Good old high school drama

It never ends, does it?  <sigh>  And I can't even vent about it!  <double sigh>  My poor husband, stuck hearing about it all by himself.  I should find a less stressful job, like an ER nurse or a bomb squad member or... <sigh>

It is never easy being the teacher's kid

My poor N does not like homework. LOVES school, hates homework.  Since he was in 4 year-old Kindergarten and was supposed to learn how to write, he has seen homework as beneath him.  "Mom, when I am a world famous paleontologist, my assistant will write everything for me."  I kid you not, out of the mouth of babes.  Not good when for the boy when your parents are teachers AND  your Daddy teaches in your school.  Fast forward seven years and he's a 6th grader in my building now, we are the Upper Campus (6-12).  He will be here, with me for another SEVEN years!  Email in my school email from a school teacher in my building yesterday evening...

N has some late math assignments.  They are: 

P. 145 - due today but he did not follow the directions and got them all wrong, so he decided not to hand it in and re-do it.

P. 136p. 101p. 68football line plots.  

If you could reinforce my message to get the late work in before Friday so I do not have to report on late assignments at conferences, I would appreciate it.

Sigh.  And since J has so much homework himself in PM classes, that leaves me to be the hammer. Double sigh.  In between brainstorming ideas for post-prom, grading papers, soothing my crying 3 year-old who hates school, making dinner because I forgot to put stuff for the crock-pot together, ugh.  Sigh again.

It was a cold rainy Saturday night...

and my FF and I headed out of the house.  Heels and a dress, pearls.  J's sister watching the kids until bedtime when our oldest feels confident to take over.  Where are we off to?  Dinner, dancing, the theatre?  Nope, a Homecoming dance.  My kids BEGGED and BEGGED me to chaperone and I gave in.  J usually joins me and tonight was no different.  We make our way to the school and into the gym.  The Senior Class president yells from the balcony, "Hey, H______!!!  How do you like my sad little balloon arches!"  and laughs.  They would not stay up.  We admired the pictures from the last 50+ years that the kids had blown up and put all over.  Laughed at the gaggle o' nuns from the 50s, fully habited in the stands for a basketball game.  Chatted with the other staff members.  It started out very well.

The kids came in, stopped at the photo booths for goofy pictures, came screeching to show me they dresses, the guys game to strut.  So funny.  About 8:30pm, I looked at my husband and fussed about how slow the night was going.  Oh my goodness, I know better than to say that.  I am a FF Wife for crying out loud.  I chided my hubby the night before when told how slow it had been all day.  Sure enough, as soon as he hung with me it was run after run after run.  Why would I actually say something like that out loud?? Me and my big mouth!


Fifteen minutes later, one of my kids pulled me aside.  "H, you need to do something about Suzy, she is REALLY drunk!" And so it began.  Now, mind you, I was not in charge. Our admin left, the student council advisers were at a loss as to what to do. I am junior class adviser, I am in charge of prom, not homecoming. <sigh>  This always happens.  One of the deputies that I was working with looked at me and said, "You may not want to be in charge, but I think you are anyway."  Yes, yes I was. <sigh> I ended up pulling out 18 kids.  I tested every kids whose name was brought to me.  There were no favorites.  8 blew positive. It changed the whole mood of the dance.  We lost our star QB a week ago for something similar, now my kids were upset that two more of our boys were gone.  There were tears and pleads.  Phone calls were made.  Let me tell you, 11 o'clock came really fast after that!  May I just say that the off-duty sheriff deputies that acted as our security were WONDERFUL!  They came with me when I spoke to parents.  I am used to the "Not my baby" reaction and was a bit nervous since I had not come to the dance with the mindset of being and admin.

I found Sunday that I missed one.  And it was obvious, I should have thought to test the one I missed, a date should have popped into my head to check.  I am a bit disappointed that I did not think of it.  I know I think fast on my feet, but that was an obvious blunder.  A phone call was made home and at least she got home.

I did not sleep well Saturday night because all I could think about was who I missed.  It was dark, it was rainy.  What if that text came in that they HAD to check and when the looked up, there was that car, that pole, that tree?  What if?  Sunday morning, there was a news report of a teen involved in a high speed chase not far from us.  My heart stopped, my stomach sank and the what ifs came back.  Later in the morning, more details came out, it was a stolen car from another area.  But the "what ifs" still hovered.

