Thursday, January 31, 2013

Too Soon??

My hubby has been home with a sick little girl for the whole week.  He decided, even though I was unsure, that she should go back today.  He has been with her. I spent most of last night locked in my bedroom for the chat on Fire Engineering Talk Radio last night.  He fed her, he got her to bed, he did her breathing treatments - he would know.

But when I dropped her off, I don't know.  And now my juniors just brought over her tutu that she was wearing for career day.  She didn't want it anymore.  I will probably be getting her soon.  Just a gut feeling.  Which means that everyone will be coming home, too.  They will be happy and I will feel better.  I wish she was in our building so I could check on her.  Ah well.  The saga of being a momma working away from home. 

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

FFW on Fire Life

Listen to internet radio with fireengineeringtalkradio on Blog Talk Radio

Tonight Lori, the owner of FFW had the opportunity to speak about the roller coaster on Fire Engineering Talk Radio with Mike Gagliano and his lovely bride, Annie.  (You can check them out at  It was an amazing experience!  It was also a GREAT opportunity for us to start a conversation about what this crazy life is like on the other side of the bunker gear - the side that is keeping the home fires burning while our FFs are putting out fires (literal and not so) all shift. 

And, in typical Fire Wife Fashion, Mike's server crashed and Lori never missed a beat.  If you have a moment, take a listen.  Send it on.  And now, after being up since before 2am, I am going to allow myself to crash for the night.  

Thanks again to Mike for having us and to Lori for including me.  A special shout out to my FF - he kept the muppets from crawling under the crack under the bedroom door and the k9s from putting an all dog alert in place.  He got them fed and in bed for me.  He is amazing.

I am off to kiss my FF and CRASH.  Once again, Happy Wednesday.  Two more days to go and the weekend will be here!  Hug your muppets and show your FF some love.  Be sure to give them the props they deserve when they go above and beyond like mine did.

The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways

That was what my mom told me this AM.

I have been up with our sick youngest since 1:57 AM.  She came in complaining that her head hurt and had a RAGING fever.  I am telling you, I cannot fight this fever off to save my soul. It keeps on a coming and kicking her little butt.  Three breathing treatments a day, kiddie Afrin and trying to get her to eat and drink...still not working. 

So, I took her out to the living room where we watched TV for a bit and she finally dozed off shortly before 4am.  That allowed me to doze...until I had a really weird dream that one of my English teachers from HS (whom I also worked with) kept bumping into us while belly dancing when we were laying on the couch.  I jumped up to turn on the light and tell her to be careful, I realized that she was not really there.  VERY weird.  I will have to tell her about it later today.  Anyway, then my lovely FF set my son's iPod to QUACK just before I normally get him up, but unfortunately he had a tirade earlier in the week that got it taken away from him and it woke me up instead - in a state of FRIGHT!!

My FF was amazing in getting the oldest three stooges up and ready, making sure dogs were fed and lunches made. I calmed my sad little girl who can't go on the school trip to Jump America today.  And we made our way to school, in the rain and dreariness that has started our day.  I really don't remember much of the ride down - which in and of itself, is really quite scary!! But, nonetheless, we got here safe.

And, for those of you who do not believe in Divine Intervention, have I got a story for you!

So, zombie morning = need for caffeine.  I am a Coke drinker - it is my happy juice of choice.  Straight up, non diet, high fructose corn syrup Coke.  BUT, New Year, New You...I am trying to cut back on the pop as much as possible.  Which SUCKS on days like this.  So, instead of my usual Coke jump-started mornings, I have been drinking Mio flavored water - lots of it.  However, this morning one of my students brought Starbucks in for me.  I don't drink coffee.  She knows that, so she brought me a Grande Java Double Chocolate Chip Frappacino.  I almost passed on it, after all, I don't drink coffee. (Think of the joke with the guys during the flood, who passes on the row boat, the cruise ship and the helicopter because the Lord would save him...)  Once I got the first few drinks, the coffee after taste was not so noticeable.  And for Catholic Schools Week, student council gave us a bag of Spearmint Life-Savers with "Keeping the Faith Fresh" taped to them - to fight off coffee breath after my coffee flavored caffeine exposure.

It made for a day that could have miserable, actually surprisingly pleasant.  So, when your prayer for the day starts with, "Lord, just help me get through today."  It will be answered, in the most surprising of fashions.  Like a Grande Java Double Chocolate Chip Frap and some spearmint Life-Savers.  Never saw that coming!  The Lord does work in mysterious ways, sometimes even through Starbucks!

