Good From Evil, Look For It

Not always easy to do. We all have to look for that rainbow that comes after the storm or the fact  that it is always darkest before the dawn.  But, how do you do that when you see nothing but hatred and anger behind it...and the heartbreak left behind in the wake?  Amazingly, I have seen that!  

Since starting at the high school I am currently teaching at, I have been some amazing people - some characters and some simply amazing. The most recent part of that "amazing" came to us in the fall through Serve 2 Unite, funded by Arts @ Large.  Both AMAZING organizations. I'll let you read the back stories of both, but it is found in the temple shooting nearly two years ago. 

I was sitting there, quietly working on my kids' headphones for the coming school year in my bedroom, listening to the kids giggle in the living room...when I got the phone call from my FFW next door - from work.  "Where's J? Is he at the temple?!" I literally looked at my phone.  Why was she asking?  She knew it was a shift day, where do you think he is?  Why would he be at a temple?   I had no clue what she was talking about.  I was watching Oddities and clearly oblivious. "Oh, my god, you don't know."

And my heart dropped.  The tone in her voice.  I hit the news explosion that was upon us and couldn't breathe for a moment.  I studied the rigs, looking for Med 7.  This was the day I learned the difference between those red boxes - MFD has the zig zag gold on the side.  I remember seeing the images...burning them in my mind.  There is one of Pardeep's brother, Armadeep that haunted me.

It is as clear as day.  Even in the dark of this sleepless night. 

As I said earlier, you have to look for that first ray of sunlight that comes out of that darkness.  Luckily, I didn't have to look it found me.  Through Serve 2 Unite.  

Love and acceptance out tragedy, heartache and hatred.

Six lives were lost.  Pardeep's father, Satwant Singh Kaleka, the president of the Sikh Temple of Wisconsin was among the casualties. Countless others, rocked to their very core.  Anger and bitterness would have made total sense for the families involved.  NO ONE would have faulted them,. Instead, they turned that heartache into a chance to mend broken hearts and bring an end to senseless violence and hatred.  Through the amazing initiative of a grieving family and a repentant skin head.

Pardeep and Arno.  They are the most amazing odd couple you have ever seen.   I have to admit, I spent much of the first meeting with them trying to figure things out...who fit where, how this ACTUALLY came to fruition...and don't remember much of the actual discussion in our little social studies department. When Arno came to speak to the Sociology class, I brought my World History kids in as well.  His message was worth sacrificing a day of content.  Watching my kids, who didn't quite trust me at that point, listen to this big, raspy voiced man share is tale of hate mongering, with these kids who are all too familiar with it, was AMAZING.  Instant defensiveness.  One of my big guys refused to sit on the same side of this monstrous room.  Another actually commented to me, "You really want me to listen to this sh!t?".  They could not wrap their heads around it.  Experience has taught them that leopards don't change their spots.  And here was this perceived monster who had a swastika tattooed to his middle finger...and I was asking them to listen to him.

Fast forward to this past Friday.  When my kids, 75 kids from so many different paths of life, converged on one of our southside neighborhoods to do Community Mapping, not only with S2U, but also with UWM's Urban Initiatives & Research, to determine through analysis of data, what we can do to make a difference in that neighborhood.  Watching these same kids who did not think Arno was worth  giving up my elaborate notes for...was AMAZING!  The smiles that Pardeep brought to my kids.  And my FF working with a group that was so diligently trying to update their Neighborhood Safety map, made me smile. 

It was an amazing transformation.  In so many ways.  From that skeptical group of kids in October...from that group of kids that was SO uncomfortable THAT morning, because I separated them from their friends and asked some of them to lead...to this group this community of amazing kids, working together SO amazingly! It made my heart happy.  

Good from evil.  I didn't have to look for it.  It found me.

Photo credit: Serve 2 Unite

Photo credit: Serve 2 Unite

Why would I post the serious pictures?

It was an amazing day.  Seeing me kids leave their comfort zones within their peer group and into unknown groupings - begging me to change them - and move out into the community to reach out a seek to make it better.  This would not have happened this way had it not been for the tears falling to water such a beautiful, life filled group.  

Please know, I am not saying that I am glad that it happened.  It woke me up in the middle of the night, hence this post.  I am, however, grateful, that hate did not turn into hate.  Instead, into spreading a message of love and tolerance.  And, I am indeed blessed to have been a witness to it.

