I hate feeling like a burden. Hate it. I am a stubborn mule, if I can't do it myself, it probably doesn't really need to be done. Not my best attribute, but it does, none-the-less, make up part of who I am. I can open the door and carry the groceries and get it from the top shelf all by myself. Except, now, I really can't. I can't go down to the bunker to grab some snacks, I can't stand long enough to get to the bathroom without pain - much less make dinner. Heck, I cannot even change my own pants alone.
If nothing else, this is a humbling experience.
My husband has been amazing. Never once has he said no. Never once has he made me feel like an interruption or a burden. He has just been wonderful. He is the most loving and patient man I have met. I see why he makes such an awesome med. His compassion and love for people flows deep and is genuine. You can't fake that. He has also learned how much I do around here. Laundry has been an issue and he is starting to see it. Enforcing chores and making sure they are done right. Meals - all the time. Getting dog food. It sounds like silly mundane day-to-day things, but he now has to do them. It is nice to know that he can see the other side of it now.
I have to learn that dog fuzz and messy counters can wait. I can't stand up to get it done and it will just have to wait. I have to ask for help getting in and out of shower and changing my underwear. The most simple and yet personal parts of my day, I cannot do alone. I have to ask for help.
Maybe this is also a time for me to learn to slow down. I have snuggled with my girls more than I have since school started. Chatted with my husband about nothing, more than usual. Maybe the Big Guy was saying, "LISTEN UP Girlie Girl. Time for you to reflect." And here I am reflecting...a lot.
|And I am a strong woman!|
My FF is back on shift today. It is our first day on our own without Daddy. BUT, it also means he'll be home with me during the day tomorrow. :) Wish me luck.
Kiss your FFs, snuggle with your muppets and enjoy your day. And when you need it, ask for help.