I Could Never Be a FF

I know that for certain.  Not because of the physical aspects - I could train for that.  Not because of my fear of dying - I have overcome that before.  Not because of the heartbreaking scenes you see on every shift - I taught in inner-city public schools for 13 years, I have seen more than I can ever share.  I know I could not be a firefighter simply because I don't do politics well.  My mouth is too big, my temper to short.  I am the stereotypical hot headed redhead.  I would live a miserable life in a firehouse, possessing a quick-witted, but sharp tongue.  Combine that with my fiery disposition and you have an explosion waiting to happen!


I have tamed my temper as the years have gone by.  I have learned that I can't always speak my opinion.  I can't always fix what angers me with the world.  But some of the stories I have heard and the scenes I have witnessed, truly make my blood boil.  I can't believe some days, that these are grown men.  I feel as though I am dealing with the 8th grade, maybe the freshmen boys at work.  "Sorry, you can't eat at our with us today.  You switched your schedule and took that other class."   Even at the 9/11 memorial, which was so beautiful, this was evident.  I just can't stand it.  I demand more from my kids at work and here I find adults behaving so poorly, my kids would be offended.  I just don't have the patience for it.

This is not place to discuss specifics and I have been taught not to complain without a solution.  So, here is my solution - GROW UP!  Not everyone looks at the world with the same eyes you do.  Not everyone comes from the same places you do.  Focus on building everyone's skills and teamwork, just in case, God forbid, it should ever truly be tested.  That is so much more efficient that breaking it down.  I wouldn't want to go into a burning building with some of these comments going through my head.

That being said, my husband feels more fulfilled, even with some of these instances, than he ever did with 12 years in a classroom.  He feels he is making a world of a difference, one patient, one home at a time.  And that is why he does bite his tongue and work his arse off.  And for that, I respect him more than he will ever know.

Never Forget

The Milwaukee Fire Department honored the 343 firefighters that lost their lives trying to save those who were trapped after the hijacked planes hit the twin towers.  They held a silent memorial, had turnout gear with the names of every one of the 343 lined up on the apron of Engine 2 for 343 minutes.  The honor guards from MFD and North Shore FD were there.  It was a very moving sight.  I really have no words.

But, what struck me the most was when I found my husband's gear.  At first, I snickered at the fact that his 'Probationary' shield was on his helmet.  (They just recently decided all cubs had to use that shield in lieu of their regular one, so close to the end of their cub year.) Then the reality of it struck me.  That was my husband's gear, in the fallen firefighter formation.  I am not supposed to see his gear like that - ever.  And yet, here it was. With the name of Firefighter Paul Gill, from Engine 54 on his helmet.

Firefighter Paul Gill was 34 when he made the ultimate sacrifice.  He was 34 and became a firefighter later in life, like my husband. FF Gill was an artist, a carpenter, a son, a father who  left behind two boys and a Hero.

FF Paul Gill

April 11, 1967 - September 11, 2001

You have NOT been forgotten!

We will NEVER forget!

http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/129631413.html

A Memory Frozen in My Mind

We all remember where we were, what we were doing, how our breath was taken away.  That moment is forever frozen in our minds.

Please, take a moment from your busy lives to remember

Those who lost their lives.

Those who gave their lives. 

Those whose lives will never be the same.

We remember.

We will NEVER forget!

Your sacrifices will never be forgotten. 

Makes your heart melt

We all know how crazy things get when the firefighter is working and you are home alone, making sure the ships stays righted. But, then you have to take a step back and look at who else is involved with this cruise.  The muppets.


Tomorrow Daddy comes home.  Our firefighter has been working 48s.  He is paying back trades from when D needed surgery and O was in the hospital and I had to work, but the kids did not have school.  So he is pulling a lot of 3 out of 4 shifts.  He is working 72 out of 96 hours.  I think we have one more.  It makes my life crazy...but also the kids' lives.


Tomorrow is also one of the most important days of the year.  13 years ago I married the love of my life, in a beautiful music filled ceremony.  9 years ago I brought another love of my life into this world.  I spent my anniversary going through the roughest of my 4 deliveries.  I will spare you the details, but I remember them vividly.  And it was all worth it.


Today, while I am folding laundry to pack, B came up to me.  "Mom, I am getting the best birthday present tomorrow." Me, "Oh yeah, how do you know?" B,  "Cause Daddy can only work 48 hours in a row by law."  I had to grab him and hug him, he made my heart melt.  The kids miss him when he is gone, too.  B - thank you for reminding me.  Happy Birthday, baby.  You were the best anniversary gift I could have ever asked for!

