Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I hear the disappointment in his voice...

We made an agreement a few weeks ago that we would talk at least once a shift when he was working.  Jeff called around 10:30 last night and of course I asked how it was going.  They had ONE call.  And it was an med call - nothing too interesting.  You could just hear the disappointment in his voice.  All of the guys from the academy have been off to fires, some of them several in a shift.  And to date...he has had a total of...NONE!!  No fires.  Most of his EMS calls have been nothing too exciting or they have been called off.  Which leaves more time to clean.  Let me tell you, that is NOT one of his favorite activities.

On my way into work this morning he calls to check on my hand.  And again, how was last night.  They had one run - smoke at a nearby hospital.  I actually felt excited for him.  BUT, when they got to Sinai - it was just a steam vent.  Someone called because they noticed steam from a steam vent.  AYE!

But, here is my dirty little secret, I am relieved.  I am nervous when he is at work.  Mind you, being a high school history teacher with 4 little ones at home, does not leave much time to worry about it.  But, when it is finally quiet at the dinner table, it pops into my head.  The first moment when the "MOOOMMMMAAAAA" calls from the dark bedrooms cease and there is a peace in the air, it creeps into my to-do list.  When I realize that I am waking up alone, I can't help but hope and pray that he had a quiet night.  I know that is not what he is looking for, but I am okay with this lull.  The thought of the high rise pack having to be pulled out, does not thrill me.  The possibility of my doorbell ringing at 3am is not something I want to even think about.  When I get that 6am, "Hi Honey, another quiet night" call on my way down to Kenosha - I feel his disappointment, but also breathe a bit easier.
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