I feel like such a grinch. We have been discussing when the best time is talk to B about Santa. He will be going into middle school next year. My high school kids are very patient and sensitive to issues like this, but the middle school kids downstairs - they are way too busy trying to be "grown" and could care less who they trample on. We have one 7th grader that I know still believes and N has worked very hard to shield him from the nay sayers, for which I am very proud of him. But the middle schoolers are viscous.
B will be in that same boat and I am not sure if there will be anyone to shield him from the verbal abuse. I don't want to ruin his Christmas, so we won't be saying anything now. I thought maybe a Christmas in July celebration where I could pull him aside and have a talk over a root bear float or something.
With N, you could hear in his questions and statements that someone had gotten to him and he knew. But when we talked to him and told him the amazing thing about what he now knew was that he became Santa. HE got to help carry on the spirit and traditions of the season for the little ones. I had this beautiful speech in my head and this glorious happy family moment.
Te Reality is never so Norman Rockwell-esque.
YOU LIED TO ME! ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE BEEN LYING AND BETRAYING ME!
Yeah, an all out tears and screaming MELTDOWN. And N's meltdowns (thank GOD they have subsided) are not pretty.
And it was J's first year on, so guess who got to deal with the fallout ALL BY HERSELF. Yup, that would be me. I was never so grateful for the Christmas to be over.
B on the other hand, I think truly believes. For a bit, I thought he was trying to make sure I knew he still "believed". You know, to make sure he still got his Santa presents. But, as I am sitting here in the darkness of my bedroom on this kind of lazy Saturday morning and I hear him talking to his sisters, watching Rudolf. AND HE STILL BELIEVES! He is LOVING the Elf on the Shelf and sees himself as the resident Santa expert. It is so adorable.
So, now, how do you politely and thoughtfully burst that bubble? I will probably put a speech together and NOT do it during the Christmas season. J thinks he will handle it so much better than his brother. And he probably will. He is much more of a go with the flow kind of a guy. It will probably be okay. We have another girl on the compound in the same spot. Maybe a Compound Christmas in July event where we have a middle school kids only pow-wow or something.
But B is the embodiment of the season - family, giving, faith and service. He is the Christmas season.
Hug your muppets and kiss your FF. Keep the spirit of Santa, of giving alive throughout the season and the year.
Please join me as work to make sense of my life as a fire wife. This is his TRUE calling. He was a tremendous elementary school teacher, but this is definitely where he sees himself happy. This is my journey to acceptance and support for my husband's dream job come true. Real, sometimes raw and almost uncensored. "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. . . when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. . .for I am the Lord your God"
Saturday, December 8, 2012
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I had this talk with my oldest before she hit middle school. Well, the FF blurted out "There is no Santa, I AM SANTA!"... tactful, yet? He isn't very compassionate, kind of tell it like it is...
ReplyDeleteShe took it pretty well. Felt a little lied to but she now refers to ME as Santa but is glad to play along for little sissy.
I would wait until after Christmas... enjoy this last year of belief and innocence.
Awwwwww!!! That's all I can say!!!
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