Glasses

Glasses are a huge part of our daily lives.  "D, where are your glasses?"  Shrug of the shoulders.  "O, where did you put your "eyes"?" Shocked look - "Someone STOLE them!"  (In terribly adorable toddler speak!) "B, please go find your glasses - NOW!" With a goofy grin in response.  We have had three kids in glasses for a few years now.  You would think we have this down to a science, but sadly, we do not.  D's glasses were eaten by the monster under the bed.  With all of this packing, I have yet to come across them.  B's glasses were destroyed and O can't live without hers - snot, smudges and all. Solution - eye exams and new glasses.

I made the appointments - all three back to back.  I was smart this year - I did it when J was off!  Last year, they put us in the last appts. of the day - ending at 8:30 pm (not smart with a 2 year-old!).  And of course, it was while J was in the academy - don't think he was home even after we got home from that traumatic experience.  We did the exams this afternoon and that was AMAZINGLY smooth - even the Doc was surprised at how well it went.

Then came the hard part - ordering the glasses.  First crisis - D doesn't need them anymore, her astigmatism has corrected.  Sounds good, right?  WRONG!!  She had the most adorable glasses picked out and was HEARTBROKEN that she was not going to be able to get them.  NOT FUN!  B's eyes have gotten even WORSE.  And O's are still pretty far off from one another - one being significantly worse than the other. Then, came the ineptitude of ordering them.  I have vision insurance.  It should not be this hard.  But instead, the lady - not sure of her title - pushes me to go for their in-store special.  Never running it through my insurance.  When I point that out, she does the math - WRONG - and is a bit insulted that I questioned her judgement.  REALLY?? I requested their scripts - and that fell on deaf ears.  I left SO frazzled.  We got home and I started looking for another place to buy the kids glasses.  I do, call them.  Give the girl a heads up, tell her she will have to call for the prescription and we head in.

By this time we are nearing the witching hour.  O is DONE trying on glasses.  B just wants to be his usual chatty self.  The girl  at the 2nd Optical Center can't get anyone from the first to give her the prescriptions - after being accidentally hung up on - TWICE - there is a refusal to answer the phone on the end of the original store.  It is MISERABLE.  We get a pair for each picked out and Brittany - the lovely patient girl in the optical dept - says go home, I will call them and then call you.

We get home, get the 2 muppets fed - yes, they had not had the chance to eat through all of this craziness.  Get the girls to bed, the phone rings.  She will have to call me in the morning - out of spite, the girl at the original place got the approval from the insurance - which she told me she "could not get" with her computer program, hence the suggestion of their program.  It would have to wait until morning.  SOOOO, we are going back in tomorrow.  With just O.  I have some glasses picked out, but it was too hard to tell if I liked them or not.  We'll try it again.

My Crazy Life

Things have been absolutely CRAZY around here. Sorting, packing, loading, unloading. Just NUTS. Last night we had some nasty t-storms roll through and somehow I ended up with a child next to me, I thought about banishing her back to her realm, but no.  It is kind of refreshing to have her just BE here with me.  Woke me up early, but that is okay.  I have missed the cyberworld.  It has been nice.  No tea parties, not packing, not playing with Strawberry Shortcakes - just being.  Today, my FF goes to work.  My oldest and youngest will be hanging out with me.  I think we will find the kitchen, pick up the family room and the dining room and then just chill.  There is laundry to be done - A TON of it!  I am SOOOOOO behind on laundry.  I might try and sneak some of that in, too. J works a 48 this weekend as well, I am certain I will be pulling my hair out over that by Sunday - especially with all that laundry calling my name.  But through all of this craziness, I think we have forgotten to just BE.  That is my goal for today. JUST BE!

Tomorrow - back to the craziness....

It is NEVER the answer

I just got a Facebook message from a teacher, who was originally in J's class at the academy.  His wife, is friends/co-workers, with the mom of some former students of mine.  He let me know that one of the girls took her own life last week.  My heart sank.  My kids have hardly recovered from the suicide of one of their own over a year and a half ago, and now we lost another. The surviving sister, took her friend's suicide, hard.  I cannot even begin to think of what this will do, knowing it was her own sister.

Please know suicide is never the answer, there is always another way.  Everyone, please let your friends and family know that you love them, especially if they are having a rough time with life.  The simplest gestures have the biggest impact.

Cookie, take care of her...

Nothing like having life come at you ubber fast!