Yesterday was an interesting day, full of private conversations in my classroom, tears, rumors and some guilt. Surprisingly, no backlash or blame.  I was fully prepared for that. I was fully prepared for anger, how could yous, you ruined my life.  Mind you, my kids are not back from their suspensions.  I would SO much rather have them be pissed off at me as opposed to helping plan for grief counseling and a memorial service at the school.   I am so okay with them being angry at me. There are now plans for a mock accident, they want to make it real.  Many of my kids have ties with the FD down here, I think we can get some cars donated, that already wrecked.  The kids are taking the lead.  They see a need and they are working to fill it.  How great is that.

Parents, please remind your teens not to drink and drive.  The weather and roads were horrible, I can only imagine what might have been.  Have the conversations, no matter how awkward.  It is our job as parents.

Sorry to be grumpy

I really dislike Homecoming.  We never had it in high school.  We didn't have a football team.  When I went back to my high school they created a "Spirit Week" to fill the void, but so not the same.  When I came to teach at a high school with a football team and with a homecoming week, I was almost giddy.  Last year I was deprived of the pleasure. I had to help the 6-8 (we are a PreK-12 school) with their middle school olympics.  I was grumpy.  I wanted to participate.  I wanted to play tug-o-war and be at the powderpuff game.  I sulked.  But, I will admit I had SO much fun with the olympics, especially since my team of 8th graders were as cut-throat competitive and WE WON.  That breakfast was delicious! Mmm Mmm good!


This year, I am with the high school kids and I am MISERABLE!  Even though I taught HS last year, this year I feel as though I am really pulling teeth.  The activities have been a zoo.  My juniors have a quiz today and they BEGGGGGGGGEDDD me to let them come in early and take it.  They wandered in anywhere from 10-30 minutes after we agreed on a time.  (which is really frustrating since it is a BLUE shift and I have to get everyone up, moving and out the door by myself.)  Unfortunately, I have to get my kids to the lower campus.  Sorry.  Now you'll have to make it up on your time.  Hate to be that teacher, I can't always be the one everyone loves.  Ah well.  Somehow I will find a way to go on.

So, now the principal is babysitting my study hall so I can fly home over study hall and my lunch hour and let the pups out.  6am-10pm is absolutely inhumane.  Thank the Lord, I have a wonderful administrator.  I have to pick up the 2 little muppets from their picnic at 1:30pm, meet the girl whose dad is storing the float.  Have her follow me to drop off my car at the football field.  Go pick up the juniors' float that I am somehow driving.  Get it ready for the parade with my muppets in the car with me.  Do the parade, do the tailgate, do the game, get home, let the pups out again, put my exhausted muppets to bed and somehow find a way to unwind.  Just in time to get ready to do it over again tomorrow.  I mean what is homecoming without a dance?  And what is a dance without everyone's favorite chaperone?

A Wife on a Mission

I was sent on a mission.  We live in a city famous for its kringle.  My FF's last shift for a few months is tomorrow.  After that, we are on a 9-5 schedule, which my fire wife friends have told me I will hate after the first week.  Aside from that I was sent for treats for the firehouse simple mission - Kringle for the AM and pies for after dinner.  How hard can it be?  I got pies in no time flat.  Kringle was another story.  Every one I picked up was a NUT Kringle  - Almond, Walnut, Pecan.  No fruit, no chocolate.  I was afraid I was going to come home a failure.  It has been a crazy week  - teaching through an afro and beard, tug-o-wars, powder puff football, boys who have no idea how to play volleyball, float building - just a LOONEY week.  I couldn't come home a failure.  I found some strip kringles, never knew they existed, in other flavors and snatched them up.  I grabbed the few other things I went for and headed home.

I got home, my FF hubby shook his head and said, "Ehh, I didn't care what kind you got."  Why was I worried again?

So, tomorrow, King and Queen are announced.  Papa takes the toddler.  The other 3 muppets and drive the Juniors "Peace, Love and Rock n Roll" float.  A tailgate party, a football game and a dance the next night.  Sunday to rest?  HA - not even close.