Kiss those FFs and remind that you love them, even when they are sleeping soundly through sick kids coming downstairs and you are the one that has to get up a O'Dark Hundred to actually GO to work in the morning.  Hug your muppets, especially if they look like they have been run over by a bus.  

Yesterday, trying to get to the mid 60s, causing everything to melt, thunderstorms, mud.  Today, freezing temps and lots of pretty snow.  Tomorrow, zero and below zero wind chills.  Gotta love the weather in Wisconsin!  Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Stolen Dates

Our Engagement Picture, 1996
Lately, my hubby and I have been stealing dates.  Like leaving our oldest in charge of the ranch while we run to the grocery store.  Not only is it really nice to NOT take my children to the store, I really enjoy the time spent with my husband, even if it is at the grocery store.  I can make jokes that I can no longer make at home, because they might not go over N's head any more.  I can stick my tongue out at him without being scolded when one of the muppets sees it. We can talk and laugh and not mediate, all while grocery shopping.  We have kind of found each other again.

My Bachelor's Degree, 1997
Sometimes it is as easy as making a meal, sending the three stooges to bed and grabbing a late meal - either at home in the dining room (alone - what a luxury) or grabbing something while we were at the store or running errands.  We have been stealing lunch dates.  Other times it is as simple as talking to each other without the kids tattling or dogs barking or someone breaking something or...or...or...or...

So, when trying to spice things up, what if you simply try to find what you fell in love with in the first place.  Have fun, play games, laugh, go on dates, fall in love all over again.  Find time to be husband and wife, a couple - especially when life is causing you to go in a million bazillion different directions (here is where I get the eye-roll and "really? a million bazillion??" sarcastic remark from said husband).  Focus on finding each other and that is so easily lost.  Rediscover each other, you are not the same person that you were when you got married - life and marriage changes us.

Hug your muppets and love your FFs.  Fall in love all over again.  Smile, hold hands, laugh and love.  But don't get drunk and shoot anyone...or each other.  That just makes a mess you'll both have to clean up later.  But, goofy pictures are always fun!

Monday, January 28, 2013

Some of the Perks of this Crazy Life.

Having a sick muppet and no one has to worry about whether or not they get a sub or about putting together sub plans.  Firefighters don't have to worry about getting a replacement, if it is Monday - when it is not their shift day. And, if she doesn't perk up, there's a good chance he can get a city-owed trade for tomorrow and play Daddy all day again.

For all of the insanity, there are definitely some perks.  And today is one of those days.

Feel better baby girl.  Daddy take care of that little muppet - and use the hand sanitizer so you are not the next victim.

Everyone else, show your muppets and FFs some love and enjoy this lovely, dreary Monday.

UPDATE - FF called on his way home the MD's office - before his phone died.  O has bronchiolitis. It landed Zuzu in the hospital for a week (at a much younger age, after being blown off by Children's ER and 2 walk-in clinic docs - not that I am bitter about it, still, or anything).  So, I am glad we got it taken care of right away.  Neubulizers and more details when I get home.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

My Poor Firefighter

It was one of those know, the 24 calls in 24 hours kind of shifts.  The kind of shift where dinner is eaten in segments and completed around 10pm.  He went in early because he thought he had a drug test and wanted to get those extra 3 glasses of water he had taken in out of his system as soon as possible.  And, that was cancelled.  But, he did end up catching a run more than an hour before his shift technically started (which would have taken until well after that shift technically ended, probably better that my FF took it) and the guy on the shift ahead of him even had his gear set up for my FF when he arrived.  How's that for brotherly love!!

And it just kept going from there.

And today he has a TON on his hunney-do list.  Now, before you get too sappy about, "Oh, the poor FF.  He didn't sleep all night long.  Give him a break.  Oh, the poor, poor man."  Realize that this is indeed something that could have been done, oh I don't know, in JULY when he was playing firefighter at the race track with my dad, leaving me to unpack our house, with 4 children in the mix.  So yeah, pity won't be coming from me!!!  

Tomorrow, my oldest is turning 13.  I will have a teenager in the house from now until January of 2028.  NOW the pity party may commence.  And to celebrate this joyous milestone, we are inviting a few other newly and nearly teen-aged boys over for a sleep over - tomorrow.