WOW! I just feel like someone hit the fast forward button, but doesn't actually know how to use the remote.  My last post was a tribute to my Curly boy, the vet brought him home a few days ago.  I am odd that way.  All of our dogs are cremated and brought home with us.  They will all be buried with me.  Some people think it is crazy, which is why I don't ask their opinions.  His beautiful urn should be here today.  I feel like a slacker because I didn't have it when he came home.  But the last service our vet used sent them home in a beautiful rosewood case.  This service, however, did a paw print and curl clipping - that was sweet.

The day after my last post, I left for Memphis for a 1 to 1 Laptop Conference.  It was GREAT!  Some presenters were stronger than others, but overall, it really got the batteries recharged.  One of the other teachers - we both came from the same school district and were new this year - we really have plans going for the conference next year and a student mentoring program.  It was great!

Beale Street was also the best medicine.  I LOVED going out every night.  The music was great.  Adult conversation was needed.  It made it so much easier to come home and deal with life.  I hate to say it, but the timing could not have been better.  J did not have to do the heartbreaking alone and I did not have to feel guilty because I did not say good-bye.  I am still not sleeping well - I had the same thing when we put our Riley boy down, but I am hoping that I will be so bust that I won't be able to NOT sleep!

So, my flight came in at 9pm and 12 hours later, we were signing the papers for our new house.  The bedrooms are bigger, there is a living AND a dining room.  I don't have to turn one into the other to fit my children around a table.  Best part - I am a hop skip and a jump from my school, as opposed to an hour plus!   I can't WAIT for the first to come.  They are painting and cleaning it for me as we speak.  WHICH MEANS - I have been packing this house up - ALONE.  My hubby has been working or on jury duty.  He is on day 2 of a 48.  Yesterday was CRAZY for our MFD.  Fire after fire after fire.  J did not get to sleep until after 5am.  He is compressed air today.  It was funny to hear him on the feed today.  Makes for an easy morning for him.  All of this is during the 95-105 degree days we have been having.  NOT FUN!  So, my hubby will be able to sleep tomorrow when he gets home, the muppets are going with me to hang out at my dad's house.  Dad is working, so he won't be bugged by the crew and daddy can sleep for the morning.

I am back to packing and trying to sell of my hubby's classroom off so we don't have to move that with us!

Happy Friday.  I think my hubby will be able to help me after he gets a nap in tomorrow.  Wish me luck!

My Curly Q

It is 3am. I just came off of 42 hours without sleep, you would think that I would be out like a light.  Instead, I am laying here in bed, wide awake, with a nasty headache feeling heartbroken.

We are dog people, through and through.  They are such a part of our lives.  Last night we lost an amazing part of our life.  We lost our Curly.  Mind you, this is my self pity, my greediness coming through.  But, it was his 18th birthday. :(  He made it to 18 - how many goldens can say that?

New Year's Eve - 2002
He instantly fit in with our pack!

Curly was our last GRRoW adoption.  Aside from our female golden, all of our k9 units have come through rescues.  I don't need a cute little ball of fluff to fall in love.  A simple wagging tail and pair of big brown eyes should suffice.  Curly was one of special needs adoptions.  I ALWAYS seem to go for poor pup with the most heartbreaking sad story.  Riley was one of those and then came Curly. Curly was a 9 year-old golden - with a beautiful red curly coat.  He was deathly afraid of loud noises - fireworks and t-storms and the like (a fear which I got him to get over!).  He ran off during the 4 of July celebrations of 2002 .  When they found him, he was heartworm positive.  One treatment is hard enough, Curly needed, and amazingly, survived two.
                                                                                He was amazing right from the start.  His foster mom even tried to scare us off with how much work he would be.  (I have to call her and let her know.) He really wasn't much work at all - no hard food, if he got a hold of any, you had to dig it out of his throat.  Ewwww.  So, we made Curly Shakes.  Curly out-lived, I don't know how many blenders!  Curly had a misshapen throat, it was at a 90 degree angle AND he had mega-esophagus - essentially, he couldn't swallow properly.  In December of 2008, he was diagnosed with Stomach cancer that had spread to his liver and lungs.  We prayed that he would make it through the holidays.  He did, and two more sets after that.

Curly just wanted to be loved and to give love.  He worked in both of our classrooms.  With J's classes, it was "Curling up with a Good Book" where reluctant readers would read to him.  In my classes, the goldens just hung out. One of my biggest, bad-a$$ thugs would make sure he was in school - in my class - when Curly was there.  He reached some of those kids in ways I could only imagine.  (I will get some of those pictures on here once I get into my classroom and bring them home.)