Happy Homecoming!

Wordless Wednesday

Because there really are no words for this...gotta love Homecoming.

UGH, I hate Mondays.

Cloudy, dreary, hungry - even though I wolfed down a bowl of cereal, Moodle won't play nice.  I want my jammies, my pups, my bed and the remote.  Think that can happen????  Nope.  And on top of just being a Monday, it is Homecoming. I am participating in spirit day, even though my spirits seem to be limited at the moment.  Today is tacky day and I am dressed like Penelope Garcia, for you Criminal Minds aficionados - Green and Grey striped tights, braided pigtails, green - very green - eye shadow and I am even wearing my glasses.  I love Garcia!

Giovanni

Two months ago we lost our Curly Q.  It broke my heart, but it does every time we say goodbye to one of our pack.  I think it hit Bear the hardest.  Curly was the one to show Bear the ropes, Curly was the one to play and wrestle with Bear, up until the very end.

Bear has bounced back and was feeling a little frisky.  Two weeks ago, we were outside.  Out of no where, he came running at me and swatted me in the back of the head.  As I turned around, Bear immediately dropped into  play bow.  He was ready to play!  J and I talked that night, it is time for another k9.  Willow is just too old and cranky for Bear.  Her hips hurt and she doesn't want to play anymore.  Bear needs someone.  So we called the rescue.

Carole and everyone at the Great Pyrenees Rescue of WI are just amazing.  She is so patient with these gentle giants.  We originally looked at a 9 month old female.  After some thought, we decided she might have too much baggage. With other dogs and kids, there were just too many risks involved.  So we looked at a pair of 8 month old brothers.  Unfortunately, they were as dopey as they were beautiful.  Bear told them "enough" and they just didn't get it. So, Carole suggested J look at Giovanni.

Giovanni is a 3 year-old.  He was part of a pack of 25 (can you imagine) in California.  He definitely had a guardian angel.  He got hit by a car, the same day that a group of traveling vets was coming to the annual check ups on the pack.  His rear right leg was dangling by just a tendon.  It was not good.  Giovanni allowed them to pick him up, no growling no snapping.  He was brought back to Madison by on of the vets.  She has rehabbed him personally since May.  Unfortunately, her apartment was just not big enough for this gentle giant and she turned him over to GPRW.  She is definitely one of the angels among us. She has given this beautiful boy his life and his confidence back.  His leg does not slow him down.

Here is the amazing part.  The other two pups, have accepted him like he has always been here.  All three are sleeping at my feet as we speak.  Bear is not feeling threatened.  Giovanni is feeling like he has a need to challenge.  Let's hope this continues.  This is exactly how things went when we brought Curly into our pack.  Maybe Curly sent us Giovanni.

I Love My Birthday

I have no issues getting old.  That does not bother me.  I simply say thank you for every day and every year I am still here.  The old jokes, ehh I laugh at first, by the end of the day I have tuned them out.  I will never lie about my age.  36 is officially the prime of life.

In recent years, my hubby has made my b-day awesome.  Nothing too spectacular.  No amazing presents.  Just dinner of my choice and a birthday cake.  The cake is my favorite part.  Again, nothing spectacular.  I love the "Happy Birthday, Mommy!" in frosting.  It is the best time of the year.  The cake, the kids' laughter, the family time.  That is the best gift I could ever ask for.

This year was no different.  My birthday falls on a Blue Shift - shocking, I know.  My lovely hubby remedied that by taking his PO on my bday.  Sweet and smart, all at the same time.  Hearing the muppets sing happy birthday off-key with MONSTER smiles on their faces, makes my heart just melt. Balloons and brownies from my "other" kids, combined 200+ Facebook messages make for an amazingly humbling experience. Dinner, no cooking, no dishes - ahhhhhh, the angels sing. It must be heaven.  Dessert sundae from the restaurant - I think it might have been yummy, but I couldn't tell from the one bite I got. A T Plush tee from my hubby and a playmate for Bear on Sunday are the perfect gifts.  I really could not ask for anything more.

So, love and thanks to my FF.  You make my birthday something to look forward to all year long.  That is awesome!

Sometimes you have to take your own advice

And I am not always very good about that.