Now, FF calls our house, oh so affectionately, The Ice Shanty.  He says it is no larger than those lovely little fishing shanties that inevitably get swept away on Lake Winnebago every spring.  BUT, there are 5 bedrooms (mind you one serves as a dining room) and it is a bath and a half.  So, it is not really THAT tiny.  (Although, I could use a bigger bedroom...)

However, there is some underutilized space in our house that was supposed to be organized, oh I don't know, in AUGUST, but instead...nevermind.  I digress.  

Not ours, but very similar -
sans the paddles or puck. :)
Anyway, as I was saying, there is definitely some untapped potential downstairs. Sofa, DVDS, TV, DVD player, stereo...roughing it though - no iPod dock!  And a Foosball Table and an Air Hockey Table just WAITING to be set up.  But, my FF waited soooooo long to do it, he can't find the bolts for the legs of said gaming tales (or the paddles - well one paddle, or the pucks, or the foosball).  Oh yeah, my FF also sent the Wii down there last month.  The couch for the kids is taken over by the basket of socks my FF is still refusing to fold and I am letting him, but not doing it for him. :)  And with all of those teenage boys converging on our Shanty, they need to have a space to roost. That seems to be the perfect place to send teenage long as they don't mind the train table and play kitchen...Anyway, that leads us to the urgency for my FF to get that space taken care of - by 4pm tomorrow.  Part of me does feel bad, because it was a looooooooooooooooong night.  But most of me says, well, guess it is time to pay the piper.  This could have been done six months ago.

Oh yeah, and he has a relative that was breathing down my neck about where my FF's location...he wants a toilet installed, like six months ago.  He has to do that today, too. Poor little, Fireman.  

Or not!

The weekend is almost upon us.  I can hardly wait!  In fact, I woke up this morning thinking it WAS Friday.  I think I am just trying to skip that talk I have to give our whole staff after school today.  For someone who talks for a living, I HATE talking in front of adults.  Anyway, check up on your muppets and let them know you love them - even when they are driving to the drink of insanity.  Kiss your FFs and be a supportive force as they work to complete their hunney-do lists.  Friday is indeed on its way!  Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Idle Hands

I seem to do this every time I finish a project.  I start looking for what to do next.  I suppose, not entirely a bad thing, but sometimes I might be bordering on obsessive.  

I finished my camera bag on Sunday and now I am looking for something new.

I think I have decided on making a camera strap.  But DANGIT, most of the tutorials require a sewing machine.  <sigh>  I may have to break down and just figure it out.  Overcome my fears.  Be brave.  Suck it up, Buttercup.  Insert chosen cliche of the day here.

Or, just rely on Mod Podge and Glitter, with some pretty stones for good measure like this one from  That is ALWAYS a possibility!!!

Happy half way to Friday-day.  My FF is on shift - I can hit the DVR.  My muppets are going a bit stir crazy from the subzero weather.  My laundry is done - only two loads to fold.  Life is indeed good!  Kiss your FFs and tell them you love them.  Hug your muppets and LISTEN to them.

Monday, January 21, 2013

My Camera Bag

Glue alleviates the need
for removing uneeded
"stitches" from my hand!
My parts and pieces of the camera bag to be came in pretty quickly.  I was Pinspired by a post on, if you recall from my post the other day.  I was going to put it together Friday, but then the boys had a friends over from the other side of the Fire Wife Compound.  By the time I walked him home it was 9:30pm, by the time I got done chatting with my FFW gal pal, it was 10:30pm.  Saturday and Sunday was more birthday celebrations.  But Sunday - later afternoon, I decided I was going to get started and complete it.  

And I did.  I made some modifications as I went.  I used fabric glue, in lieu of stitching my hand together.  I used funky flannel for my lining.  I did not use Velcro, although I had it on hand.  The nice thing is that the lack of Velcro makes it easier to adjust as I see fit, regardless of where the Velcro strips are attached.  I used memory foam for the bottom, regular foam for the end caps and dividers and quilt batting to cushion the long sides.  Instead of three main sections, I have one for my camera (with lens) and divided the other to hold 2 lenses.  

Chargers and extra batteries
My original purse has two side pockets like the original post, for holding memory cards, flash drives, batteries and chargers, and various other miscellaneous parts and pieces.   

Memory cards, flash drives and lens caps
How do you purse carriers carry such monster purses??
But I do have a question for you ladies who are purse carriers.  I have only carried a purse for the last few years.  It is roughly 4" high and maybe 9 or 10" long.  This is a MONSTER purse.  How do you carry this on a day to day basis?  Aye!

