Too Hot to Handle: Life!

Friday, July 19, 2013

Life!

And not the fun part of it, either. The stressful, why was I in such a hurry to grow up again? kind of life. It has taken over and I am so fighting to take it back and not become a soul sucking entity. It has distracted me from my writing (I have FIVE started posts sitting there waiting for my attention.), from the Muppets, from my FF, from the polar bears...and it officially SUCKS!

You know you need to snap out of it when your 7 year-old
brings you these.

I am doing better than I was two nights ago and better than I was yesterday. I will be happy when I get my groove back from the life that has stolen it so I can live fully again.

Until then, bear with me...

2 comments:

CompatibleWithJoyJuly 19, 2013 at 8:38 AM
Sending hugs, my friend. Having some of those moments here, too.
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I AM

Taken from "The Fireman's Wife" by Susan Farren

I am thank ful. This has not always been an easy walk for me.

I am disappointed. We have missed family gatherings, weddings, dinner engagements, birthday parties, and holidays because of shift schedules and overtime.

I am patient. There have been dinners spent at the firehouse waiting for Daddy to return from a call while the kids get cranky and the food gets cold.

I am nervous. I awake at 3:00 A.M. hearing creaks in the house and don't have the comfort of my husband beside me.

I am tired. The house is full of sick kids and there is no relief in site because Daddy is on a seventy-two-hour shift.

I am jealous. Jealous of all the women whose husbands came home at 5:00 P.M. to have dinner and hold them at the end of their day.

I am worried. I worry that he may not come home one day. This I try to tuck away.

I am content. We have decided to give up my career so I can stay home and raise our children. We no longer have an abundance of money or things. It is the greatest freedom I have ever known.

I am incompetent.There was a time when I considered myself moderately intelligent. I now struggle to remember where I left my car keys, the diaper bag, and, occasionally, the baby.

I am waiting. Knowing the phone may one day ring for me.

I am doubting. Doubting that God hears all my prayers. Doubting I am the kind of wife and mother He needs me to be.

I am trusting. Trusting that my husband will come home again.

I am confident, I am embarrassed, I am lonely, I am surprised, I am overworked, I am underpaid.

I am...The Fireman's Wife.