The Next Journey of Our Lives

I knew it was coming.  Genetically it was only a matter of time.  We have seen J's parents deal with it, his uncle...and now it is our turn.

J failed his sleep study.

We knew this was coming.  He had one a few years ago and they said, "ehhh, not now, but probably pretty soon."  And here we are.  

I was giving him a hard time about leaving me alone on a non-shift day - he has been home for a week and a half.  And, I have gotten spoiled by having him there to sleep with every night.  I even gave him a hard time about leaving after dinner, because at least when he's gone all day "I don't notice you're not there."  <snicker> Poor guy.

He called me on my way in this AM, sounding kind of downtrodden about the whole scenario.  They woke him up at 2:30am to tell him he needed a CPAP for the rest of the study.  Not a good sign.  But, I knew it was coming.  So many nights when his snoring has woken me up, I spend the next few hours waiting for him to stop breathing so I can throw and elbow into his ribs.  Not a good thing when you get up at 4:30am.  And he wonders why I doze off at 9:30pm, while watching TV with him.  I can't wait for this to become normal and sleep to be my friend!

I look at it totally differently.  He is unhappy about his instant elephantitis.  Ehh, who cares.  If my babies were tough enough to use them in the NICU, my FF can man up and let me get some sleep!  If he can stay awake on a Sunday and watch more than a quarter of a Packer game with me, or he can get up before 10am on a Saturday or he is not grumpy about getting up to go to mass with me on the Sundays he is home, it so totally worth the fashion compromise.  It might even help with his depression.  I'm in.

He won't wear it to work, mainly because he really doesn't sleep enough to warrant it.  He's also concerned about how it get in the way with 2am tones.  That may change with time and a slower house.  I know there are a few guys on the engine with CPAPs and it is just part of life.

So Thankful For My Internal Clock

I woke up this morning at 4:19, wishing I could have slept the next 11 minutes I had left before my alarm.  I got up, went to the bathroom - which is what woke me up in the first place and realized I did not charge my phone last night. I plugged in my phone and it said it was 5:23.

WHAT??!!

I checked the FF's phone and it said the same thing.  

I literally ran into the kitchen and checked the clocks on the microwave and the stove.  

<sigh>  They all agreed with my phone. And it is now nearing 5:30. <sigh>

I woke J up and pleaded with him to get the kids ready for me, since I needed to leave SOON!

We figured out why - my FF had 77 things on the same circuit and blew it last night (while I was recording Charlie Brown's Christmas).  And I fell asleep on the couch.  When I looked at the clock in the bedroom, it didn't NOT make sense that it was that was that time.  

I hate waking up in a panic like that.  Usually when I do, it is 30 minutes after I went to bed and I SWEAR I have slept all night.

We were out the door by 6:05 am.  I was pretty impressed with the flexibility of my muppets and how my FF just took over clothes and lunches and...got us out the door.

I am so glad, for once, that I am always awake by 5:30am.

I will be happy for this week to be over, to be home tonight to hug my FF and say thank you.  Make sure you do the same.  

Happy almost Friday!

Another Bad Day

It is rough being in 1st grade.  You are a big girl, doing big girl things.  But sometimes...you kinda fall apart and become mommy's baby again.

That was my D this AM.

Today is a Sun Day Fun Day for her class.  They don't have to wear their uniform, they can bring a stuffed animal.  There are games to bring joy.  

But, at 7:15 in the AM, it has already crumbled.

She and her sister destroyed their room last night.  So as I was cleaning it up at FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING, I said she had to wear uniform bottoms.  She is in a navy skirt - with adorable tights.  But no jeans. Mean Mommy. 

And, the teddy bear from her grandma that she was so excited to bring to school...got left at home.  I picked it up when I noticed she forgot it, but I must have set it down when I noticed something else was forgotten.  It was just not in the car.  And we live 2 counties away,  Daddy is not bringing it down.

So, I left my little big girl in tears at Before Care at school.  We were running late from other shenanigans this morning, so the lovely mommy that is running Before Care at our Lower Campus took over the comforting role for me.  And I was responsible, getting to work on time.  And it sucked.

I hope it gets better.  I hate leaving her that way.

It's Wednesday.  Friday needs to get here.  Hug your muppets, especially if they are having a bad day.  Kiss your FFs and remind them how much you love them.

Naughty Teachers

Love notes on my front door on gauze pad packaging.
Doesn't get more romantic than that!

Found it!

I have always said that teachers are the worst students.  Today we had 6+ hours of Doctrine inservicing.  By the third presenter's 2nd hour, we were lost.  We got into our discussion groups and got off track, but not totally. We were talking about love and distance. And they asked how it impacted our world.  I started looking for a picture I have of us "having dinner" with the fireman.  It as during that stretch this summer of like 5 million 48s in a row.  Okay, maybe that million part was an exaggeration, but I do think it was 5 48s in a row.  We were missing Daddy hard core and so we called him on ooVoo and set him up on the dining room table so we could eat dinner "together."  I have a picture of it and was looking through my phone to try and find it.  I could not find it, but I did notice that nearly all of my pictures of Daddy and the kids from this past summer involve bunker gear or the firehouse.  It amazed me how much time he spent away from us.

Firehouse Ice Cream tastes so much better than the ice cream at home!

Surprise!

The teacher is still in those bunkers!

Dang tones - we were only there 2 minutes - literally.

HEO in training??

3rd of July Fireworks downtown, stopping by to see Daddy

The crazy fireworld even influences the fashion sense in this house!