Anyway.  The New Year is a few weeks into her reign.  The POTUS is officially into his 2nd term.  My FF is sleeping after his shift and my people want to be fed.  So, enjoy your day.  Hang out with your muppets and see how their days have gone.  Hug your FFs and tell them how much you love them.  AND don't quit on your New Year's Resolutions...get back on them if you have slipped up.

Happy Monday!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

It only took 13 years...

but we FINALLY got family pictures!  Here are some of my Faves!

The last pictures we had taken together were from our wedding!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

It is a sad story, really.

I have a fear of sewing machines.  There is no name for it, so sometimes I feel like I am the only one.  There is a perfectly good vintage sewing machine waiting for me to rescue it from storage.  But, I have no desire.  (Perhaps it is a childhood fear - I did put a hole in my forehead after running through the house, tripping over a phone cord and cracking my head open on the pedal of an antique sewing machine.  I have the scar to prove it.)  I have become more domestic over the last few years.  I have found that I can use the kitchen without burning down the house.  I have gotten kitchen related gifts over the last few years without feeling offended.  I have made my own pasta and fallen in love with my monster kitchen aid mixer.  Waffles are made from scratch and not from a box mix.  So, there may just be hope of me learning to sew...if I can stop hyperventilating at the thought if it.

But for now, NOPE!

I have a task at hand. I have become very much a DIY kind of gal.  It started with jewelry and has exploded from there.  It saves money and there is some very real satisfaction in doing something yourself - with your own hands.

I am comfortable with table saws, band saws, miter saws, drill presses, palm sanders...I loved shop as a kid.  Absolutely LOVED it.  Home Ec...that was another sad story.  I burned my hands when someone bumped me and I broke my fall on the heated oven grate.  I was terrified of the sewing machine, so the only thing I took from the sewing portion of home ec. in 8th grade was how to sew on a button.  My sad little goose pillow was sewn by hand, not by machine. And you could tell as his head flopped to the side. I was scared to death of sewing my fingers together.

And that fear continues to this day.

Idea from,
guest blogger Carly at 
Now, I have a project that really would be benefited by the use of a sewing machine.  I would like to make a  camera bag out of a purse. Right now I have nothing.  My camera and lenses and all the cords, chargers, accessories, memory cards, flash drives, have no home.  Nothing has happened, but it is indeed a very real possibility with 4 muppets and 2 very large waggidy tails.  And...just a matter of time.  I have looked at traditional camera bags and noticed two things.  One, they scream EXPENSIVE CAMERA EQUIPMENT, PLEASE STEAL ME!  Two, they are just plain ugly.  I see a 60 year-old man when I look at them.  So, even though I am not a purse carrier (although I do carry one - mainly for my epi-pen and various chargers)  this seems to be a better option.  I am also hoping this will let me feel more comfortable taking my camera places, where right now I rely on my GS II camera for day to day pics.  A bit of a waste.

 I found an amazing plan on one of my favorite blogs - The Frugal  Indeed suggest you add them to your must read list. At least take a look at the plans laid out.  I fell in love.  Materials - purse, foam, fabric, Velcro, needle and thread. 
I am just not a purse kinda gal,
this might have been the hardest part.

I have the purse ordered - clearance from Target.  Fabric and foam from JoAnn Fabric - also on sale.  They will be here in about a week, so I have some time to plan.
I needed fun fabric.

My original plan was to hit up a FFW gal pal, Fire Wife Elly (be sure to take a look at her blog here), as she is significantly less likely to sew her fingers together as I am.  I did indeed offer to bring the liquid refreshments.  BUT, with my impatient nature, I am not sure I can wait.  So, as I was sitting here thinking, I could indeed do this without a sewing machine...without needle and thread at all.  Stitch Witchery is my friend!  I have used it before and why couldn't I use it now??!!  Cheating??  Perhaps.  I prefer to think of it as creative problem solving.  I may not be able to use a sewing machine (or maybe I can...the world may never know) but, I can use an iron.  That may indeed be the answer.  

I will indeed keep you updated!

My FF has been home since Friday, he heads back to work tomorrow and privately I can't wait.  At the same time, he has been taking care of me through whatever this nasty stomach bug is that seems to have made itself at home in my body and I am oh so grateful and loving him more everyday.  I am back to sleep, now enjoy the day.  Kiss your FF and let your muppets know you love them.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Family Pictures

I will have been married 15 years this summer.  I LOVE taking pictures, but I am not in too many of them, because the camera is always in my hand.  Our last formal pictures were our wedding pictures.  And family pictures...well, ummm,  yeah, we have none!   