J brought up the recliner in the middle when I was pregnant with O
It gave me a change of venue from the couch.
You can see who was making use of it.

I can also say that he and I had a very special connection.  Without any training, he became a seizure dog.  Curly could tell before I knew that my seizures were coming, big or small, he knew.  He would come, nose at me and bug me until I sat down.  When my seizures were 100s per week, this was not a small feat.  It took me a bit to realize what was going on.  Not sure if it was the change in electrical energy he picked up on or perhaps there is a scent - no clue.  But my Curly boy knew.  We were bonded in a way that I have not experienced in all my life of k9s.  He got me through some rough times, just by hanging out with me.  He just knew.

A few months ago, I woke up to a horrible sight at 12am - Curly having a violent seizure.  It was a Blue shift, I was all alone and up for the rest of the night.  Curly lost his sight for a bit that night, was scared out of his mind and paced up and down the halls.  We got him on some meds, but the vet was very clear - seizures this late in life are never good, it is a sign of major neuro issues, not simple k9 epilepsy, which we were already familiar with.  Curly's seizures were violent and draining and all but one came in the middle of the night.

Wednesday night was one of those nights.  He woke me up with a violent thud - as he propelled himself off my bed.  I ran and got the ice packs, got those placed on his lower back (not sure why, but it helps shorten the duration of the sz.).  When he came to, I got him his vanilla ice cream (helps revive the blood sugar) - this time he wasn't interested.  Not a good sign.  We would repeat this at 2am, 3am, 4am and at 5am he started clustering.  As soon as my Curly would come back from a seizure, it would suck him back in.

I was so tired, so scared and so alone.  I got the kids up, my oldest got everyone fed so I could stay with my Curly Q and the boys went off to the day camp program in the neighborhood.  I was so thankful when J came home.  We called the vet and had the talk.  It was time.  Today was Curly's 18th birthday.  I guess he just had to make it to that milestone!  We celebrated with a peanut butter and vanilla ice cream shake during one of his more clear moments of the day.  Not the k9 party I had planned for the day, but we celebrated his life as we prepared for his passing.

Hangin' out with Willow after we lost Riley.  It hit him hard. :(

Dr. Waters is an amazing vet.  We have been with her, essentially since she graduated from vet school.

 She left the clinic where we met and opened up a mobile vet practice.  She comes to the house with her specially equipped RV and is wonderful.  This is especially appreciated when it comes time for everyone's annual check up.  Try holding on to two 70+lbs. k9s and a 120 lbs. ball of fluff while other dogs come and go.  NO FUN!  She was able to make it out last night.  I am especially appreciative, at times like these, to not have to walk out to the waiting room like a blubbering idiot, after saying good-bye.  We discussed if this was the right time - if there was anything else.  Dr. Waters simply said, "If he was mine, it would be time."  She will bring him home to us next week.

We called him the grandpa dog - his age, his personality, his love,
his patience - all made him who he was.

I am ETERNALLY grateful that J made a trade a few months ago.  It sucked having to go through all the seizures by myself, but it would have sucked so much more, having to say good-bye to Curly alone.  It was after all, a Blue shift.  J was supposed to be working.

Curly will be missed like crazy.  I can't sleep because he is not curled up in the crook of my legs and his collar is simply not enough.  There are a lot of tears in our house right now, but the joyous moments definitely outweigh any amount of tears.  Goodbye Curly Q. Your pawprints are tattooed on my heart. I know Riley was waiting for you on the other side of the rainbow bridge.  I will see you guys again someday.  Look for me.

Curly
July 7, 1993 - July 7, 2011

Independence Day

The Blue Shift is notorious for hitting holidays - not sure what it is and the Fourth of July is not different.  For me, that was okay.  The big fireworks in our area are on the 3rd, so we could go out on the lake and watch the fireworks.  Life was good.  Then a last minute family picnic came up, with my hubby family is first.  So, I was a bit saddened.  I love fireworks.  Not sure why, I just do.  I think J knew that, even if I didn't say anything.  He made good.  The opening night of Summerfest is the Big Bang, probably just as big, if not bigger than our 3rd of July fireworks.  We took the sailboat out, dropped anchor and enjoyed the lake while waiting for the light show to begin.  Daddy hailed the Trident and got to show off his fireboat to his kids and his sailboat to his colleagues, it was a win/win a that moment.  And AMAZINGLY, all 4 kids stayed awake and were BEAUTIFUL for the fireworks. 