I use my blog as a venting source.  I can't continually fuss at my FF about how the housework always falls on me, how the parenting seems to fall on my lap, how, how, how...So, I use my blog.  Sometimes it gets read, sometimes people are only searching for pictures of muppets - true fact by the way.  Today, I shake my head at myself and sigh.

I am constantly on my hubby's case about how it is okay to just say NO sometimes.  He can't.  It is just part of his nice guy nature.  Leopards don't change their spots, he will never change.  BUT, now I have to hush up.  I am a sucker for two things - big brown eyes with a waggidy tail and teenagers who actually want to do some good with the world.


So, in addition to claiming stakes to the following titles - fire wife, mom to 4, teacher, department chair, K9 lead staff member, professional shopper, chef, vet tech, laundry maiden - you can now add junior class adviser and Key Club adviser.  My FF fully expected junior class adviser to come - I am one of the only teachers to have ALL the juniors, after prom last year - the kids flocked to me.  He saw this coming.  But, I got a stern lecture regarding Key Club.  Maybe it was a throwback to my college days in Circle K, maybe I just love that kids want to make a difference in the world around them.  I don't know.  See me in May, when I no longer have to worry about getting my hair thinned enough - I will have most certainly pulled it all out.  But for now, I am excited.

First job - wearing Junior Class Adviser - get the homecoming float built.  Somehow I have to get N dropped off in Illinois where they are building the middle school float and then come back up here to get the Junior Class float taken care of.  I am hoping to talk the parent in charge of the MS float into keeping N until I am done with the juniors.  BTW - I will have the other three stooges with me for the junior float building, because it is after all, a BLUE shift.  I just have to giggle and shake my head. So is the bonfire, the football game...Gotta love the blue shift.

Now, which hat am I supposed to have on right now...

I Could Never Be a FF

I know that for certain.  Not because of the physical aspects - I could train for that.  Not because of my fear of dying - I have overcome that before.  Not because of the heartbreaking scenes you see on every shift - I taught in inner-city public schools for 13 years, I have seen more than I can ever share.  I know I could not be a firefighter simply because I don't do politics well.  My mouth is too big, my temper to short.  I am the stereotypical hot headed redhead.  I would live a miserable life in a firehouse, possessing a quick-witted, but sharp tongue.  Combine that with my fiery disposition and you have an explosion waiting to happen!


I have tamed my temper as the years have gone by.  I have learned that I can't always speak my opinion.  I can't always fix what angers me with the world.  But some of the stories I have heard and the scenes I have witnessed, truly make my blood boil.  I can't believe some days, that these are grown men.  I feel as though I am dealing with the 8th grade, maybe the freshmen boys at work.  "Sorry, you can't eat at our with us today.  You switched your schedule and took that other class."   Even at the 9/11 memorial, which was so beautiful, this was evident.  I just can't stand it.  I demand more from my kids at work and here I find adults behaving so poorly, my kids would be offended.  I just don't have the patience for it.

This is not place to discuss specifics and I have been taught not to complain without a solution.  So, here is my solution - GROW UP!  Not everyone looks at the world with the same eyes you do.  Not everyone comes from the same places you do.  Focus on building everyone's skills and teamwork, just in case, God forbid, it should ever truly be tested.  That is so much more efficient that breaking it down.  I wouldn't want to go into a burning building with some of these comments going through my head.

That being said, my husband feels more fulfilled, even with some of these instances, than he ever did with 12 years in a classroom.  He feels he is making a world of a difference, one patient, one home at a time.  And that is why he does bite his tongue and work his arse off.  And for that, I respect him more than he will ever know.

Never Forget

The Milwaukee Fire Department honored the 343 firefighters that lost their lives trying to save those who were trapped after the hijacked planes hit the twin towers.  They held a silent memorial, had turnout gear with the names of every one of the 343 lined up on the apron of Engine 2 for 343 minutes.  The honor guards from MFD and North Shore FD were there.  It was a very moving sight.  I really have no words.

But, what struck me the most was when I found my husband's gear.  At first, I snickered at the fact that his 'Probationary' shield was on his helmet.  (They just recently decided all cubs had to use that shield in lieu of their regular one, so close to the end of their cub year.) Then the reality of it struck me.  That was my husband's gear, in the fallen firefighter formation.  I am not supposed to see his gear like that - ever.  And yet, here it was. With the name of Firefighter Paul Gill, from Engine 54 on his helmet.