So, this past spring I got a bee in my bonnet and decided to have pictures taken. Found a date during the week when my FF was off shift AND we were off of school so we could have more time and less pressure that comes with the weekend.  Sounds perfect.  Until the bonehead forgot to check the calendar before he made a trade.  UGH!

The infamous "divorce" picture.
Well, I was stubborn and had the pictures done anyway.  Pictures of the girls, the boys, all four muppets and me with the muppets.  He felt bad that he was left out and calls those pictures, as lovingly as he can, the divorce pictures.  So I can put it up right away when I get fed up with this crazy life.  Not that I see that happening, this crazy life has kinda grown on me - even if it is a fungus type growth.
Last spring's picture of the muppets.

I finally scheduled a date for pictures a few weeks ago and did not really give him a choice in the matter.  I put a reminder that would go to his phone and pretty much threatened him with some sort of bodily harm if he made a trade.

And this weekend came and they went really well.  Our photographer and her partner, were amazed at how easy our muppets were to photograph. Except at one point - B was giggling incessantly, which distracted the girls and so I set him out the hallway to collect himself.  Which he interpreted as being in trouble and the tears started flowing.  That was not my intention.  And I had to calm him down. Ah well.  He lived, without too many scars and I am certain it will be a story he tells later in life. So, we had family pictures, individual pictures - I was boycotting the school pictures this year - and pictures of the FF and me. FINALLY!  And we celebrated by spending some of the dinner gift cards we have had sitting around.  It was a wonderful way to close the weekend. 

Amazing that something so little can bring so much happiness, but I was walking on air yesterday, having so much fun.

As soon as the previews are ready, I will share them.  I am so excited.  I bought the CD as well.  It just makes it easier to share and reprint.

My next goal - outdoor pictures by the lake, in the fall.  Not that I am being picky or anything.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

And What Can We Learn From This?

Okay, I am a sports addict.  SI comes in my name, Baseball Tonight is my ringtone.  On my 45 minute drive to work and back, my kids have to suffer through sports talk radio. I am constantly on Twitter during games to see who is saying what about that call or play. And on Sundays after Mass, I turn on the NFL network as soon as we walk in the door.  I probably need treatment.

And I am probably the only sports junkie in the world that is not fuming over the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame Class of 2013, that is not a class at all.

I am the first to spout off that it is the Hall of Fame and not the Hall of Very Good.  And I heard some of the guys this morning on my drive in say that this is not the Hall of Nice Guys.  I know Babe Ruth came to games drunk, on a regular basis.  I am aware that there are rumors that the Brewers beloved Paul Molitor may have tried a powdery substance of the 80s.  I get all of that.  I also get that PEDs were not necessarily against the rules, even if they were illegal. I get all of that.

But it does not mean I like it.  

The snubbing of the roid raging, media hating, arrogant (in many cases) athletes of the 90s and 2000s has made a statement.  Maybe the Sports World has made a statement.  Lance Armstrong has been stripped of his titles for trying to go around the rules and now the BBWAA has shown their distaste.   I will admit, the homerun race '98 may have caused me to put away my "Go Ahead and Strike, Football's More Exciting Anyway" t-shirt, with the baseball bat at the bottom (which I kept and still have in a tub somewhere).  But at what cost??  Steroids and corked bats??   

And I am probably the ONLY baseball freak in America that is pleased.

But what does this tell us??  It tells us that we can now tell our kids, "See cheating is not the way to go."  Or "No matter how big and powerful you are, you should still be polite to people."  (Ahem, Mr. Bonds)  And I am okay with it.  I know that the guys that were believed to be first ballot hall-of-famers, will probably get in next year.  I know that I am in the minority on a lot of the records that have been broken in the last few years.  But I feel vindicated.  I can talk to my nearly 13 year-old on our drive home and be able to have the "cheaters never didn't win" talk this afternoon.

So, the weekend will be here before we know, but clearly not soon enough.  Help your muppets with their homework, laugh at their corny joke and let them know you love them.  Talk with your FFs, keep those lines open, let them know how much they mean to you and as always kiss them as they head off to their shift.  