Yesterday was the family gathering - the muppets had fun.  Family got to bond.  And my FF still found me some fireworks - with a nice view, on our drive home. Today, my firefighter is off to keep the world safe from themselves and the scary combination of booze and gunpowder.  He took care of his family and now he is taking care of others. It is his willing sacrifice for the community he serves.

Freedom Isn't Free

So, as you celebrate, grill, drink, enjoy the various light shows - please remember what it is we are celebrating.  We are celebrating freedom from tyranny and oppression.  Freedom from taxation without representation - our voice deserves to be heard, no matter how quiet.  Freedom to practice our beliefs without persecution.  Freedom to love and associate with whomever we choose.  Freedom to live, work, study, wherever our lives and talents take us.  And most of all, please remember that freedom is never free.  There are sacrifices which must be made - sometimes the ultimate sacrifice - all for the greater good.  Take a moment to remember that the Continental forces took on the supreme power of the age and WON!  But, not without cost.  There were lives and limbs lost to battle and weather, to hunger and disease - all to ensure that future generations would be heard.  Please be sure to remember and to be thankful.  Thankful to those who won us our Independence and  those who continue to fight for that Independence.

So, instead of Happy 4th of July, how about Happy Independence Day!

Acceptance

It is a nice place for a FireWife to be.  Especially when so much craziness, frustration, sometimes tears and heartbreak lead up to it.  My path to acceptance, luckily, has not come out of tragedy.  Simply self-preservation.  I have officially accepted  that life will not settle down.  My hubby, no matter how much he swears he'll get more done on his off days, simply won't.  My children will never voluntarily help out around the house without request and a bit (or a lot) of prodding.  Just the way life is.  So...after a few weekends of pulling my hair out, I think I am finally in a good place.  Some nights dinner will just have to be frozen pizza.  Sometimes when the kids want to have friends over, I will simply answer with a question - is your room clean?  The family room?  Sometimes when the kids all want to do something different, it is okay to say no and be guilt free.  When my FF can't find his clothes for work the morning of, I will ask him if they were put in the laundry basket.  That will simply be the answer.  Some days the laundry will simply have to wait - today is one of those days. It will still be there tomorrow when my FF makes his way home from E2.  He can do the heavy lifting for my sad lower back.  Some days, it is okay to just breathe.  Even though I am a FireWife, it is okay to NOT be a super heroeveryday.  It is okay just to be.                                                                           

So, that is what this morning was for me.  Luckily, my toddler is awesome at entertaining herself - it was a tea party in her room, with babies and reluctant k9s as guests, most of the morning.  The Three Stooges are up at the neighborhood school for the day camp, I believe today they are hanging out at the water park at Hoyt Park - could there be a more perfect day for that?  Me?  I am simply catching up with friends, reading the paper with Pandora in the background and breathing.  Mind you - I am indeed following O's movements so that my house doesn't totally explode.  I also have our 3 K9s plus a BIG rottie from across the street hanging out with us.  It is far too hot for them to be outside, so I have four rather LARGE shadows as I move from room to room.   I don't want to lull you into any idea that my house is quiet and calm by any stretch just, just less stressed.  This afternoon I am going to work on some curriculum, while O naps.

Next week is still crazy, J's family is getting together on the 3rd - was not on my radar until recently, he works the 4th, the 5th he is helping his sister unpack/move, he works the 6th and the 7th and I leave town for a conference in Memphis on the 9th.  Things are still crazy.  I am looking forward to leaving my hubby with the muppets for 5 days, as awful as that is to say.

Have a safe and festive holiday weekend, if you are in the States.  Remember the premises our country was built upon and lives that have been lost defending those ideal.  Thank a vet and take a moment to remember those who will never have the opportunity to be thanked for their sacrifices.  Happy 4th of July!

A Sign to Slow Down

We all have them - those signs that say the stress of
life is getting to be too much.  Mine started Friday night. We had some things to get done.  I took care of someone to watch the kids.  Met my husband's uncle did what needed to be done and waited for my husband to meet us from the track.  Once we got my hubby's opinion on the stuff we needed, the three of us went to dinner.  After dinner, while we were chatting - that feeling came over me and I could not join in the conversation, I just couldn't talk.  I started to feel paranoid that they were talking about me and heard a few voices that I am not sure were there.  No, not schizophrenia, just a complex partial seizure.  It is my sign that I am stressed out and worn out beyond what my brain can handle.  My last seizure was a tonic clonic in January of 2009 - while I was driving home from work.  SCARY!  Luckily it was just me and a light pole, Thank God! (True story, my husband's current LT was on that accident and remembered it.  MFD is such a small little world.  So embarrassing! What are ya gonna do?)  J was at the doctor's office, boys were still at school and girls were still at the sitters - can you say guardian angel!) But literally, NOTHING since then.  It has been nice.  All of this from a fever at three-  AYE!  So, since the race weekend is done, my FF opted OUT of tire testing yesterday and spent it with me.  He took me to breakfast.  Life was nice.  We had a meeting, helped some friends unpack now that they are FINALLY getting back in their house after a a Labor Day fire.  We had dinner with my dad and brother's family to celebrate my dad's birthday and we came home and tucked the muppets in.  I think I needed a day like that.


