Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Fatty

I have never really heard that term used until we moved to this neighborhood.  I have heard it used by parents referring to their kids' eating habits, kid to kid, but for the first time it involved one of my kids.  And it broke my heart that it broke her heart.

I acknowledge that I am far from beautiful. I am ordinary at best.  The size 4 that I was in college and when we were married went away with the four children that I brought into our family.  I have laugh lines and stretch marks and scars and hair that no one can really put a color to.  But I am me and that is how I am.  I accept me and fully expect the world to accept me - as I am.  Not after I lose those 25# or when I look like I belong on the cover of a magazine.  As I am - the sarcastic, sassy, quick tempered and size 10 with red, no blonde, wait brown, nah - strawberry blonde hair that can go EVERYWHERE when the humidity takes over, Chuck Taylor wearing, waiting for the grunge movement to come back and bring my beloved flannel shirts back kind of gal.  If not, if you feel the need to fix me, please feel free to move on.  No need to apologize.  I wish you all the best.

Now, if you have met any of my children and seen them in swimsuits, you would ask if I actually fed them. And this discussion would seem nonsensical to you. I have worked really hard to instill in them that you accept people WHERE and HOW they are.  You love them for who they are not what they look like or what they can offer you.  To have any of them come to me and cry because they were too fat for someone else's expectations broke my heart.  

My youngest, you know, the micro-preemie who at the age of 5 and a half, is wearing her 9-12 month pants as capris.  Yeah, her.  She hit 34# this summer and I was THRILLED.  You know the, amazing little person who sees beauty everywhere she looks - from the early rays of sunlight when she gets up early with me, to the shadows that fall at bedtime. the little beauty that lights up the room simply by walking in it. That little one was the one coming to me because she was a fatty.  She asked if I would not buy Cheetos because they are what made her a fatty. I kinda giggled at her.  Ya, cause anyone would classify you as a fatty.  Apparently they did and she was serious.  My little girl cannot afford to go into the world with body image issues at the age of FIVE!  I will not have it.

WHAT IN THE H3!! are you are talking about child.  (Truly my first thought. Luckily, when I gave birth to my oldest my doc had the sense to install a censor.) 

Apparently, it was caused by jealousy -one of the older kids in the neighborhood was a bit envious that she had Cheetos and called her fatty to make her feel guilty about having them.

Fatty!

Yes, clearly, junk food consumed in large quantities will increase the chances of childhood obesity.  I get that.  We don't have them in the house too frequently because Daddy tends to munch on junk food which is bad when there is no one to monitor things and tell him enough.  Definitely more of a treat in our world.  Lunch usually comes with fruit or carrots/celery and a yogurt of some sort.  And I am the mean mommy that kicks everyone outside - for the entire day.  The run through the sprinkler and swing on the swings kind of mom.  There are no training wheels in the house and skateboards and in-line skates (thanks to that certain TM conscious firewife for chirping in my ear...you know who you are!) are becoming a preferred mode of transportation. Again, not that we only eat foods produced by the sweat of our brow, but I am very aware of how much crap my kids are consuming and I temper it with veggies and other healthy options later in the day. Soda is not allowed except on RARE occasions and then they split a can.  Water, milk - they eat well and exercise.  I am not a video game and DVD baby-sitting kind of mom, although we have them in the house.  We swing and play at the park and ride bikes.  We live life outdoors as much as possible, even in the winter.

And here I am dealing with an issue I thought I had nearly 10 years to prepare for.  Apparently not.  I really need to focus on the fact that they are indeed perfect just the way they are, the way they were created.  No one can make them feel bad, without letting them.  (Thank you, Mrs. Roosevelt!) And O - she's a miracle babe from the word go.  She already has that on her side.  The world falls in love with her at first sight.  She is beautiful - inside and out.  She loves the world and everyone and everything in it. The fact that anyone would tear that down, even if it is another child in a jealous moment, is devastating.  Especially over Cheetos. It will take so much to bring back the confidence that was torn down with one word. 

Fatty...
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