Thursday, October 1, 2015

Free Time

There's not a lot of it at this moment in time. Kids are up at 5:30-5:45 am, so unless I want to be up at 4ish, I don't get it on the front end of the day.

I teach all day, run kids to activities - sports, debate, chess, lessons, church activities...

Come home to boxes and the remaining Muppets who rightfully seek my attention. But I am so tired, that I feel I am not giving them what they deserve. 

And now my lunch hour is being demanded...not requested, by my students. Pounding on the door. Upset when I leave to go to the bathroom, never mind that my day started with two meetings and I teach 3 classes back to back before lunch.  I find myself grumping at them. I know they need my time and love, nearly as much as my muppets. But, to demand it...  It is just not going over well with my exhaustion.

In one breath, I am saying to myself, "NO! This is my 30 minutes of freetime." I don't get it at home, I live in meetings lately (confirming my choice to NEVER go into administration) and I just need quiet. I need to quiet my head and make my lists. I need to breathe and eat my unhealthy food in my desk. Then my Catholic guilt takes over...these kids really need me. I know that they do. But there is a right way to approach things - pounding on my closed door is not it. And it is okay for me to want peace. I have an administrator who scolded me for not answering my door last week, feeding into my guilt. Sigh...I just need a time machine.

Ah well, ramblings. There are two teens in here at the moment. I tried to call my FF, but of course, they caught a run. My bell will ring, my class will come. I will tap dance through my 51 minute one woman show, before I head down to a meeting, only to complete the day with one more class. 

Then on to get the little girls - who I am keeping out of judo today because one of our Asst. Chiefs is speaking to N's football team on leadership for their dinner and I should really be there since the FireMan is on shift. Tomorrow is the Homecoming game, Saturday is the dance, although N is going to another school's HC with another FF's daughter. No rest for the wicked.

Happy Thursday! 
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