Firefighter Paul Gill was 34 when he made the ultimate sacrifice.  He was 34 and became a firefighter later in life, like my husband. FF Gill was an artist, a carpenter, a son, a father who  left behind two boys and a Hero.

FF Paul Gill

April 11, 1967 - September 11, 2001

You have NOT been forgotten!

We will NEVER forget!

http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/129631413.html

A Memory Frozen in My Mind

We all remember where we were, what we were doing, how our breath was taken away.  That moment is forever frozen in our minds.

Please, take a moment from your busy lives to remember

Those who lost their lives.

Those who gave their lives. 

Those whose lives will never be the same.

We remember.

We will NEVER forget!

Your sacrifices will never be forgotten. 

Makes your heart melt

We all know how crazy things get when the firefighter is working and you are home alone, making sure the ships stays righted. But, then you have to take a step back and look at who else is involved with this cruise.  The muppets.


Tomorrow Daddy comes home.  Our firefighter has been working 48s.  He is paying back trades from when D needed surgery and O was in the hospital and I had to work, but the kids did not have school.  So he is pulling a lot of 3 out of 4 shifts.  He is working 72 out of 96 hours.  I think we have one more.  It makes my life crazy...but also the kids' lives.


Tomorrow is also one of the most important days of the year.  13 years ago I married the love of my life, in a beautiful music filled ceremony.  9 years ago I brought another love of my life into this world.  I spent my anniversary going through the roughest of my 4 deliveries.  I will spare you the details, but I remember them vividly.  And it was all worth it.


Today, while I am folding laundry to pack, B came up to me.  "Mom, I am getting the best birthday present tomorrow." Me, "Oh yeah, how do you know?" B,  "Cause Daddy can only work 48 hours in a row by law."  I had to grab him and hug him, he made my heart melt.  The kids miss him when he is gone, too.  B - thank you for reminding me.  Happy Birthday, baby.  You were the best anniversary gift I could have ever asked for!

Glasses

Glasses are a huge part of our daily lives.  "D, where are your glasses?"  Shrug of the shoulders.  "O, where did you put your "eyes"?" Shocked look - "Someone STOLE them!"  (In terribly adorable toddler speak!) "B, please go find your glasses - NOW!" With a goofy grin in response.  We have had three kids in glasses for a few years now.  You would think we have this down to a science, but sadly, we do not.  D's glasses were eaten by the monster under the bed.  With all of this packing, I have yet to come across them.  B's glasses were destroyed and O can't live without hers - snot, smudges and all. Solution - eye exams and new glasses.

I made the appointments - all three back to back.  I was smart this year - I did it when J was off!  Last year, they put us in the last appts. of the day - ending at 8:30 pm (not smart with a 2 year-old!).  And of course, it was while J was in the academy - don't think he was home even after we got home from that traumatic experience.  We did the exams this afternoon and that was AMAZINGLY smooth - even the Doc was surprised at how well it went.

Then came the hard part - ordering the glasses.  First crisis - D doesn't need them anymore, her astigmatism has corrected.  Sounds good, right?  WRONG!!  She had the most adorable glasses picked out and was HEARTBROKEN that she was not going to be able to get them.  NOT FUN!  B's eyes have gotten even WORSE.  And O's are still pretty far off from one another - one being significantly worse than the other. Then, came the ineptitude of ordering them.  I have vision insurance.  It should not be this hard.  But instead, the lady - not sure of her title - pushes me to go for their in-store special.  Never running it through my insurance.  When I point that out, she does the math - WRONG - and is a bit insulted that I questioned her judgement.  REALLY?? I requested their scripts - and that fell on deaf ears.  I left SO frazzled.  We got home and I started looking for another place to buy the kids glasses.  I do, call them.  Give the girl a heads up, tell her she will have to call for the prescription and we head in.

By this time we are nearing the witching hour.  O is DONE trying on glasses.  B just wants to be his usual chatty self.  The girl  at the 2nd Optical Center can't get anyone from the first to give her the prescriptions - after being accidentally hung up on - TWICE - there is a refusal to answer the phone on the end of the original store.  It is MISERABLE.  We get a pair for each picked out and Brittany - the lovely patient girl in the optical dept - says go home, I will call them and then call you.

