Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath...

My firefighter is still adjusting to his schedule.  He has offered to take the "Watchman" position through the night. Simply put, he monitors the radio traffic and answers the phone and door calls through the night, while the other guys sleep upstairs.  This leaves him trying to get back on a sleep schedule on his off days.  Especially after his last shift - it was radio only, no tones.  That makes for a very long night for him.  I am trying to be patient and let him sleep as long as he needs, to nap as much as he needs to.  But that leaves me as a single mommy on his shift days, as well as a good portion of his off days.

Today, I kept the kids quiet while he slept.  Our favorite firefighter joined polite civilization around 9:30am and instantly announced he was going to run down to Engine 30 to grab a light he ordered from one of the guys.  I kid you not, the moment he left, our lovely muppets - who had been so nice and quiet while Daddy slept - erupted in a sea of screams.  Livy was ticked off that Brennan was cleaning the toy room, Brennan was furious that Liv made a mess (even though I tried to tell him that is just what 2 year-olds do), Desiree was mad that Daddy left without taking her, making sure everyone knew that she was dissatisfied and our oldest, Noah, was making his indignation at my request to clean up his desk, VERY well known.  I left.  In my bare feet and fire academy sweats, I went out and stood on the deck (in 28 degree weather).  I counted to 10, counted again and again and again and again...

I know everyone is having to adjust to this new lifestyle, but I feel like I am the only one making the adjustments with the kids.  I feel (knowing full well that perception is not necessarily reality) as though Jeff is making the adjustment to HIS new lifestyle, but not ours.  Please tell me that we will hit our stride and find our routine, please.