And now I am back at it.
|He has been there through it all.|
But, the endorphin rush was insane. I couldn't get enough. Finally one of the coaches pulled me aside and said enough. And I had to stop. Soccer helped relieve the stress, but it was never the same.
This past January, we joined a local gym. There were some strings attached, I could only go with him. I was not allowed to go alone and I was not allowed to stay longer than it took him to do his workout. The first day, I did the circuit and it felt good. And instantly I was back on the bike. 45 minutes, level 7 hills...on my first day back in YEARS. And it was GREAT. Then I broke my ankle...and it sent me into a bit of a depression. I have been begging my physical therapist to let me do SOMETHING!
Today was my day...mind you, just a recumbent bike, but it was amazing. Ten weeks later I am doing 40 minutes on the hills - only level 3, targeting 100 RPM. Until my FF came over and hit the cool down button. If looks could kill... He was watching me from the treadmill a few rows back, watching to make sure I did not bump up the levels after he yelled at me for already doing hills. (Truth be told, I started on Level 1 "fat burner" program...and it wasn't enough. It kept lowering the resistance when I went above my target heart rate. I bumped it up within 2 or 3 minutes. I needed the rush.)
But he was right to do so. I know that, I get that. We got some lunch and I admitted to him that I could go back again tonight. He looked at me and said, "You're HIGH! Your pupils! Oh, my, g-d, you're freakin' high. I can see it." And he's right. I was high. Runner's High is very real.
My name is Trina. I am a wife, a mother, a teacher, a woman and I am a junkie.
And I am sitting here trying to figure out how to talk him into going back with me for another round after the kids go to bed. I am working on my negotiating items. And, at the very same time, I am working on not negotiating at all. I really am. I am working on self restraint. Tomorrow is another day and tomorrow he will go with me again. But, I want to go now...
Luckily for me, my FF was there when I was younger, he saw how I get and he knows that exercise is my drug. It it not something I have to hide or be ashamed of. It is just part of me. Everything in moderation, I know that. But...it is a drug for me and it is calling my name. I am blessed to have him in my life.
I can move up to the elliptical soon...