We get home, get the 2 muppets fed - yes, they had not had the chance to eat through all of this craziness.  Get the girls to bed, the phone rings.  She will have to call me in the morning - out of spite, the girl at the original place got the approval from the insurance - which she told me she "could not get" with her computer program, hence the suggestion of their program.  It would have to wait until morning.  SOOOO, we are going back in tomorrow.  With just O.  I have some glasses picked out, but it was too hard to tell if I liked them or not.  We'll try it again.

My Crazy Life

Things have been absolutely CRAZY around here. Sorting, packing, loading, unloading. Just NUTS. Last night we had some nasty t-storms roll through and somehow I ended up with a child next to me, I thought about banishing her back to her realm, but no.  It is kind of refreshing to have her just BE here with me.  Woke me up early, but that is okay.  I have missed the cyberworld.  It has been nice.  No tea parties, not packing, not playing with Strawberry Shortcakes - just being.  Today, my FF goes to work.  My oldest and youngest will be hanging out with me.  I think we will find the kitchen, pick up the family room and the dining room and then just chill.  There is laundry to be done - A TON of it!  I am SOOOOOO behind on laundry.  I might try and sneak some of that in, too. J works a 48 this weekend as well, I am certain I will be pulling my hair out over that by Sunday - especially with all that laundry calling my name.  But through all of this craziness, I think we have forgotten to just BE.  That is my goal for today. JUST BE!

Tomorrow - back to the craziness....

It is NEVER the answer

I just got a Facebook message from a teacher, who was originally in J's class at the academy.  His wife, is friends/co-workers, with the mom of some former students of mine.  He let me know that one of the girls took her own life last week.  My heart sank.  My kids have hardly recovered from the suicide of one of their own over a year and a half ago, and now we lost another. The surviving sister, took her friend's suicide, hard.  I cannot even begin to think of what this will do, knowing it was her own sister.

Please know suicide is never the answer, there is always another way.  Everyone, please let your friends and family know that you love them, especially if they are having a rough time with life.  The simplest gestures have the biggest impact.

Cookie, take care of her...

Nothing like having life come at you ubber fast!

WOW! I just feel like someone hit the fast forward button, but doesn't actually know how to use the remote.  My last post was a tribute to my Curly boy, the vet brought him home a few days ago.  I am odd that way.  All of our dogs are cremated and brought home with us.  They will all be buried with me.  Some people think it is crazy, which is why I don't ask their opinions.  His beautiful urn should be here today.  I feel like a slacker because I didn't have it when he came home.  But the last service our vet used sent them home in a beautiful rosewood case.  This service, however, did a paw print and curl clipping - that was sweet.

The day after my last post, I left for Memphis for a 1 to 1 Laptop Conference.  It was GREAT!  Some presenters were stronger than others, but overall, it really got the batteries recharged.  One of the other teachers - we both came from the same school district and were new this year - we really have plans going for the conference next year and a student mentoring program.  It was great!

Beale Street was also the best medicine.  I LOVED going out every night.  The music was great.  Adult conversation was needed.  It made it so much easier to come home and deal with life.  I hate to say it, but the timing could not have been better.  J did not have to do the heartbreaking alone and I did not have to feel guilty because I did not say good-bye.  I am still not sleeping well - I had the same thing when we put our Riley boy down, but I am hoping that I will be so bust that I won't be able to NOT sleep!

So, my flight came in at 9pm and 12 hours later, we were signing the papers for our new house.  The bedrooms are bigger, there is a living AND a dining room.  I don't have to turn one into the other to fit my children around a table.  Best part - I am a hop skip and a jump from my school, as opposed to an hour plus!   I can't WAIT for the first to come.  They are painting and cleaning it for me as we speak.  WHICH MEANS - I have been packing this house up - ALONE.  My hubby has been working or on jury duty.  He is on day 2 of a 48.  Yesterday was CRAZY for our MFD.  Fire after fire after fire.  J did not get to sleep until after 5am.  He is compressed air today.  It was funny to hear him on the feed today.  Makes for an easy morning for him.  All of this is during the 95-105 degree days we have been having.  NOT FUN!  So, my hubby will be able to sleep tomorrow when he gets home, the muppets are going with me to hang out at my dad's house.  Dad is working, so he won't be bugged by the crew and daddy can sleep for the morning.