And then I realized...

these are the memories my kids will take with them into their own families and tell their children.  My kids and these pictures, these are the memories that they are creating, with their Daddy - at the firehouse.  It is part of our world and his home away from home.  Those FFs are his family just as much as we are.  And that needs to be preserved, just as much as the memories created in our backyard.

Amazing how inspiration and revelation strikes when we are off task.  Something I need to remind myself of in my classroom!!

Hug your muppets and kiss your firefighters.  Be thankful and loving of them, even if the distance gets annoying.  

Happy Monday!

I Need my FF to Come Home - like NOW!

Aside from the fact that since Monday, I have seen him for 2 evenings - 1 of which was my step-father's funeral, 1 car drop off and 2 minutes outside the house as he switched firehouses yesterday.  It is 3:19am on Monday, and I have been up since 2:30am trying to get back jaw back in place.  I dislocated it in a coughing fit and I am in pain.

Sigh.  

So, considering he gets called by dispatch for sore muscles from the previous day's workout, think it would be legit if I called and asked them to send him to me??  I am drooling all over myself, I can't yawn, coughing and sneezing is killing me.  I keep hoping if I just relax it will slip back in.

Have I told you that I hate Mondays??



I gave up right after this post and went in to the ER that is just a few blocks away.  I am guessing pretty soon they will know us by name if we keep  this pace up.  I went in with an offering envelope that had our address and added my first name, DOB and phone number.  They figured out the issue pretty quickly - the bulge by my ear that was my jawbone was a pretty good indicator, I guess.   Took care of me with some muscle relaxants and some manipulation.  So, I am tired at work.  But no longer drooling all over myself.  The day has improved!

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I think my husband changed his name to Alexander.  In case you are not up on your Kiddie Literature, this was my N from about 4 year-old kindergarten until the end of 5th grade when he started to emerge less grumpy.  Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day written by Judith Viorst and illustrated by Ray Cruz.
Here's part 1:

So, let me tell you how my FF channeled his inner Alexander on Saturday.  The nice weather prompted my husband to take out the hedges that we have talked about removing since we moved in.  There were clearly several signs that yesterday was NOT the day, and they were ignored.  Bear with me, it will make you laugh is disbelief.

The first sign was when he could not originally take them out with the truck and the tow rope.  Not to be deterred, J cut them down with the chainsaw, life is good.  But he wanted the stumps out - TODAY! No planning, no renting a stump grinder.  He can do it himself.  Being stubborn, he tried digging them out.  Almost instantly, his spade broke. (sign #2) So, he tied the towropes to the first stump, it came out easily.  Tied them to the second one, not so easily.  Just as I was coming out to tell him not to worry about, one of the tow ropes snapped and went right through the back window of his truck, damaging his tailgate. (sign #3)  And if that was STILL not enough, after returning from the junk yard to see if there was a replacement available and the hardware store to replace his broken spade, he was trying to loosen the roots with a pick ax.

Yes, a pick ax!

He misjudged his distance from the window (no it is still in one piece - much to my surprise) hit the cement window sill and ricocheted off  the window sill and hit him in the head - with the PICK side of the pick ax.  (Sign #4 - NEON BILLBOARD!)  With days like this, I am oh so grateful we are only blocks from the Hospital. I am also glad he didn't lose consciousness.  Do you know how fast this would have made its way through the department if I had to call 911??!!

He is doing fine, a few staples later.  He had a nasty headache when he woke up.  And since we are in the middle of a 48 - he needs to OT to pay for his window - I am not sure how he is doing today.

So, as always, hug your kids and kiss your firefighters, especially if they are having a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!

Hedge - 4  Firefighter - 0

(in case you are keeping score)

 

Just in case you were wondering

I am still alive.

Things have been a bit insane, hence no posts in like FOREVER!

My FF... yeah about him. I think that is a post for another day.  Let's just say that this past  Saturday was a TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD  day and I will tell you all about it tomorrow...once I get through our 48/N's Christmas Concert/ my last minute Open House tonight.  I guarantee you will be laughing in disbelief and thanking the Lord you are not me.

Admit it, you're a tiny bit jealous!

Work, INSANE.  My Social Justice class wants to bring our class's teachings to life.  And how do you say no??  So, I have indeed spent my time sleeping in cardboard spaceships in 30 degree weather, stuffing buses with food and planning to dress girls around the world with pillow cases.  We are making differences in small steps, but still making differences.  And it takes a TON of time to make that difference.  And through in my history classes, final projects and papers and you have an official bout of Crunch time going on.

A group of my Fire Wife friends and myself worked really hard to help make the LODDs that Chicago has suffered through a little less horrific.  I don't know if we were successful, but we all came away a bit more aware (as if we really needed to be) at how quickly they  can be ripped from our hands.  Please send your thoughts to CFD, the Patmon family and the Johnson family, they are in need of it.


My school's auction was also in this time frame.  We literally shut the world down and people work nearly 'round the clock to bring this to life.  My 9/11 memorial picture went in the "Buy It Now" option within minutes of the auction opening.  My N was an amazing server and really worked his tail off.

And, sadly, my stepfather passed very unexpectedly last Wednesday in their cabin up north.  My mom's heart is broken, but, truth be told, if you have to leave this world, peacefully in your sleep next to your best friend is the way to go.  Please send your prayers to her.  We will have his memorial down here tomorrow and up north at their cabin this weekend.  But, this tragedy, too, has pulled me away from this blog.  Wednesday I literally drove the entire length of the state - from the WI/IL border to the WI/MI border, in one morning.  I am so glad I checked my phone during the retreat.

So, I promise I will find my way back to my blog.  

Until then, hug your kids and kiss your FFs.  Life is too short to not cherish every moment with them.