Saturday, October 21, 2017

Long Time, No See

I bet you think I forgot about you.

I bet you think that I didn't need you anymore. I told you I was too busy for you right now.

I forgot my password. 

I know. I am so very sorry.

Neglectful.

I bet you don't even remember me.

Funny how “Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.” (Shakespeare)

And back I am.

I am writing a terribly difficult blog post in my head. I need to get it out of my head. It won't leave me alone.  I need to get it out.

Just like I needed this blog to figure out how to be married to a firefighter, after marrying a fourth grade teacher. (Okay. SO not true. I married a student teacher.)  Apparently, I need you again to process.  Sorry that I only use when I need you. I am so very sorry, truly.

I need to get it out of my head.

He is now at the academy, and that is a blog post in and of itself.  Funny how you leave education, or you think you do. More like the Hotel California, you can never leave.  It will find you. He is now a Lieutenant. My oldest is now a senior and my youngest is a budding artist that will most assuredly never leave the house.  I started a photography business. I built a TARDIS (don't judge). Time has flown.

And yet, I need you,

Today, now that he has had that horrible flip-phone with a 90s ring, he is jumping out of bed to head to a three alarm.  Volley wives. You are rock stars. After that he will be the Med at the Mile.  But the kids and I.  We are cleaning up the house and heading off to the Pumpkin Farm.

I need to get this blog post out of my head.

But first I need some sunshine and rainbows.  First, I need to front-load the world with hope and silliness. First, I need my kids.

Then we'll begin the tough dialogue.  Then we'll begin to process.

I need happiness before I process.

No one gets to judge.

I need to remind myself that it will be okay.  That I will be okay. That we will be okay.

But I need to get that damn post out of my head. It is loud. It is distracting. It needs to go SOMEWHERE else. Any where else.  But first I need my family.





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