Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Sorry, You Don't Get to Do That!

Great, you shared a bed with your baby and they didn't die. But what about those who did.  Just because your baby survived the game of Russian Roulette you are playing with her life, does not make it okay to promote it for others.  Wonderful, you bonded with your baby because you shared a bed.  So did I and they slept in a crib.  You don't get to tell me what a selfish lazy mommy I must have been.  You just DON'T!!


You don't get to judge me because I am actively pushing for safe sleeping in one of Milwaukee's poorest neighborhoods.  You DON'T get to call me a bad mommy because I let my babies develop the self-confidence to sleep alone.   YOU DON'T GET TO JUDGE ME!  Keep your malicious comments to your own Facebook page.  If you don't agree with the research and the stories on Pleasant Dreams, Sleep Tight, then move along sister, no one is keeping you here.  YOU DON'T GET TO CALL ME A BAD MOMMY BECAUSE I DID NOT BREAST FEED MY BABIES.  What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?  Obviously leaving them with out a mommy because I suffered ANOTHER 28 minute tonic-clonic seizure because I did not take my meds so I could safely breast feed my baby would be against AMA.  Oh yeah, my docs also frown on not taking my bp meds and aspirin...something about a heart attack or stroke or something.  Funny thing those prolapsed valves.  My children are all bonded to me, a bit more than I would like some days, like when I am grading papers and there are 2 on my lap smiling.  My super uterus brought my littlest into the world with a super cord, when conventional wisdom said the cerclage were NEVER hold so late in the pregnancy.  YOU DON'T GET TO JUDGE.   Yeah, you glowed through your whole pregnancy, once you got past the 'vaoprs' brought on by the first tinges of naseau.  Me, nope, I glowed from the violent vomiting for my entire pregnancies, oh wait, that was sweat and tears.  Zofran became my buddy and cut my hospitalizations by half once it was approved for OB patients.


We have a problem in Milwaukee.  BABIES ARE DYING.  Our infant mortality rate rivals that of developing countries and some third world countries.  Instead of calling me names, FIND A FRICKING SOLUTION!  Sorry you are offended by the ad campaign that came out this week.  GUESS WHAT?  As they were unveiling that ad campaign, firefighters were working on a 7 week-old who died from a  co-sleeping death.  How is that for tragic irony?  IT WAS A PREVENTABLE DEATH!  Stop judging, stop name calling and help.  If shock and awe saves a life, I am all for it.  As much enjoyment as you got out of posting that crap on my FB page, I got just as much out of it by deleting your post and blocking you from the page.  You are not helping anyone.  Be part of the solution, not a noisy clucking hen.


Google (or just click on the links) Milwaukee Infant Mortality rates or 53210 infant deaths or co-sleeping deaths Milwaukee and tell me what your great idea is to reverse this trend.  Make a difference, not a judgement.  You are not the Big Guy.  He will be the judge of me.  Get off your damn high horse and save a baby's life. 

6 comments:

  1. Sing it, Sister! Amen! I agree completely. And I pity those who have to judge so strongly. The hubster when to a SIDS baby about a week before ours was born. Here's to saving more babies!

    ReplyDelete
  2. amen! we have to do whatever it takes to save our babies!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Are we FB friends, Trina? I can't remember.

    A couple days ago a FB aquaintance of mine posted a slam against the Milwaukee ad campaign.

    She's alot different kind of mother/person than me and I don't agree with alot she believes in, but usually I just pass her posts on by. I figure they are her kids to raise or ruin as she believes best.

    But I couldn't even believe the kind of things she believes about co-sleeping.
    She said,"You've got to be kidding me. I love that they claim they're doing this because their infant mortality rates are higher than many third world countries. Guess where most babies sleep in third world countries? Yep. With their parents. Next to them, snuggled close, so Mom can wake up if something's wrong."

    People like her feel they are so "worldly" and "enlightened", and I was like, really? She's comparing American mothers to third-world mothers? She's living in some kind of rainbow tinted bubble, I think?

    I posted that for she reasons she may not be aware of, co-sleeping in America is extremely dangerous. Ask a firefighter. Ask as firefighter's wife, who has to deal with the aftermath of him having to deal with these tragedies.

    An ER nurse posted right behind me saying basically the same thing.

    This was her response "Tami and Mel, I can appreciate your perspectives, but more children die of SIDS than of being smothered by a mom while cosleeping"

    I don't know where she gets her statistics (or whom the findings benefit) but from my own personal knowledge, I think those numbers are skewed. In the 25 years my husbands been in the fire/EMS service, he has ran more accidently smothered babies than he has SIDS babies.
    It's not a great big number, probably less than a dozen altogether, but that's just our relatively small area.
    And obviously those statistics aren't correct for Milwaukee.

    I dropped out of the discussion after that because obviously it was a waste of my time and effort.
    Isn't it ironic, though, how all these so-called "enlightened" people are really so small- and closed-minded? Everything is black-or-white to them, and the rest of us are ignorant.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know. I had to stop a discussion on the Pleasant Dreams FB page, I can't have Dr. Sears being tossed at me any more. I was looking for solutions. Not lectures. One woman told me to give them literature on Dr. Sears' safe sleep methods. Like the Health department has not tried that. I took a step back because I was losing sleep and people were getting to me with the names and insults. Bottom line, our babies are dying. A cultural change has to come about and if it takes shocking billboards, I am okay with it. It makes me physically ill. I started working with a public health nurse to see what can be done.

    What everyone needs to realize about third world countries - they often sleep on the floors, so there is no wall for the baby to get smothered when the bed shifts, there are no fluffy comforters or down pillows. That makes a difference.

    Through this crusade of mine I have met probably 8 or 9 of those co-sleeping mommies who lost babies and have made a 180. Why does it take a tragedy to see what these EXPERTS in the APA have been telling us for years?

    On a personal level, my grandmother is one of those. "I can't believe any of you survived..."

    I hope the insults don't burn me out.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So what do I do, head over to my Pleasant Dreams page and continue a discussion after being called 'ridiculous'. Ah well. LOL

    If you want to be FB friends send me your email at mfd.wife.trina at gmail . com . My FB is hidden with being a teacher. :D

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...