I have mesial temporal sclerosis.  There is scarring in my brain from a febrile convulsion at the age of 3 - dx at the age of 27, after a 27 minute tonic-clonic seizure.  My brain is fried.  Luckily - if you can say that - it happened early enough in my life that my brain rewired itself and I have the ability to live a normal life.  I do have some nominal aphasia - the word gets stuck on the tip of my tongue - A LOT.  I do have issues with short term memory - I have used a Palm PDA since 2002, now my Droid and the Cozi app do the job.  I use sticky notes and take copious notes at work on conversation with parents, at meetings, etc.  All things that are manageable.  I have had 6 t/c sz - I think - in the last 9 years. 

I have been spoiled.  Usually my big seizures come when I am over tired, stressed out and there is a strong lightning storm.  (Don't ask about the storm, I don't know.  We think it might be something with the barometric pressure.)  So, I am taking this as my sign that it is time to relax about things and just enjoy my kids and the summer - BEFORE I do have a t/c sz.  So - today - the three stooges headed up to the school in the neighborhood for the day camp program with their friends.  I am just going to chill with O - it is one of those foggy, rainy, yucky kinds of a day. My FF is back at work today, so since it is one of those foggy, rainy, yucky kinds of a day, we are going to turn it into one of those lazy, Netflix and popcorn kinds of days. My brain told me in no uncertain terms that I have overextended myself and need to fix that.  I intend to do just that.

Kiss your firefighters, hug your kids and take time to admire the world around you!

The Mile...Finally

Racing is in my blood. I was literally almost born at the track.  It is simply a part of my family's DNA.  My dad is the Asst. Safety Director for the Milwaukee Mile.  I watched drivers exploded out of anger and throw their helmets, cracking them.  I have seen hits to the wall that take your breath away.  I have seen drivers who should be role models, make little girls cry at autograph sessions - that is a tale for another day.  My dad started on the fire crew in the pits and has worked his way on up.  J has been a bit envious.  Policy states that to work on the Safety crew - you must be emergency personnel.  So, now you have it.  My husband is officially a FF and and EMT - that makes him emergency personnel, which makes him eligible to work at the track.  His Lt. from the academy has also joined him this summer. They have done racing school, practice, tire testing and now - race weekend is upon us.  The Indy cars are here for the Milwaukee 225.  And J is now part of that world. One more fire suit, one more set of tools. J is a happy guy! Let's go racing!!

Can you tell Daddy's gone?

J just left for work this morning and you can already tell it is going to be one of those weekends.  He is not working for the department, but for my dad.  My dad is the Asst. Safety Director for the Milwaukee Mile and J has been jonesing to work at the Mile for a good 10-15 years.  He was always told, sorry you have to be a FF or an EMT.  Now he is both!  So, his first race of the year is upon us.  J will go to the track straight from work tomorrow morning, come home tired tomorrow, just to repeat it early on Saturday.  He will be wiped out.  BUT, our children may not live...

Can ya tell Daddy is gone??  I think I am going to have to take the door off the hinges, I can't get a screwdriver in there at the proper angle to get any amount of torque on the screws that are somehow IN FRONT of the door knob.

In the immortal words of Bill Cosby...."The beatings will NOW BEGIN!"  Is it Sunday, yet??


PART DEUX!
We can tell Daddy is still not back.  This AM it took me around an hour to get that door pulled back through.  I thought for sure it was going to have to come off its hinges, but I got it.  Now, I went to  run to the store to grab some black suspenders for J's fire suit for the track and LO AND BEHOLD - my keys are missing.  I can't get into my car.  Cherry on top of this sundae, you ask???  They locked the other key to my car - they think, in my trunk as well.  SOOOOO....in 2 hours, or so,  after $140 payment, a locksmith will come out to make me a new key - so we have a 3rd one around.  And hopefully, I will find the other 2 in my trunk -resting peacefully from the chaos of this Fire Family.  It might take my FF more than his beloved 2 1/2 to calm this fire.  I can only shake my head, anything else would be a fruitless waste of energy.  There is really nothing else that can be done, but to wait.