My husband has been permanently temporarily assigned to the TEMS house - another creation in response to the tragedy of the that fatal day in August 2012.  If, God forbid, we were to see an event of that level, I won't have to wonder if he is there.  He will be there, presuming his formal assignment comes to be.  Instead of watching to see if there, I will be finding something productive to do, hoping for that phone call when all is said and done.  

I will be looking for that break of dawn to get me through the worry that will accompany such events.  We have to look for that ray of sunshine...it helps lead us to tomorrow, no matter how dark the night has been.  My kids are my ray of sunshine.  Be sure to find yours.

Peace and love.

Tragedy Strikes

It has been a crazy week in our household.  So crazy that our mystery date did not happen.  That is a story for another day.  Disappointing to be sure, but what are you gonna do?  However, it has been even crazier for our community.

Last week, we lost one of our Sheriff's deputies - Sergio Aleman, in a tragic accident during rush hour.  He was married and a father of five children.  He was also the uncle of my husband's partner.  And, by the grace of God, it was a Blue shift.  Had it been 24 hours earlier, they would have been the ones on scene.  J mentioned he was SO glad to not be on that call one we heard the details and was even more relieved after he talked to his partner.  Please send prayers to his family during this time of grief and heartbreak.  May God be with them and make His healing presence known and bring them acceptance.  The funeral is this morning.  I hope it brings peace and closure.

 

And then on Sunday.  One of those things that happens, but not here.  We see it on the news, but it would NEVER happen here.  We all watched Aurora tried and make sense of the tragedy last month.  Who knew where Oak Creek, Wisconsin was before Sunday?  

I was watching Oddities (I LOVE that show) wrapping D's headphones for school when my phone rang. It was my fellow fire wife neighbor - who was at work.  "Is J at the temple??"  I literally looked at my phone like she was crazy.  I asked her what she was talking about. "Oh, my god, you don't know." And she then quickly told me to turn on the news.   A gunman had opened fire at the Sikh Temple 10 minutes from our homes, at this point there were reports of 2, maybe 3 gunmen.  There was talk of 29 people down.  A Oak Creek police officer was down.  20+ med units from at least 6 departments, including our own.  J was on shift.  Now, I KNOW, they would not send the meds in until the scene is secure.  I KNOW they would not create more casualties.  But, that does not mean my heart did not drop a bit as I watched the coverage and tried to figure out which units were there.  I did not need him on scene with a barrage of crazed lunatics with weapons.  I sent him a text, figuring he would probably respond pretty quickly to let me know all was well.  45 minutes later I left him a Voicemail asking him to just check in with me to let me know he was not there.  I never actually CALL him at work.  He is at the 2nd busiest med house in the state.  15-18 runs a day is more of the norm than the exception.

An hour later he got back to me and I was able to breathe a bit easier.  It was Med 10 and Med 15 that was there, not my hubby.

Two messages here.
Spouses of firefighters and law enforcement.  Make sure you tell your significant other that you love them before they leave for their shift.  You just never know.   It is simply the nature of their profession.  Safety comes first, but you can only train and plan for so much.  Some things are just out of our control.  Also make sure you have some plan in place for communication in times of such intense events.  I have always had a plan for the possibility that I find myself raising my children alone, make sure you talk about it.  It is uncomfortable, it is scary.  But, it is, however, a very real possibility.

And more of a general message, be educated not ignorant.  The Sikh community around the world is grieving.  They have had so many senseless attacks on their temples, their gurdwaras, since the Twin Towers fell.   And no one of their faith was involved with the tragedies of 9/11.  They are a peaceful community, there is no call for this violence.  Now, that being said, what we have learned about the gunman leads me to believe that no amount of education would have stopped him.  He was angry and hate-filled. His music spread these messages of hate.  The military would not re-enlist him.  He was not okay.  I will not mention his name, this is not about him.  This is about those whose lives will never be the same because of his angry hatred.

Please offer prayers for our community.  Prayers for the families of the victims of this senseless hatred and prayers for the Sikh community.  Please also keep Dep. Aleman's family in your prayers as well, as they say their final good-byes today. 


Hug your kids and kiss your firefighters.  Make sure they know you love them.