Thursday, December 4, 2014

Life

Life happens. And you make choices. 

This blog got me through some rough points in my life - suddenly finding myself married to a firefighter, mainly. 

But, when life gets insane, I sadly tossed it to the side. 

I started to share all of the issues of my oh so routine surgery with this post.  I got the school year started and football and Infinite Campus and both girls in judo...and I was back in the hospital for a week. I missed Homecoming. I wasn't feeling right. Earlier in the week, I started bleeding.  Like heavy period bleeding.  Ummmm, yeah, all my lady parts were removed. After a CT scan, they found a vaginal fistula.  The more I researched, the more I realized no one really sees those. It is mostly found in 3rd World Countries and in older women. I was referred to a specialist. We were going to do a few more scans and decide if we were going to go with bowel rest - no food for three months - or a quite invasive surgery to repair the breech, That weekend was Homecoming.  J was on shift the night before and I was sicker than a dog. He went to the game...I called and made him come home. We went to the ER, were immediately sent to a room and I was admitted faster than I have ever seen before. The head of the department took my case and said he had never seen anything like this.  I was going septic. And still puking my guts out - they restricted my zofran.

Lovely nail polish thanks to
the even lovely Fire Wife Elly.
A few days into my stay, we did an NG tube, they decided there was a blockage. THAT SUCKED A$$! My gag reflex is so strong and you can't puke with an NG tube.  They got the blockage and were planning to leave it in for 2-3 days. Yeah, I made them take it out after 3 hours. Either they removed it, or I would. It was that simple. Fire Wife Elly was amazing and drove up for a few of those days, and sadly had to witness that horrible experience. She was amazing, I was not. 

After that god awful thing came out, I had one more violent bout with puking my guts out and miraculously, I felt human. I could walk the halls and handle the smell of food, without having to dash back. Clearly, the obstruction was a huge issue. 

A few more days in the hospital, including a fluoroscopy that had the residents running in to watch like any episode of Grey's Anatomy, without the viewing gallery, so they were all up close and personal with my nether regions.  If I had any modesty left after the babies, it was gone with this test. I realize that this test is NEVER seen in MDC, but holy crap. 

If you can picture the Ben Stein's character in Ferris Bueller, that was the doc doing this test. It was humourous. 

The fricking TEAM of specialist that had formed to deal with my crisis that no one could explain, suddenly found themselves with a mystery. The fistula that was clear as day - even my completely untrained eyes could see it  - had resolved. With no rhyme or reason.  I have my own thoughts, but that is for another day.  Suddenly, I was coming home.

This scared my FF, like no other issue before.  I have nearly died bringing three of the kids into the world.  But I think the docs saying that I was septic and they didn't think they would get me back...after the SNAFU with my surgery...after the 56 PEs...was more than he could really handle. He could have lost me several times over this summer/fall. Luckily, I am far too stubborn to go in such a mundane fashion.  We worry so much about them coming home, this time the shoe was on the other foot. Tomorrow is not a guarantee for any of us.

But, I have not been the same. I sleep...a lot. So not like me. I get tired so easily. I have never experienced this. 

The worst part of this - timing.  Murphy was clearly paying attention. Two days after I was admitted, my FF started a long term subbing position for a teacher on maternity leave.  Two + months of him not only on shift - but also teaching. That left me really having to carry the load at home, at a time when I could barely hold my head up after 4pm. Football, chess, debate, homework, church - really all falling in my lap at a time when I really needed to not be the strong firewife who takes on the world. 

And, sadly, THtH was neglected. I have some posts that I really need to get up.  I will get this bad girl up and running again.  I haven't abandoned her. 

Thanks for checking in.  For those of you who have kept me company through all of this, thanks for all your love, support and prayers. 

Love on those firefighters. Tomorrow is never promised.
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