EPILOGUE:
So, as of 3pm on Father's Day - 6/19 - all keys have reappeared.  My "whole world on a ring" keys were in the boys' laundry basket - in their bedroom.  You know, the basket of clothes they were supposed to have put away 2 days ago basket?  Yeah, that one.  No clue how that happened.  My other loose key for my car reappeared behind the Saltwater tank.  Don't ask me, I have NO FREAKIN' IDEA!  Other than that.  My FF has one more day at the race track - I think for tire testing and then life can find its way back to normal. 

Some days I am such a geek...

Today is D's last day of K4.  Today is our last day tied to the neighborhood school that J taught in for 10 years, that has given an academic start to 3 of our 4 kids, that has given us many friendships - some permanent and some not so.  And what am I doing while Daddy takes D to her last day at that school?  I am adding more Fire Wife blogs and buttons to my blog.  I should be more sentimental.  I should have taken O and we all should have walked up there and said our good-byes.  It is indeed the end of an era.  But, I am not mushy.  I am indeed - a geek.


So Fire Wives and Fire Fighters, as I am working to compile my list, if I miss yours, leave me the html code for your button or the web address for your blog.  I will swiftly add it to my list.  Feel free to grab my button from the right and add it to yours.

Off to geekdom and then to pick up my boys from the in-laws.  Wow, I miss those muppets!

Pleasant Dreams, Sleep Tight

In recent years, Milwaukee has been in the news A LOT.  Unfortunately, it is not regarding our amazing park system or wonderful zoo.  It has been for our infant mortality rate, specifically bed sharing related deaths.  In 2010 it seemed as though every time we turned around, there was another baby lost - it broke my heart every time.  We are extremely blessed - we have 4 beautiful children.  D came home on an apnea monitor, simply so I could take her home over Memorial Day weekend, before her sleep study was officially read.  I remember feeling so inconvenienced.  Silly me!  Amazing how your perspective changes.

Pleasant Dreams, Sleep Tight on
Facebook

In 2010, I started a blog - which fell to the wayside - and a Facebook page Pleasant Dreams, Sleep Tight, with the sole intention of spreading the word on safe sleep practices to be sure you keep your baby safe.  I don't know what I expected, but the continued loss of these little lives left me feeling a void in my soul.  I know it sounds odd - they're not mine, nor do I know the families.  But each time it broke my heart.  My educational pages weren't doing ANYTHING.  I felt helpless, I don't like feeling helpless.


Milwaukee participates in the Cribs for Kids programs.  It allows social workers, firefighters, etc. who notice there is no crib in a home with an infant, to provide a Pack 'n Play with educational support - free of charge.  There are income restrictions.  I have been pouring over the 2010 City of Milwaukee Fetal Infant Mortality Review (FIMR) Report- looking at the contributing factors, areas most affected, programs in place, etc.  I am looking for the statistical data to back up the anecdotal pieces floating around.  I am looking for WHAT I CAN DO!  I don't like feeling helpless, so I am not.  I am being the change I want to see in the world. 



Given our obvious ties to the fire department, I would like to work through MFD.  419 cribs were distributed in 2009.  It jumped to 1,010 in 2010.  Most of these were distributed through the fire department. There is an obvious need.  Our fire department is in the homes of our poorer communities more than just about any other agency.  To me, it seems like a perfect fit.  So, the hamster in my brain hopped on her wheel and I started thinking.  How can I make this happen?

I came across a tragic story of loss, with an inspirational story of healing and community service.  Payton Lynn left this world, a week after she joined us.  It was an accidental suffocation when her dad fell asleep holding her.  Her parents are both EMTs.  It show that NO ONE is immune.  They had gone to countless calls - just like this.  Only this time, they were making the 911 call, no answering it.  They took that energy that could have consumed them and turned it into a community serving, life giving memorial to their Angel girl.  They started a Pack 'n Play program in Austin, TX, like the one in my head.  They have paramedics, who have been trained as Safe Sleep Technicians, to implement and work with the families on safe sleeping practices upon receiving their Pack 'n Play.  I LOVE what they have done and have contacted J.J. for ideas and information.


