Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A Sign to Slow Down

Generalized seizureWe all have them - those signs that say the stress of
life is getting to be too much.  Mine started Friday night. We had some things to get done.  I took care of someone to watch the kids.  Met my husband's uncle did what needed to be done and waited for my husband to meet us from the track.  Once we got my hubby's opinion on the stuff we needed, the three of us went to dinner.  After dinner, while we were chatting - that feeling came over me and I could not join in the conversation, I just couldn't talk.  I started to feel paranoid that they were talking about me and heard a few voices that I am not sure were there.  No, not schizophrenia, just a complex partial seizure.  It is my sign that I am stressed out and worn out beyond what my brain can handle.  My last seizure was a tonic clonic in January of 2009 - while I was driving home from work.  SCARY!  Luckily it was just me and a light pole, Thank God! (True story, my husband's current LT was on that accident and remembered it.  MFD is such a small little world.  So embarrassing! What are ya gonna do?)  J was at the doctor's office, boys were still at school and girls were still at the sitters - can you say guardian angel!) But literally, NOTHING since then.  It has been nice.  All of this from a fever at three-  AYE!  So, since the race weekend is done, my FF opted OUT of tire testing yesterday and spent it with me.  He took me to breakfast.  Life was nice.  We had a meeting, helped some friends unpack now that they are FINALLY getting back in their house after a a Labor Day fire.  We had dinner with my dad and brother's family to celebrate my dad's birthday and we came home and tucked the muppets in.  I think I needed a day like that.

I have mesial temporal sclerosis.  There is scarring in my brain from a febrile convulsion at the age of 3 - dx at the age of 27, after a 27 minute tonic-clonic seizure.  My brain is fried.  Luckily - if you can say that - it happened early enough in my life that my brain rewired itself and I have the ability to live a normal life.  I do have some nominal aphasia - the word gets stuck on the tip of my tongue - A LOT.  I do have issues with short term memory - I have used a Palm PDA since 2002, now my Droid and the Cozi app do the job.  I use sticky notes and take copious notes at work on conversation with parents, at meetings, etc.  All things that are manageable.  I have had 6 t/c sz - I think - in the last 9 years. 

I have been spoiled.  Usually my big seizures come when I am over tired, stressed out and there is a strong lightning storm.  (Don't ask about the storm, I don't know.  We think it might be something with the barometric pressure.)  So, I am taking this as my sign that it is time to relax about things and just enjoy my kids and the summer - BEFORE I do have a t/c sz.  So - today - the three stooges headed up to the school in the neighborhood for the day camp program with their friends.  I am just going to chill with O - it is one of those foggy, rainy, yucky kinds of a day. My FF is back at work today, so since it is one of those foggy, rainy, yucky kinds of a day, we are going to turn it into one of those lazy, Netflix and popcorn kinds of days. My brain told me in no uncertain terms that I have overextended myself and need to fix that.  I intend to do just that.

Kiss your firefighters, hug your kids and take time to admire the world around you!
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