I am back to packing and trying to sell of my hubby's classroom off so we don't have to move that with us!

Happy Friday.  I think my hubby will be able to help me after he gets a nap in tomorrow.  Wish me luck!

My Curly Q

It is 3am. I just came off of 42 hours without sleep, you would think that I would be out like a light.  Instead, I am laying here in bed, wide awake, with a nasty headache feeling heartbroken.

We are dog people, through and through.  They are such a part of our lives.  Last night we lost an amazing part of our life.  We lost our Curly.  Mind you, this is my self pity, my greediness coming through.  But, it was his 18th birthday. :(  He made it to 18 - how many goldens can say that?

New Year's Eve - 2002
He instantly fit in with our pack!

Curly was our last GRRoW adoption.  Aside from our female golden, all of our k9 units have come through rescues.  I don't need a cute little ball of fluff to fall in love.  A simple wagging tail and pair of big brown eyes should suffice.  Curly was one of special needs adoptions.  I ALWAYS seem to go for poor pup with the most heartbreaking sad story.  Riley was one of those and then came Curly. Curly was a 9 year-old golden - with a beautiful red curly coat.  He was deathly afraid of loud noises - fireworks and t-storms and the like (a fear which I got him to get over!).  He ran off during the 4 of July celebrations of 2002 .  When they found him, he was heartworm positive.  One treatment is hard enough, Curly needed, and amazingly, survived two.
                                                                                He was amazing right from the start.  His foster mom even tried to scare us off with how much work he would be.  (I have to call her and let her know.) He really wasn't much work at all - no hard food, if he got a hold of any, you had to dig it out of his throat.  Ewwww.  So, we made Curly Shakes.  Curly out-lived, I don't know how many blenders!  Curly had a misshapen throat, it was at a 90 degree angle AND he had mega-esophagus - essentially, he couldn't swallow properly.  In December of 2008, he was diagnosed with Stomach cancer that had spread to his liver and lungs.  We prayed that he would make it through the holidays.  He did, and two more sets after that.

Curly just wanted to be loved and to give love.  He worked in both of our classrooms.  With J's classes, it was "Curling up with a Good Book" where reluctant readers would read to him.  In my classes, the goldens just hung out. One of my biggest, bad-a$$ thugs would make sure he was in school - in my class - when Curly was there.  He reached some of those kids in ways I could only imagine.  (I will get some of those pictures on here once I get into my classroom and bring them home.)

J brought up the recliner in the middle when I was pregnant with O
It gave me a change of venue from the couch.
You can see who was making use of it.

I can also say that he and I had a very special connection.  Without any training, he became a seizure dog.  Curly could tell before I knew that my seizures were coming, big or small, he knew.  He would come, nose at me and bug me until I sat down.  When my seizures were 100s per week, this was not a small feat.  It took me a bit to realize what was going on.  Not sure if it was the change in electrical energy he picked up on or perhaps there is a scent - no clue.  But my Curly boy knew.  We were bonded in a way that I have not experienced in all my life of k9s.  He got me through some rough times, just by hanging out with me.  He just knew.

A few months ago, I woke up to a horrible sight at 12am - Curly having a violent seizure.  It was a Blue shift, I was all alone and up for the rest of the night.  Curly lost his sight for a bit that night, was scared out of his mind and paced up and down the halls.  We got him on some meds, but the vet was very clear - seizures this late in life are never good, it is a sign of major neuro issues, not simple k9 epilepsy, which we were already familiar with.  Curly's seizures were violent and draining and all but one came in the middle of the night.

Wednesday night was one of those nights.  He woke me up with a violent thud - as he propelled himself off my bed.  I ran and got the ice packs, got those placed on his lower back (not sure why, but it helps shorten the duration of the sz.).  When he came to, I got him his vanilla ice cream (helps revive the blood sugar) - this time he wasn't interested.  Not a good sign.  We would repeat this at 2am, 3am, 4am and at 5am he started clustering.  As soon as my Curly would come back from a seizure, it would suck him back in.