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Just another example of the differences between men and women

Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars.  We've read the books, heard the experts.  There are indeed inherit differences.  I wrote about it this summer when an engine came down the street in the middle of the night and his was response was, "Oh, probably just a man down." and the snoring resumed.

I saw it again last week.

Strep throat has been going through my house, somehow hitting only the XXs of the house.  Probably because the girls' share a room, O still sucks her fingers (I am working on it) and I am their main caretaker, we all got hit.  O we discovered accidentally...we took her in to get her nose checked (from her fall before Christmas) and came home with a script for amoxicillin.  Wednesday, D developed a fever and horribly sore throat.  And last Wednesday night/Thursday morning, I ended up with a 102.7 fever and my throat on fire.  We are all on our meds and bouncing back.  Although, for a stretch of the drive down Friday, I wondered if I had rushed it.  Ah, well.  I was already more than half way there.

A side of antibiotics is always a nice way to start the day, don't you think!

Anyway.  I stayed home with D last Thursday, misery loves company, right.  My FF was just getting off shift. He drove two counties away to take the other three stooges to school for me, leaving the infirmary ward at home to rest.  With D you could tell when her Tylenol and Advil started to wear off and take effect based on her energy level.  I worked with her while attempting to sleep - not happening.  I was looking forward to my FF making his way back from the school two counties away so I could sleep.

Silly mommy, naps are for daddies. 

Yeah, there was no nap happening until well after lunch time when I got D to lay down and sleep.  She was miserable at that point, to be certain.
I finally got her to sleep when my hubby went to
get the three stooges from school.

Daddy, coming of shift had no issues ignoring the 1st grader and sleeping instantly.  I was hoping he'd nap in the living room.  Yeah, that was not happenin'.  After third request for something to drink or eat, I resigned and went out to the living room.  Made her lunch and rested when I could.    Daddy, slept right through it, never hearing any of it.  I am not surprised or even angry.  Had he been the one with the strep dx, you can bet he'd been sure to be sleeping his way back to health.  Ah well, he made dinner and picked up/dropped of the kids.  Not really complaining.  I just wish I knew the secret...

Spread the love to your muppets and firefighters.  Fight to keep those New Year, New You resolutions.  Enjoy your week.  FFs, stay safe and come home.

Oh the way...who are the Bears playing this weekend??  Oh, you mean their not playing this week, they didn't make the play-offs??  They're done??  So sad... <evil snicker>

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

I am a person with very vivid dreams.  Not necessarily meaning that I buy too much into dream interpretation.  I do believe that your dreams are your brain's method of filtering and sorting through your day, your hopes and your fears.  Perhaps they mean more than I give them credit for and perhaps they mean nothing.  But I seem to have a TON of them and many of them stick with me.

Lately, I have found that there are two main themes to the dreams that stick.  One is bowling.  I have my theories on that.  The other is my husband being killed on duty.  Clearly, when married to military, law enforcement or a fire personnel, it always in the back of your mind.  It is always a very real possibility.  But to have them keep popping up in your sub-conscious, I thought oh so peacefully sleeping brain gets tiresome.  Especially when it has been oh so frequently.

Last night was not one of those nights. My only interruption was an almost 5 year-old sneaking into bed with me at 3am.  And I was sleeping so well, I didn't argue, just let her snuggle.  Perhaps that was what let me go back to sleep. But, the other nights...AYE!

I haven't talked to my FF about it.  And I probably won't.  He knows that I worry and that is enough.  I don't need to add to his concerns.  AND I know he just read through my blog last shift, which means that by the time he returns it will be buried.

Anyway, several nights over the last week I have been awoken by dreams that dealt with my FF dying at work.  Last week I woke up curled up by the front door, with both dogs nosing.  Clearly I was sleep walking again and clearly they were concerned.

Sometimes the dream takes me to the funeral.  When I close my eyes I can clearly see the graveside ceremony and who is there.  I know I have dreamt about being at the hospital.  Everyone of theses stupid terrifying dreams involved that stupid knock at the door.  The other night it was #1 and one of the Battalion Chiefs from Battalion 1 and I refused to answer the door like a stubborn toddler.  They had our neighbor use her key and come through the back door  and I woke up as I started to shout at her, "NO! NO! NO!..." Another dream had complete strangers (in uniform) taking me to the hospital to watch in disbelief as he took his last breath.

I HATE waking up like that ~ especially when he is on shift and I cannot get a hold of him, nor do I really want to wake him up if he is actually sleeping.  I can console myself when he is home and all I have to do is turn over and know that is okay.  I am not a worrier, but this is starting to really get to me.

