But, they are all inconveniences. Things that annoy us because HE is not here to help deal with the headaches, but they are just that...headaches.
Tonight was different. I went to bed early, I wasn't feeling good. I sent a text to my hubby. When he got back in, I saw that left me a feel better message.I fell asleep watching last night's Smash. I have no idea what time it was. The next thing I know, there is an all dog alert. My boys go running and barking like crazy down the stairs. A key...in the door. Someone was futzing with the lock and the kitchen door opened.
My dogs are big, loud and protective and got out the door. My purse from the island is the only loss. AND for some reason my wallet was upstairs. I think one of the kids may have taken it upstairs to my room when we cleared the table for dinner, it must have fallen out. I let them chase whomever it was out my back door. They are lucky they got the gate to close, my boys would have followed them forever to protect their flock. It is the nature of the breed. I found my phone in the mud, when I went back out just to check to make sure the gate was locked.So, I am here at 4:23 am. I called into work, sleeplessness and stress lead to seizures. I need to get the locks changed and probably talk to the management company about who has keys. I thought we had them change the locks when we moved in. I need to get the kids off to school with some sense of normalcy. I have every light on downstairs. Bear is following me everywhere, literally laying across the bathroom door when I have to go potty. I wish my FF was here. The kids slept through the chaos. I have to decide how much to tell them and how much to leave out. I have to stress not only closing the gate so the boys don't get out, but locking it...all without alarming them.
And I have to make myself feel safe in my own home again. How do I do that? Especially when every 48 hours, I a responsible for keeping my kids safe and secure.
I'm so sorry. That must have been terrifying. I don't know how to feel safe again, but I hope you find a way!
ReplyDeleteChances are they won't be back, my pack saw to that. But, I might have to hit you up for a purse. It was my only one. :) I have had 2 in the last 15 years. I have only religiously carried one for the last two years. My iPod is gone and the kids' custard coupons from Culver's, but it could have been much worse.
ReplyDeleteI think I will be keeping a bball bat nearby though... :D
I have a machete! It's yours for the taking :)
ReplyDeleteOMG Trina, how scary!! Thank goodness for your boys!
ReplyDeleteDo you have anyone that could come spend the night with you on those nights for a little while?
I had a bit of a scare one time, a druggie came onto the carport looking to steal some tire rims. I scared him off, but was afraid he'd come back that night. FF got his BFF to come spend the night on the couch with his rifle. But unfortunately the druggie never came back.
After that I bought one of those little sensor things we put on the carport and if someone entered the carport it alerted me inside the house and turned on a light.
Plus we got automatic light sensors in our outdoor lights, so they pop on if anyone comes to any of the doors, like someone saw them coming and turned the light on.
My Dad has those faux video survellience cameras hanging on one of their houses, and you can buy from ebay (or steal from someone local) an Alarm company sign and stick in your yard as a deterrent.
I have a pistol on my bedside table, my son has a pistol, and my husband has a shotgun by the bedroom door, but I don't want intruders to get in far enough to have to use them. So I do my best to let them know they better stay out to start with.
Oh, I am so sorry you had to got thru that! Thank goodness for the dogs though.
ReplyDeleteWe also have a herd protector (Anatolian mix, but behavior is 100% Anatolian), so I know what you mean. I've often wondered what would happen if someone dared to enter the home while we were home.
We actually had a break in about a year ago, but the dogs chased them away either before they got in the door, or before they took anything. The only evidence was the wide open back door when we got home (that we're both 100% sure was closed & latched, and 99% sure was locked).
The dogs help me feel safe, and I've decided I want protection breeds from here on out.
Again, so sorry you're going thru this.
{{ hugs }}
Almost three years ago, with a two year old and a 9 month old asleep, I went to talk up to be at midnight.
ReplyDeleteMy small, but feisty CoJack came running running down the stairs, bardging past me, which was odd. He goes to sleep early. EARLY.
Next thing I know, our alarm is blaring. Panic strikes.
I raced to the top of the stairs and put both boys in one room. I grabbed the land line to call 911. The phone was nothing but static. It became real.
Someone was here, and they were in my house. My FF was not.
I punched the panic button on the alarm, closed the baby gate and grabbed the portable phone as a weapon. I waited at the end of the hallway, blocking the only door to my children, on the cell phone to 911, for what seemed like an eternity.
I could hear my pulse in my ears. I wa having chest pains. I think I told the 911 call taker that I was having a heart attack.
The police arrived. They searched my house and found the outside garage man door open. Probably left that way as they fled.
My parents arrived as the police were clearing.
They stayed awake with me for the rest of the night.
So began my terrible habit of not sleeping during his nightshifts, and if I do, very VERY lightly.
And from what I hear, pretty much every FF and Police wife can relate.
That is exactly how I feel. I just don't sleep well and last night I did not sleep at all.
DeleteI am so sorry that happened, I know how scary that is. And it sucks to not feel safe in your own home.
It does suck to feel unsafe. It's actually infuriating.
ReplyDeleteAnd here I am again, awake at 1:54am, sitting guard over two boys, barely breathing, worried and scared.
Does it ever change?
I have gotten better, but it has not gone away - by any stretch of the imagination. The dogs go on high alert when J is working and therefore so am I. I had one of those nights last week and I slept maybe 2 hours over the course of the night. If you need someone to chat with (esp when these nights hit), I am usually up - send me an email mfd dot wife dot trina at gmail.com and we can discuss schedules and such. Hang in there.
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