I was so tired, so scared and so alone.  I got the kids up, my oldest got everyone fed so I could stay with my Curly Q and the boys went off to the day camp program in the neighborhood.  I was so thankful when J came home.  We called the vet and had the talk.  It was time.  Today was Curly's 18th birthday.  I guess he just had to make it to that milestone!  We celebrated with a peanut butter and vanilla ice cream shake during one of his more clear moments of the day.  Not the k9 party I had planned for the day, but we celebrated his life as we prepared for his passing.

Hangin' out with Willow after we lost Riley.  It hit him hard. :(

Dr. Waters is an amazing vet.  We have been with her, essentially since she graduated from vet school.

 She left the clinic where we met and opened up a mobile vet practice.  She comes to the house with her specially equipped RV and is wonderful.  This is especially appreciated when it comes time for everyone's annual check up.  Try holding on to two 70+lbs. k9s and a 120 lbs. ball of fluff while other dogs come and go.  NO FUN!  She was able to make it out last night.  I am especially appreciative, at times like these, to not have to walk out to the waiting room like a blubbering idiot, after saying good-bye.  We discussed if this was the right time - if there was anything else.  Dr. Waters simply said, "If he was mine, it would be time."  She will bring him home to us next week.

We called him the grandpa dog - his age, his personality, his love,
his patience - all made him who he was.

I am ETERNALLY grateful that J made a trade a few months ago.  It sucked having to go through all the seizures by myself, but it would have sucked so much more, having to say good-bye to Curly alone.  It was after all, a Blue shift.  J was supposed to be working.

Curly will be missed like crazy.  I can't sleep because he is not curled up in the crook of my legs and his collar is simply not enough.  There are a lot of tears in our house right now, but the joyous moments definitely outweigh any amount of tears.  Goodbye Curly Q. Your pawprints are tattooed on my heart. I know Riley was waiting for you on the other side of the rainbow bridge.  I will see you guys again someday.  Look for me.

Curly
July 7, 1993 - July 7, 2011

Independence Day

The Blue Shift is notorious for hitting holidays - not sure what it is and the Fourth of July is not different.  For me, that was okay.  The big fireworks in our area are on the 3rd, so we could go out on the lake and watch the fireworks.  Life was good.  Then a last minute family picnic came up, with my hubby family is first.  So, I was a bit saddened.  I love fireworks.  Not sure why, I just do.  I think J knew that, even if I didn't say anything.  He made good.  The opening night of Summerfest is the Big Bang, probably just as big, if not bigger than our 3rd of July fireworks.  We took the sailboat out, dropped anchor and enjoyed the lake while waiting for the light show to begin.  Daddy hailed the Trident and got to show off his fireboat to his kids and his sailboat to his colleagues, it was a win/win a that moment.  And AMAZINGLY, all 4 kids stayed awake and were BEAUTIFUL for the fireworks. 

Yesterday was the family gathering - the muppets had fun.  Family got to bond.  And my FF still found me some fireworks - with a nice view, on our drive home. Today, my firefighter is off to keep the world safe from themselves and the scary combination of booze and gunpowder.  He took care of his family and now he is taking care of others. It is his willing sacrifice for the community he serves.

Freedom Isn't Free

So, as you celebrate, grill, drink, enjoy the various light shows - please remember what it is we are celebrating.  We are celebrating freedom from tyranny and oppression.  Freedom from taxation without representation - our voice deserves to be heard, no matter how quiet.  Freedom to practice our beliefs without persecution.  Freedom to love and associate with whomever we choose.  Freedom to live, work, study, wherever our lives and talents take us.  And most of all, please remember that freedom is never free.  There are sacrifices which must be made - sometimes the ultimate sacrifice - all for the greater good.  Take a moment to remember that the Continental forces took on the supreme power of the age and WON!  But, not without cost.  There were lives and limbs lost to battle and weather, to hunger and disease - all to ensure that future generations would be heard.  Please be sure to remember and to be thankful.  Thankful to those who won us our Independence and  those who continue to fight for that Independence.

So, instead of Happy 4th of July, how about Happy Independence Day!