We are in the middle of our second of three 48s this week. Last year, I would have been a mess - grumpy, stomping and overwhelmed. Two years ago, I wouldn't have been able to function normally - it was more like stumbling through. Three years ago, I could barely fathom what this life would be like. J didn't start the academy until the 26th of this month...it seems like another life ago.
Waking up this morning, alone, to the news that 19 WFFs won't be coming home, breaks my heart. And it puts it all in perspective.
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| from National Firefighters Endowment |
As I think about these three 48s...and then I think about the WFFs who are gone for weeks and months at a time...and suddenly 2 days is not so bad. He will be home tomorrow.
We all know that there are inherent risks that come with this life. Most of us shove them to the back of our minds. Moments like this make it hard not to think about it.
So, instead, I sent an I love you text to my FF. And I am crying my tears for these FFs, their families and the FFs fighting that beast, even with their heavy hearts. If you can send prayers up for this community, they need it. And if anyone from the Granite Mountain scene needs something, please reach out. Prescott FD - our hearts are with you. An email is all that it takes and the fire world will surround you. It is pretty amazing.
As I am writing this post, I have my FF's wedding ring on my thumb. I pray that I always have the chance to hand it back to him as he gets off shift. It makes it easier for some reason if I just keep it with me. For those wives and families who do not have that opportunity, please know you are not alone. We have lost 61 firefighters this year. It seems like every time we turn around, there is another LODD. The number blows my mind, seeing as we are only half way through 2013.
Say a prayer, send your healing thoughts to these families. Hug your FF tight when that door opens after shift. Days like today make it all the sweeter that they are home with us.
Fireman, know that we are so proud of you and love you very much. I know this is a crazy week - we can't for you to come home to us.
To the families and department of the "Granite Mountain Hotshots", our love, thoughts and prayers are with you.
I was fine until the reading of Isaiah's passage, and I lost it. I have that written in my FF's helmet to remind him that he is never alone, never. And to hear that at such an event, broke my heart, and the dam that was holding back the tears. We all put ourselves in their shoes at this moment. But, the tears come from the helplessness that I feel right now. I cannot comfort them or reach out to them. I cannot make the pain ease or their loneliness subside. I can send my prayers and cry along with them, but that is it.
