In Sickness and In Health

Apparently I took those vows a bit too seriously.  And I worry that I am pushing my limits.

My health appears to the rest of the world to be lovely and sunshiney.  But, my insides are so goofed up, I scare most doctors and hence the reason why I stay with my docs so long once they been vetted.

Blood pressure, brain damage, strokes, cancer scare after scare, pregnancies that nearly killed me, periods from hell that led me to anemia and Raynaud's Phenomenon that leaves my hands blue and my toes numb. He has been here with me through it all.  He has held my hair through the morning sickness and taken me on a city wide search for mittens and hand warmers in April because my hands were so bad.

This round of trials was no different.  He held done the homefront and took care of the laundry while I was in the hospital.  He has been amazing.  My FF took city owed trades, which threw him into 48s,  he kept the kids quiet so I could sleep the day away and he sat with me in the hospital, each and every time. 

I don't give him enough credit for how amazing he is.  I find myself being too worries about the day to day stuff that consumes us if we are not careful.  While he is definitely the man taking care of the big picture.  J was amazing with the muppets and wonderful about running interference when I needed to sleep.

He did all of these feats of valor and patience, without complaint and always with a smile.  There is nothing better that I could ask for.

Last month, you know the week after I was diagnosed with bilateral pulmonary emboli, we had a funeral to attend in his hometown.  I had every reason to say we couldn't go and he had every reason to talk me out of it. The funeral was for the phenomenal teacher I student taught under at the high school level.  He was an amazing gentle giant and the teacher I am continuing to strive to be.  J took me up there, tending to my needs as we waited in the winding line to see his amazing wife, Grace.  He was patient as I struggled to breathe from standing a loving when I asked to stop for some selfies at all of the places that took us in our early life to where we are now.  They were all on the way home and he obliged, while still monitoring my breathing. No lectures, no eye rolls, all with a smile. 

Our Romance in Four Pictures or Less... First comes love, then comes marriage...

    

Simply put, this is my moment to gush.  Our rule with the kids is that if we fight in front of them we need to make up in front of them.  This is along those same lines.  If I am going to fuss when he drives me looney, I have to brag when he proves, once again, what an amazing husband, father and friend he truly is.  

He is the love of my life, in times of plenty and in want, for better or for worse.  The last sixteen years have been an amazing journey.  I can't wait to see what the next 50 bring us.  Happy anniversary to the most amazing man, teacher, father, and friend.  

The Little Things...

Yesterday was one of those are days where we had NOTHING going on.  And it was so nice. Home from 8 o'clock mass and the day was  ours.  And was that an amazing feeling!  I made J run to Office Max with me to grab the penny and quarter school supplies - yes, I have started school shopping already.  But, I buy them when they are on sale.  Especially when the middle school muppets need more supplies than the kindergartner - things that make you go hmmmm...but I digress.  Not what my post is about.  The reason I made the fireman go was so that he could help where the limits got in my way.  So, I think we have a good start.

When we got back he decided he was going to clean my car.  And it took all afternoon.  My girl next door and I hit some of the other sales - $2.99 backpacks are good to have around when they die in January and all the backpacks are $30.  And when we got back from our second run, he was still cleaning my car.

But, let me tell you, when I ran an errand this morning, I was amazed.  Not only did he buff out all of the errant scratches and vacuum all the mini polar bears floating around my car, remove Toys R Us from my back seat,  he also cleaned the insides of windows. You don't realize how accustomed you become to looking through nose prints and slobber stains, until you have a clean set of windows. WOW.

And all I can say is that I have missed him cleaning my car.  He always did when we were in college and early into our married years.  But as the muppets came along, it became a bigger task to tackle, with less time in which to tackle it.  And it just got pushed aside and forgotten.  In the grand scheme of things, no big deal.  

But, for today...I am going to enjoy the bright clarity of this world through the front windows of my car. And it will take me back to our younger days...and make me smile.  Sometimes it is the little things that make the marriage amazing.  This is indeed one of those times.

Give those FFs some love.  Find a way to have some fun with your muppets and enjoy the beginning of this week.

10 Reasons Why I Love My Firefighter

It seems I have offended my FF with my last rant.  He brought it up today, "I really sound like a major @$$."  I wanted to agree, but I did not.  I wrote that post when my head was going to explode with everything that was going on AND I was getting sick.  He knows not to read my blog (or at least to read it with some sense of caution), especially if he does not want to hear the bare naked truth.  I have learned to bite my tongue when it comes to things, but in my blog is not always that place.  Do I censor what I talk about, of course.  But I don't sugar coat it, he knows that - and still loves me.

There is reason #1 - he loves me as I am.  A hot tempered, sharp tongued red head, who has no issues speaking her mind.  I call a spade, a spade - even if the proper term is digging implement.

Reason #2   He is a loving and patient man.  With his patients, with his children, with school kids and  with me.  I could ask for no more than that.  This is probably what makes me the most proud to be his wife.  You should see him subbing in the preschool, helping out a total stranger, helping the neighbor kids with math homework - in sidewalk chalk.  FFs often get a bad rap for having too much testosterone and not enough empathy. My FF proves that is not the case.

