hate living in one place while my stuff is in the other. I hate it.  AND, I hate moving with children.  I have not yet recovered from our move last August.  Can you blame me?  It has only been NINE months and we are moving again.  Two adults (one being a history teacher with her own personal library), FOUR kids (two age 5 or younger, which means TONS of toys) and two BIG dogs.  On the bright side, there were SO many issues with this house, I protested unpacking and so there is a 2 1/2 car garage storage unit full of boxes - like bursting at the seams.


Now, I am SO EXCITED to live in the new house. The boys will each have their own rooms.  The yard is already fenced in.  I have paint colors already picked out!  BEST part, we are right next to another fire family and we hit it off BEAUTIFULLY.   I can't wait to spend summer with them.  Our kids get along great.  I am excited.


Can I just skip the rest of May?  Skip the packing and the moving and the "Honey, have you seen the________________________?" that comes with this.  Can I skip the senioritis that is SO in full swing and my juniors thinking they are already top dog?  Can I skip finals and grades?  PLEASE???


FINE!  I'll be a grown-up and just do what needs to be done, just not with a smile!


So, tomorrow, here is the list of things to pack...

• Tupperware, that is not absolutely necessary
•  Girls' toys and stuffed animals - tower o' toys,princess dresses, books that are not still packed from last move, 2 babies per girl and pillow pets will be left for sanity's sake
• Boys' toys
• Stemware
• Cookbooks

Hopefully, this will be the case!

Not really much, but as I look around, there's not much to pack.  I never got this house settled.  It was never truly home. 

So, I am indeed looking forward to the next chapter, just not the dirty work to get there.  I think we might even splurge and get a mover for the furniture and appliances.  That will make life easier for my hubby, seeing as I still have school until the end of the month.  It takes some of the burden off of his shoulders.

And, once we are done, I can enjoy the summer rather than having to get back to school with boxes all over my house!