Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Balance

I can tell already I will have to relearn what Balance is.

I missed a family party and tried to spend the better part of two whole days getting lessons done, aligning standards, now that we actually some to work with.  (In the case of my AP classes, I have MORE than enough standards to work with...10 pages for two preps...but, I digress.)

My FF took care of school supplies and he took the kids out of the house for me.  He is awesome.  And, he bought me a back-to-school gift...to help me shake the on-coming blues...

Tomorrow, he is taking "back to school" pictures for me so I can go in early and make my last minute copies, move maps that need to be hung, attach fabric to a table, creating a convenient hidey place for my mess, etc.  

He will also help me work through my guilt.  

I am always there for the kids' first day.  I always take the kids' pictures.  

And instead, he will do that for me.

Not unlike what I do for him when he is on shift on those most amazing days.

I guess this is a taste of my own medicine. 

He gets the extra responsibilities, but he also gets to be part of those memories that the kids  will take with them into the world.  And I will be absent from those pictures.  I will be at work. 

There are many pictures of me with
the Muppets while he's on shift...
Perhaps, it is good that my classroom needs so much attention this year.  It is a necessary reminder of all the holidays he misses without saying a word. There is that sacrifice.  He is absent from so many of those memories...or he is on ooVoo.  I allow myself to feel resentment during those times, but I forget how much sacrifice comes with that as well.

I need to balance my time - work cannot consume me.  But, I also have to balance my frustration over the solo parenting moments, with the understanding that he is not only missing from them...but also truly missing them.

Life is all about balance.

Everything in moderation.

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