Reason #3 - He would give me the moon if he could.  He very rarely, if ever, tells me no.  He will save, work OT, whatever needs to be done, just to give me the little things that once upon a time I so took for granted.

Reason #4  He followed his dreams.  The world of education - although he was amazing in it, left him feeling unfulfilled.  So many people, especially with a wife and four children, would have stayed there.  It paid the bills.  But it was not for him and at the age of 34, he left his comfort zone of 4th grade public education and entered the fire academy.  And he stuck with it, even when it was kicking his arse and he did not think he could continue on.  He choose the road less traveled, and for that he can stand tall.


Reason #5 - He has introduced the world of aquatic life into our home.  We started with cheap little fresh water fish in a little 10 gallon hex tank.  At one point we had a 72 gallon bowfront reef salt water tank and an 75 gallon planted discus tank.  We now have a 14 gallon nano reef.  I love sitting and watching the fish.  The colors of the corals.  Sometimes, just walking through the fish store, dreaming of the tank we could have built when we win the lottery.  That never came into my life until I started dating my husband.  He set up a tank in his dorm room, drove through snow storms - just to get fish for me.

He's the 3rd one from the right left (medicine head, I swear!) and I am with my girl dead center.
Concert Choir, September 1995 - 4 months before we started dating.

Reason #6 - He has a gorgeous  tenor voice.  It was how we met - choir in college.  Our conductor counseled him away from marrying me - the priesthood needed men with voices, afterall.  He  sang with the Lakeland Singers, the musical ambassadors for the college.  Not a bad gig when you are a broke college student.  He was a part of the Sheboygan Symphony Chorus and later the Milwaukee Symphony Chorus, as well as part of the small chamber groups performing with the MSO.  But, as beautiful as his classical voice is, what makes me smile is when he sings to me and the kids.  Usually silly, usually loud and obnoxious.  Always guaranteed for a laugh and some joy.


Reason #7 - He lets me have dogs.  They keep me company (and safe) when he is gone.  I would be miserable without them.  Since our first pup all those years ago, I have promised that the next would be "his" dog.  But, I can't leave them alone and they all bond with me.  And he is okay with it.

Reason #8 - We have 4 beautiful kids.  I never wanted kids.  He talked me into 1 and I fell in love.  As insane as they make my life.  As insane as they simply are, I would not trade them for anything.  He even tolerates my goo goo eyes when I see a baby.  We're going on 5 years without one in this house - that is a record.  They are all miracles and they are all thanks to my husband's kind soul.

Reason #9 - He is encouraging.  Regardless of what I do, he supports me.  Regardless of what goofy ideas come into my head, he supports me.  When I see a turn of the century firehouse that I have never noticed, he will make a U-turn and take me back so I can grab some pictures.  He supports every hobby I have ever had - from bowling (ask him about the 14 bowling balls we have moved several times now) to music, from creating jewelry to preserving images in the digital world - he has always been right there as a cheerleader. (Trust me, those sexy legs look good in a skirt.)

Reason #10 - I love him.  No easy feat.  I love to be around him.  I don't get bored talking to him.  Sounds trite, but I seem to bore easily with members of the opposite gender (sorry for any I may have offended).  We have grown up together - since just about his 20th birthday when he blew me off for Fishhead (I got him a month later - no worries!).  He is my best friend and for that I am forever grateful that he came into my life.


Love your firefighters, even when they are driving you insane.  Even when you have been locked inside the house like the little old woman who live in a shoe.  Even when EVERYTHING that could go wrong did - all because he is on his third 48 in a row.  Love your firefighter and show them that they are loved.  Maybe making a list like this each time will help when all you can see is what drives you crazy and what they HAVEN'T done while they are on shift.  You are after all a Firefighter's Wife.

Inspired by Erin H.  in our Amazing group!  I needed some inpsiration

You know you're a firewife when...

your love notes are written on gauze packages and taped to the front door with medical tape. And it makes the 48 suck that little bit less!

Baby Steps to Save the Babies

My hubby was THRILLED to pick up some OT this weekend.  He is feeling SO out of touch with his career as a FF.  I was so happy that he wiggled his way back on his own engine, as well - as opposed to compressed air (where he was miserable with his OT last month). 

But, what made me even more happy??  One of his calls.  My husband must be amazing, I am finding that I hear more about his shifts than a lot of SOs.  One of his calls was to a woman with a breathing issue.  It was not his life saving measures or his calm nature in a crazy environment that sent me into a love-sick tizzy.  It was a question he asked a member of this household.  He noticed there was a woman with a baby.  My FF double checked to be sure she had a crib in house for the babe, and that she was using it.  I was so thrilled.  Even though I am working on it, there have not be an official measures taken to incorporate our FD into our infant mortality issues, my FF did.  He did not blow off my crusade, he took it to heart.  Which is exactly why he has my heart.


For those of you unaware of my crusade, please feel feed to read about it here or here or here.


Maybe all it takes is one guy noticing and doing the same thing the next time he sees a baby on a call. One guy notices him, who has one guy notice him...you get the idea.


I am still taking this on as my crusade.  I am still working to keep babies alive in Milwaukee.  Maybe it takes baby steps to save the babies.

Why I love my FF, Reason #78943