Clarity...

Sometimes life takes over. June 2014- Now 2015 has been insane. I'll spare you the boring details and hospitalizations. We are clearly not done, but I am still here. And in the grand scheme of things that is all that matters. Another school year is upon us, another 9/11 memorial has been celebrated as we vow to #NeverForget and my 40th has come and gone. And I am still standing.

This is my first post of 2015, and we are already well on our wait to finding 2016.

This past weekend I traveled to Colorado Springs, to the IAFF Fallen Firefighter Memorial. It was decommissioned earlier this year and recommissioned on Saturday. It is breath taking. Captain August Gutzmann, MFD, was added to the memorial and his granddaughter asked if I would join her out there. It took some juggling of schedules and my amazing FF holding down the ship so that I could head out there for the weekend, but I am so grateful that I did.  

It was hard to prepare for the ceremony and NOT put myself in the shoes of the family. It was a concerted effort to clear it from my mind as I got dressed. It literally took me telling myself to knock it off and just get moving. But, as I met the families and as I spoke with those left behind, it crept back into my brain. These families all knew it could happen to their FF. But survival tells you to place that in the not now bucket of your brain. No matter if the loss was 2015 or 1985, the loss was real. The pain came back. The wives, the children, the parents, the grandchildren all remembered that pain and grief as though it was yesterday. The ceremony honors the fallen, but reminds the living that they are not alone. And, more importantly, we have not forgotten.

I was very proud to be part of the Milwaukee Fire family. The Honor Guard and Pipes and Drums were AMAZING. I ran to our bass drummer to share in the excitement after the parade Friday night because the excitement was just electrifying. I was so proud of all the practice time that our pipers put in for the breathtaking parade Friday and Saturday nights and the absolutely chilling performance that was part of the ceremony Saturday at the memorial. It was an experience that I will not forget.


Since I am aware that images are far more powerful than anything I could ever type, I will leave you with these. 

Be safe and come home to us.

Wisconsin State Firefighters Memorial

It was beautiful and amazing and moving and heart warming...and I hope to never be more than a spectator and an observer of the love of family and friends.  

Beth is putting together her post...expect tears...but she did wonderfully.

So, until her post is ready on WifeBehindtheFire.com, I will leave you with a few beautiful images of the day.

When Paths Collide

Sometimes people come and go in our lives.  Sometimes we know the reason, other times we know there must be SOME reason, it just has not been made clear to us.  Personally, I LOVE the people who SMACK you in the face.  You know instantly why they were put in front of you.  Neon billboard - BOOM there it is.  They make me smile and bring some weird pictures to my mind - think the Colosseum in the original Clash of the Titans. 

Just a few weeks ago, I had JUST that kind of a meeting...well, cyber meeting if you will.  Now, be prepared.  She will be telling her side of the story.  It will be much more fantastic than mine.  But, she was my example of the day.  

Fire wives - we are unique and we are family.  Just like blood relatives, some annoy you, some worry you, some make you laugh until you wet your pants, some can sing every musical you know - WITH YOU!  But every once is a while you hit it off FAMOUSLY and find out that she is more closely related to being your sister, than you even knew.

Case in point.  Random fire wife banter, leads to predictable fire drama.  I'll spare you the silly details.  BUT, what IS significant, is that she is from my area - even though she lives half a country away.  AND, even more important she is MFD family.  Her grandfather was a captain on a truck not far from where we currently live.

And he lost his life after a fire - smoke inhalation.  

It was a sad moment, but to brighten her day and her still broken heart, I offered to run down to Engine 2 and  take pictures of the memorial and her grandfather's name.  Life got in the way and it probably took me about a week and a half to get down there.  I started taking pictures - sunset was perfect.  And as I started looking for his name, I realized he wasn't there!  And my stomach dropped.  He is on the state memorial, how is he not here??!!  I checked and I know he was on the state memorial.  HOW CAN THIS BE?

This lovely fire gal, had forgotten all about it when I sent her a quick note.  In a nutshell, "You grandpa is not on there.  We are going to do some digging.  Do you know any details on his death?"  And that sappy gal (don't let her tell you she's not) got all mushy.  Two phone calls and four days later - there is a date set and this fallen captain will FINALLY get the recognition he deserved nearly 37 years ago.  His name will be on the monument and his family will get to partake in that recognition.  And, I will stand by her - tissues in hand - has his sacrifice recognized and remembered, along with that of many other FFs.  

One more name on that beautiful monument.  One more family told thank you.  One more time to let the families know, we have not and will not forget the sacrifice.  

Be safe.  Love and peace.