I would like to also tie this into the service component of my class.  By the end of the year, as the service due date looms, they are all BEGGING for service experiences that they put off until the last minute.  I would be furthering my cause, expanding my message, providing lifetime experiences that will help  develop a system of values my kids will take with them into life and doing SOMETHING.  SO, here is my IDEAL situation.  Mind you, I am aware that everything in my little plan is not really feasible, but it is a starting place.  This was my organizational moment last night, after I got the girls to bed.  Here is what my brainstorming came up with.

•  IDEAL SCENARIO– Pack ‘n Plays are available to all who request them, not just those who demonstrate financial need. One on every MFD rig – as space allows and a storage place in one firehouse per battalion.  Safe sleep technicians (specially trained paramedic volunteers, perhaps???) to implement set up and education of families. Make Swaddling Blankets part of the package.
•  Corporate Partners – Continue to seek out corporate partners to make sure money is not a reason for an unsafe sleeping environment for Milwaukee infants.
•  Play Yard Drives – Do drives for new/gently used GRACO Pack N Plays – as they have only had 3 recalls since 1996.  Perhaps teaming up with one of the sports team or TV/Radio media for exposure and some sort of incentive.
• Teen service projects, including, but not limited to:

o    Fundraisers – Breath of Life Stroll – see Pittsburgh, jeans passes at school during October, wristbands, challenges issued to other schools – maybe tied to Homecoming events, singing balloon/lollipop bouquets, Sleeping baby wall – buy a spot for your baby pictures – brings attention to the issues and tugs at the heartstrings

o    Dissemination of information – print media, social networking, TV/Radio, area high schools, PSAs on YouTube

It is a start.  It makes my head stopping spinning and gives me a place to focus my attention.  I sent an email to the captain at the BIT to see what is needed and what is feasible. If working with the fire department is not possible, I do have a back up plan in my mind - but the hamster is tired.  Wish my luck, kiss your babies and give them room to breathe.

My Little O at 6 months.  Give them a chance to grow.  Sleep safe.

The Perks of Being a Fire Kid

Too often I find myself whining about Fire Life.  This blog started as almost a therapeutic journal - allowing me to sort through the confusion of this new life we have taken on.  So there was a lot of  fussin' - especially in the beginning.  As time went by, I was introduced to a support network that I could not have gotten by without - other fire wives, firefighters, paramedics - all helping me to understand this new way of life called Fire Life.  And, as the year has progressed, I have discovered there are some perks to Fire Life.  Even some for the kids.  Aside from the numerous trips to the firehouse when Daddy has been gone for 96 of the last 110 hours, there are others.  (Especially since that is just not as exciting as it was the first few times!)  One of them is the Fire Boat - the Trident!

Daddy is a sailor, once that was discovered at Engine 2, he was put on the boat team.  Which started with the very unglamorous duty of doing a complete inventory of the boat, from top to bottom.  The training has continued and he is learned that "stink boats" can be cool, too - as long as they are fire boats.  (No love for power boats in the sailing world, sorry.)  The Trident is docked at Discovery World on Lake Michigan, along with the Schooner - the Dennis Sullivan.  D had her last trip of the year at the Dennis Sullivan - a schooner  - that I helped build through many years of schooner school with my middle schoolers, I might add!  

The 4 year-old Kindergarten always takes a trip to the schooner.  Tours are given by the crew.  This years' crew was BORING!  They didn't know how to talk to 4 year-olds, would not let them touch anything, showed them the bell, but would not let them ring it - because it might confuse the crew as to what time it was <eyeroll>.  They kept asking the kids if they had questions.  Umm, yeah - "Can I ring the bell?"  You don't let 4 year-olds lead the discussion! To top that, we had periods of POURING rain.  The kids were in garbage bags because the rain was supposed to be done by then - no one had rain coats.  AYE!  Overall, they were miserable.  Engine 2 to the rescue.  Just when I thought these tiny creatures were going to revolt, I saw the boys board their boat.  I snuck over to see if they would be willing to rescue us.

We divided the kids into two groups - one class went to eat lunch while the other got the demonstration on the boat.  The all got to board the boat, got a tour and got to spray some water, one by one.  NO ONE had more fun than my D!  She was SO proud to say that it was HER Daddy that was doing all of the cool stuff.  The guys put on a water show, sprayed water, let the kids spray water.  It was a sight to be seen, especially if you are in kindergarten.  They smiled for the first time all morning!  The guys were great with the kids.  I would definitely say it was a success!  After they were done with both groups, I noticed they got a tour of the schooner as well.  Guess that is one of the perks on their end.  Do you think they admired my handy work??

 

The boys getting a tour of Dennis Sullivan

D - the Fire Girl with her Daddy!

Can you truly ever take the
teacher out of his classroom?