Peace to the Webster, NY Department...
But, dreams are just that...dreams.  Simply your mind sorting through things.  They are not real.  My firefighter will come home to me tomorrow.  So instead I should say a prayer of thanksgiving that I am one of the lucky ones.  To far too many people that knock on the door is reality, even though it may seem like a dream they just cannot wake up from.  Too many of our military have left loved ones behind.  And more recently senseless violence has taken police and firefighters from us far too soon.  

Let your kids know how much you love them and be sure to kiss your firefighter before the next shift begins.  Then say a prayer that they may come home safe and sound to you.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

One thing that I just realized I am tired of...

Every Fire Wife has her complaints.  Some hate holidays alone (well, most) others hate kids concerts, others don't like doing _______________________________________ <<<<<< insert what you hate doing when your FF is on shift.  

I have figured out what gets my goat when my firefighter is on shift...

I hate watching the Packer games alone.  I am a rabid sports nut, who counts down to 2 dates in the sports world.  Pitchers and catchers reporting (43 days btw) and opening day of training camp.    And I need to listen and read and discuss and debate sucks watching so many games alone.

Sometimes I go by my dad's or he comes here.  But most times I am watching it alone.  Screaming at the TV alone.  With no one to complain about the last bogus call, except my Facebook/Twitter/Blogorama world. 

And that is getting kind of old.

Ah well.  I can hope that he has a busy night full of silly calls that he really didn't need to go to and misses the game.  It will make me feel better about being the crazy lady talking to the TV.  Well. Okay, maybe not.  I do hope he gets to watch the entire game with no sounds of tones in the background.  Then I can give him a hard time about all of my tax payer dollars going to him watching the dang football game without me!

Ahh, well.  

Half an hour until kick-off.  All the laundry is done, girls' room cleaned, community areas cleaned (notice I am not mentioning the boys' rooms...just sayin') and I am so ready for some football since the Houston/Cincy game isn't doing much for me right now.

Go Pack Go!

So I guess The Beast will have to keep me company.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Just a little rant...

Okay, I need to say this.  My poor husband got an earful this morning at breakfast.  If you are offended, I mean no offense.

I saw a ton of fussing about firefighters being on shift.  Many were young gals, some were not.  Holidays are a crappy part of the job...unless you like getting out of family drama, then I guess it is a perk.  But, it comes with the bunker gear.  You know it is coming as soon as your shift is assigned.  We find that we plan months in advance for holidays and birthdays, for school functions and summer barbeques.  Planning comes with the world as well.

I don't like it anymore than anyone else.  But it is indeed part of life.  We know that.  

So, knowing that, you have two options.  Option #1 - accept it.  Option #2 - have a pity party and feel bad.  Personally, I prefer to put on my big girl pants and accepting it.  We (the muppets and I) had originally planned on joining some friends of ours last night for some NYE celebrations, but the strep bug has made its way into our home and one of the little guys who would have been at the party can't afford to be exposed to it.  So we were onto plan B.

Plan B included a trip to the dollar store for hats and noise makers and a trip to the grocery store for chips and Sunny D.  We busted out the Wii Motes, wore our goofy hats and bugged the dogs with our noisemakers. We had a toast with "kid wine" that made my girls giggle from the carbonation in the apple juice and enjoyed using real wine glasses. My boys made it until well after midnight and loved watching the ball drop.  D melted down and turned into pumpkin mush at 9am.

It was fun.

And it was in the middle of a 48.

When your firefighter has to work on a holiday, it does have an impact on those left at home.  But, it is totally up to us how we care to deal with that.  You can sit at home a feel bad or you can go out and enjoy your friends and family.  I would LOVE a GNO.  NYE would be a perfect excuse. If we didn't all have kids...

So for 2013, decide on what your goals are.  If you are having a hard time with the fire life, join the auxiliary, make friends with other fire wives - both in the department and out.  We get this world.  Be sure you are also still supportive of your FF.  Remember, the FFs would more than likely rather be at home with their families or out with their friends, as well.  Own this crazy life and make it you own.  It can be constricting if you let it.  Don't let it.  Instead use the time to make memories.

If you did not get to kiss your FF at the strike of 12, be sure there is a New Year's kiss after naptime is over.  Hug your kids and remind them that the New Year is a new start for everyone.  Make 2013 the best yet.

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